Two nights ago I hooked up with my next door neighbor neighbor. I had no intention of hooking up with him, but with the influence of a great deal of alcohol it happened. I feel a lot of shameful and regretful feelings related to my actions, because as much as I feel a strong connection, I know it was nothing more than sex for him. I learned post-hook up that he just ended a decade long relationship a month ago, and he still feels strong sexual and romantic feelings towards his ex. In addition, he’s 37 and I’m 25 so the age gap also makes it difficult to believe we could have any real chance at dating or a relationship. Although all signs point to not seeing or hooking up with him again , I still can’t stop thinking about the intensely intimate night we had and these thoughts give me the urge to reach out again. However, with all of the background information he shared about the connection he still maintains with his ex, I can’t help but to feel like I was just used as a rebound. It’s shameful for me, as I never participated in hook up culture, and it’s hard for me not to believe that he doesn’t think of me as an “easy slut” every time he passes me in the hallway or street. Is it normal to have such intense shame and sadness following a hookup? How do I forgive myself for letting myself be used by an older man?