~ archived since 2018 ~

Flashbacks to assault (trigger warning)

December 1, 2021
26 upvotes

I’m really struggling to center myself today, as I am having flashbacks to a very traumatic incident of sexual assault. I had to cancel all my obligations to, and I’ve yet to leave my bed. Flashbacks of the sights, signs, and smells make me sick to my stomach. I feel terrified and I feel worthless. It is so intensely painful to have to re-live that experience, and yet when the flashbacks occur there does not seem to be much I can do to overcome them. For the women who’ve experienced something similar, does it get better? Can I feel a since of trust and normalcy again?

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Post Information
Title Flashbacks to assault (trigger warning)
Author SignificantCap8064
Upvotes 26
Comments 4
Date December 1, 2021 7:45 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit /r/askFDS
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/flashbacks-to-assault-trigger-warning.1089265
https://theredarchive.com/post/1089265
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/r6najk/flashbacks_to_assault_trigger_warning/
Comments

[–]super_thinker_ 15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’m so sorry. I’m 8 years away from my sexual assault and every year gets easier. I hesitate to say every day gets easier because the flashbacks and set backs are real. It’s one of those things where you don’t realize how much you’re healing while it’s happening - you just have to trust the process ❤️‍🩹 it’s ok to have bad days, you’re stronger than you know, and you didn’t deserve what happened to you. It wasn’t your fault and what happened to you doesn’t define you.

[–]SignificantCap8064[S,🍰] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you for your kind words of support. I often punish myself for allowing so much of my mental space to be co-opted by my abuse/assault, but I’m realizing I’m not in the wrong to feel the way I do. The individual who took advantage of me in a vulnerable state is in the wrong and my healing can’t progress if I shame myself.

[–]_cnz_ 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It does get better but it takes time, therapy, and a lot of self reflection. For me, I also needed medication as well. I feel trust and intimacy with my friends and family but not men. I don’t think I ever will again but I don’t care I never wanted to be married anyways. If you’re not already I advise speaking to a trauma informed therapist who specializes in sexual abuse.

[–]SignificantCap8064[S,🍰] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you! I have to say I experience the same mistrust. I feel very uncomfortable around men and I don’t think I’ll ever fell fully comfortable being intimate with them. I was feeling so abnormal for having those feelings, but I suppose it’s for the better.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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