Unless you're the 1%, you didn't know how the world worked because you were told the opposite. Up was down and left was right. Not just the opposite, but also conflicting and contradictory things. Women want romance - but they don't want a softie - but they do want a softie - but they want a hardened man - but they don't want them too hard.

That shit never ended. And you didn't know which one to follow, so if you were anything like me, you probably just followed the prescribed readings from television, movies and books. Being the male who chases the woman, puts her on a pedestal, profess your undying love for her and all that feels shit.

Now you look back, and that whole time is a fucking disaster. You personally have intimate memories of when you were a complete feminine bitch.It pretty much lasted until you discovered the pill, and even then, you made some mistakes afterwards as you kept learning and progressing.

Luckily for you, nobody else remembers that shit, they weren't there, more often than not it was only you and her who witnessed it, and if you're good at gas-lighting and holding frame, you can deny or bend the truth now anyway.

So you can look back and cringe and say woe is me, or you can just fucking laugh at it. Laugh at the absurdity of what you did, how they reacted, how the world told you you were making the right moves, but everything you did went the opposite of what you'd hoped or expected.

Fuck cringing. Laughter is amused mastery. Who you were isn't who you are, and now you're able to step back and enjoy the mistakes that lead you down the right path.

Cringing, feeling embarrassed, ashamed, whatever negative emotion you associate with telling a girl you loved her and that you had human emotions inside - laugh that shit off.

It's funny.

If you saw yourself doing it now, you could either laugh or feel embarrassed. Which feels better? Laughter. Feeling embarrassed for some guy who is making a mistake doesn't help you, or him, but laughing feels great.

You can't change shit about the past, tying negative emotions to it is just a waste of time, enjoy your life, have a laugh, keep going.