It's About Power.

This post and my comment to that post reminded me of another principle we men all need to remember.

Relationships are about power. Relationships with women are ultimately about power. Hard power, soft power, who has it, who doesn't have it, who wields it, who does not, who can wield it, who cannot.

Everything about your relationship with your wife, your girlfriend , every woman you've dated, and every human being you've ever known is ultimately about who has what power in that relationship.

Women innately understand this because the language of interpersonal and sexual relationships now is soft power. Manipulation, fraud, deceit, subterfuge, subversion, sabotage. All the province of women. Your "hard power" (brute strength, physical dominance, tendencies toward "doing" and hands on leadership and taking the reins) has been mostly neutralized, particularly if she's not all that attracted to you.

Certainly, the "hardest" power you have (your superior size and strength) has been completely neutralized. If you use brute strength and physical force on a woman to get her to do what you want, you'll be in a jail cell by day's end. And this is by design. Women very well understand that to level the playing field and exert the most power in their relationships with men, they have to eradicate men's physical dominance. Or, at least, they must harness and control that brute strength and physical dominance so that it serves women's purposes, not yours. And that's been done.

The women profiled here at WAATGM have lost much of their power. Most of a woman's power is verbal, mental and emotional in nature. Her ability to use wiles, wits, lies, and machinations to get others to do her bidding. With other women, it's deceit, gossip, and behind the scenes manipulation. If those don't work, she'll resort to mental and emotional abuse.

With men, women's power is primarily sexual in nature. Using her body and access to it to get something she wants. Capitalizing on and using to her advantage, men's need to protect and provide. Almost all the time, the implicit unspoken exchange from a woman to a man is

If you will do X for me, I might have sex with you/will have sex with you/will keep having sex with you.

Almost all the women we profile here at WAATGM have lost their power in some way. Mostly, they've lost a lot of sexual power over men. The most valuable thing a woman can finagle out of a man is commitment: attention, time, money, labor and resources. And these women can't get those things from men. They can't use their bodies to get those things from men. Or, they can't use their bodies to get those things from attractive men. They must resort to more overt and brazen tactics: Revealing clothing, damn near direct offers of sex, explicit communication. Lowering standards with offers of sex to men they would never have considered 10 years before. They have reduced power, and they know it.

Many women are vulnerable. They are pregnant, and their babydaddies skipped out. They have little power. They can't offer even their bodies. So they prey on men's innate instincts to protect and provide for vulnerable humans, especially pregnant women and children.

You know you have little power in your relationship with your woman when

--she wont' have sex with you.

--she treats you like shit.

--she shittalks you and uses you.

--she makes you jump through hoops, gives commands, and "runs the relationship".

If that's your relationship, you have little to no power in it.

Men should be all about maximizing their power in their relationships with women. How do you do this? By (1) withholding commitment. (2) withholding time, attention and resources. (3) walking away. No, you can't smack her (unless she asks you to) and you cannot rape her. But you can walk away. You can remove time, attention and money. And you can never give them to a woman in the first place.

You may have to change the rules in the relationship.

"We used to do it that way, but we're not doing it that way anymore, because it doesn't work for me."

"This part of our marriage doesn't work for me. I'm not happy with it. So we will not do it this way. Maybe we will not do it exactly the way i want, but we will definitely not do it this way we used to do it."

You may have to lay down the law and say "no". So many relationship problems can be solved by saying "no".

If all else fails, you may have to walk away.

The only power you do not have in a relationship with a woman is to make her have sex with you and to make her stay with you. She always has the power to reject you sexually, and she always has the power to leave. And the response to the powerplay of sexual rejection is the powerplay of commitment rejection/withdrawal/removal. You have no response to her leaving, except to keep what's yours and replace her, or not. She always has the power to leave. But, then, so do you.

It is all about power. Always.

This will sound harsh to many of you: I want all men to increase and maximize their power in their relationships and reduce and minimize their women's power. She always retains the power to refuse sex and the power to leave, but you always retain the power to impose consequences for sexual refusal.

This post will get profiled at TheBluePill and pilloried elsewhere, because it sounds harsh and abusive and mean spirited. It is not. This post acknowledges what women will not - that women exert power over their men every day in ways large and small, subtle and overt. That relationships are about who has the power in them, who wields that power, and who can wield it. Blue Pillers and deniers can ignore and reject this all they want; it doesn't make it any less true.

It's about power. Have the courage to face the truth.