Hey FDS sisters! I'll just preface this by saying that I'm embarrassed to even be asking such a question, but I need some genuine advice from other FDS women. Most of my friends are still pickme's. As a recovering pickme, I need advice from strong FDS women.
So I went on a date with a guy from OLD this weekend. The date was amazing! It was the most chemistry I've had with someone on a first date in a long time. He has a great job, lots of ambition for the future, and is financially stable. At the end, he asked for my number and said he'd like a second date later this week.
Well he texts me the next day and says he's going to be in my neighborhood, and asks if he can come by. Immediately this set off an alarm bell in my head. I think it's too early for him to be just popping by. Additionally, as a single woman who lives alone, I need to be extra careful about who I allow into my home.
I wish I had just told him this. Instead, because I really liked him, I made up a BS excuse. I'm sure he could tell it was BS. He said it was fine-- no problem, but now I haven't heard from him since.
We had such a great time that I'm really sad at the prospect of not seeing him again. However, I have read the handbook several times and I know it goes against FDS principles to chase the guy. My friends are telling me I should reach back out to him. Help me FDS! Do I reach out and let him know I'm still interested, or wait and possibly never hear from him again?
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[–]Sea_Soil38 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Correct, it's too early. I see two scenarios.
Him asking to come over the day after meeting you, knowing you are a woman living alone is inappropriate and callous. It also makes him seem really desperate. That was a red flag. You did the right thing sticking to you gut. Always trust your instincts!
Either way, if you're still interested in him, let him pursue you.
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