I thought I was seeing a HV man these past years (I am divorced with kids, remarriage is not currently a goal). My only complaint was that his texting/calling game was poor, but our dates were exceptional & he was fully present for them. Never had so much fun. He was smart, funny, kind, responsible, trustworthy, a good father to his kids, musically talented, a good cook, a good listener, and incredible in bed. I texted him last week, and no reply. I posted on social media about a business success & heard from many people about it. But not him. Days go by... Finally, I cracked. Sent a brief text. He chats a bit like no big deal. WTF? I stated that not hearing from him for so long was not cool, but I wasn't a jerk about it. No reply. So. I guess we broke up? Now my brain won't STFU. It thinks "oh, there's probably a perfectly good explanation!" "You should tell him about your feelings!" "This is a misunderstanding, maybe you shouldn't have said xyz in your text! Maybe apologize?" No, stupid brain. People make time for what is important to them. I wasn't important enough to him to warrant a reply. Full stop. That's the explanation. I do not chase men, even the ones, loathe that I am to admit it (and certainly not to him), I love. So, my questions are- how do I get my brain to stop this nonsense? And, how do I process the cognitive dissonance of knowing how great someone is for years, and then realizing I was mistaken? My ex-husband devolved into an ass over the years, so when he left (once the shock and fear wore off) I was relieved and don't miss him a bit. But this feels different. Disappointment isn't quite the right word, nor is anger or pain, although all are present. Confusion might be closest. Queens, help a sister out?
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