I developed an emotional attachment to the second girl I ever went on a date with, and all we did was make out in a parking garage. I attempted various measures to remove this girl from my mind, such as spinning plates (dating multiple women concurrently) and utilizing the emotional turmoil I was experiencing as fuel to better develop myself to no avail. Eventually, after conducting deep introspection, I concluded (and discussed in great detail in this article) that I was obsessing over how she made me feel, and not her. Consequently, measures to rectify this issue commenced, and I suddenly had an epiphany: I know lots of people. 

I know lots of people. 

I know lots of people. No, really – I know lots of people. In my 27 years of life, I have encountered and associated with an innumerable amount of individuals. As a toddler, I spent most weekdays in daycare being taken care of by child-care workers. In grade school, I had best friends I would play and have sleepovers with. In high school, I had cross country teammates who impacted the trajectory of my life to such a profound extent, that there’s sincerely a possibility I wouldn’t be the man I am today if it wasn’t for me being in the right place at the right time. In college, I had friends, gym bros, and classmates that I would hangout and interact with regularly. Post college, I worked multiple jobs in various cities and states and made some great friends who ended up taking me to bars and nightclubs for the first time.  

Now, as a consequence of life circumstances, falling outs, unexpected deaths, and relationships running their course, I don’t keep up with, speak to, or, quite frankly, care about 99% of these people anymore. However, this wasn’t always the case. You see, at some point, many of these people were incredibly important to me; but then, whether transitionally or abruptly, they no longer were. And, in spite of this, I’m okay. 

They’re gone, but you’re still here. 

Me and a relatively recent former best friend, who I was extremely vulnerable with and deeply cared about, did everything together. We would go on shirtless runs in my cities downtown and college campus, pick up (run game) on chicks, constantly text each other, had almost identical life outlooks, etc. Saying that he was literally 1000x more consequential than any woman I’ve ever dated is an understatement – I genuinely deemed this guy as one of a kind and irreplaceable. However, despite him being one of the most important people in my life at a certain time, we no longer talk. It initially sucked not having him in my life, but I then remembered all of the previous friendships I had that ran their course, and realized that new people who were just as valuable or better would inevitably come along, as that has always been the case. 

The next time you find yourself completely and utterly devastated about a woman leaving you, try remembering all of the important people in your life who have come and gone. Reminisce about the best friends you had in various stages of your life, all of the experiences shared together, and recall family members and pets who have passed away. Not only are these people most likely substantially more important than the chick you're preoccupied with – but you’re still here and in all likelihood doing just fine. 

Practice Gratitude

Once you accept that the woman you were pining for is no longer in your life, assess what mistakes you made with her romantically, evaluate what aspects of her you liked and disliked, and be thankful that you have the opportunity to not only learn from your blunders, but to better understand what features you desire in women and are looking for in a more serious relationship. Furthermore, if you have any pleasant memories with her you constantly muse upon, be grateful that you were able to experience it, have stories to tell friends, and look forward to the new ones that will undoubtedly occur in the future. Remember: you lived without her. You can live without her. 

But My Girl Was Different

The most common refutation to my suggestion is the notion that the woman who is now absent from the man’s life was special. Rollo Tomassi wrote an excellent piece refuting the “My girl was different claim,” so I will direct you all to that instead of regurgitating what he says. I will add that believing the woman you met, be it from a dating app or church in a third world European country, is a unicron is a delusional romantic idealization, devoid of any understanding or acknowledgment of female nature. You think your girl is “not like the others,” because she has been idealized as a consequence of the feelings she provided you with, preventing a logical and accurate assessment of her true value and flaws from occurring. 

Sure, there statistically has to be some women who exist on planet earth who are special, which in this case is just a woman who does not act in accordance with her nature. But, the odds of you landing this chick, especially in a western country, is so improbable that convincing yourself of such is outlandish. Furthermore, always remember that every plugged in average frustrated chump believes his girl is special. And if everyone is special, no-one is special. 

I’ve been with countless women in the past year: girls in their late twenties, black women, blondes, Asians, Venezuelans, communists, conservatives, liberals, slightly heavier (not fat) chicks, girls who formerly had armpit hair (I didn’t know at the time), bisexuals, and they are all literally the same. These various types of women may verbally express desiring different types of behavior from men, but none of them can help being attracted to and aroused by conventionally masculinity. 

So, as discussed in the aforementioned section, your best bet is to be grateful for your experience, and apply what you learned in new relationships to make yourself a more competent and desirable man. 

If you enjoyed this article, feel free to read my others pertaining to dating and self development from a red pill framework: https://jackedguy.substack.com/