Exclusivity? How does a HVW ask about this?

Sea_Soil · 2020-10-11T15:15:46+00:00

Do not ask him, do not even bring it up. He is the one who will bring it up, men pursue.

4-6 dates is plenty of time to know if someone is commitment worthy for a man who wants to. If he hasn't brought it up by then, he is not the one. Block and move on. Because he is wasting your time.

jayda92 · 2020-10-11T12:38:19+00:00

A HVW doesn't ask. You just shift your attention to someone else in your scrotation. See that guy stepping up to the plate in 3, 2, 1...

Moonmask999 · 2020-10-11T15:23:50+00:00

FDS does not promote asking a man for exclusivity. Have her read the handbook. Keep her options open by dating several men at once Then, if he wants to keep her, he will ask for exclusivity. But keep in mind on that "GIRL GAME PT. 1: Males, Monogamy, and Mate-Guarding." post I linked to that Monogamy is for marriage and women do not benefit from monogamy before marriage.

To stop recreating these habits, definitely have her read the handbook. During the divorce and after the divorce, have her date herself again. Live her life. Realize her worth. Then start thinking about dating

pencilbride2B · 2020-10-11T19:45:44+00:00

Cut them the moment they stop showing effort. Its that easy, they don't earn your respect, they don't deserve to be in your space. Cut them off when they stop trying.

lunatigre · 2020-10-11T18:29:52+00:00

Your friend is going through a divorce and starting dating again?

Not knowing the specifics of her situation, this detail is a bit concerning. A HVW can stay single and content with herself, she makes room for a man who adds to her life but isn't trying to fill a void or distract from inner work she needs to do on herself first.

As for the question, I agree with other comments, don't ask. If he wants to be exclusive he will let you know! If months go by and he doesn't say anything . . . well you have your answer too.

throwRA8935747835 · 2020-10-11T16:10:12+00:00

As I've said before, he should be begging her for commitment. That's why it is a good idea to see other people/keep your options open, as it limits the emotional attachment and obsession over one dude. That being said, you can also try the "Hey, I like spending time with you, but I am looking for XYZ. If you aren't on board with that, that is fine, and then I wish you the best in your search."

igotchugirl · 2020-10-11T11:28:03+00:00

Ideally, she wouldn’t have to ask because a HVM would want to pin down a woman he values. But if for some reason he doesn’t initiate, she can say something like, “I know we haven’t really discussed this before, but i want to make sure we’re on the same page before taking this any further. I need to know that we are sexually exclusive.”

With that being said, FDS preaches that exclusivity is kind of a null label unless you also have the label of girlfriend. This might not entirely be in line with what she wants right now if her life is too busy for a boyfriend, but she should at the very least express the need for sexual exclusivity, if only for health and emotional protection.

Title	Exclusivity? How does a HVW ask about this?
Author	Lucky_Card2629
Upvotes	27
Comments	18
Date	October 11, 2020 10:55 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/j93fsd/exclusivity_how_does_a_hvw_ask_about_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/exclusivity-how-does-a-hvw-ask-about-this.1068356 https://theredarchive.com/post/1068356

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