What makes a man boring?

Hanan89 · 2020-03-24T05:34:55+00:00

There’s not enough info to tell if you are boring, but there’s a difference between a boring person and a bad conversationalist. If you are struggling to make meaningful conversation with people, just always remember that people love talking about themselves, so when in doubt ask people questions about their life. Ideally, if you are genuinely interested in getting to know someone, these questions will develop organically and once they talk about something you know about/are interested in you can actually have a discussion. If you have noticed that people aren’t interested in talking to you it may be because you are talking about yourself too much or monologuing about something they aren’t interested in. I’ve seen very interesting people do this. Remember that being good at talking to/with people is a skill, and as such can be honed and developed over time, so just keep at it.

rosa_sally · 2020-03-24T06:41:29+00:00

These are answers then men give that make me perceive them as ‘boring.’. It’s really the sheer lack of passion/enthusiasm for anything:

Do you like your job? No. But it’s a job.

What are your hobbies? Gym or watching Netflix. Or getting drunk.

What’s your ideal date? Chinese buffet then pub.

What are you doing this weekend? Nothing. I’m going to watch Netflix.

Do you see your family much? They live near just can’t be bothered.

Are you going on any holidays? No. Don’t see the point.

We all have different interests in life so I may meet a guy and realise we have nothing in common but I wouldn’t think they’re boring.

jetpatch · 2020-03-24T09:33:26+00:00

The easiest way to keep a conversation going is to ask people questions about themselves. Don't worry about not having enough to say, listen. The more you learn from others the more you'll have to say yourself.

onefoulowl · 2020-03-24T11:20:41+00:00

I went on a date with a guy once who was very boring. I bit the bullet and said we should meet early on. This was before FDS, that advises to wait to let a man ask you out. He hardly talked to me before the date and I was reluctant to meet up because he literally asked me no questions about my life. He said there was no point getting to know me if we didn't click in person. I went to meet him, because I don't think it's appropriate to flake on someone even though I really wasn't feeling it. When we met it was me constantly asking questions about him to which he wouldn't give me any interesting answer. 'Do you like your job?' His answer: 'Yeah it's okay.' Do you like films... 'Not really.' Book? 'I don't read.'

His one interest was music and he said he liked rap. I said 'oh I like rap, especially rappers like J Cole who rap about different subjects and issues not just money and b*tches.' Him: 'oh I like the money and bitches stuff. I think it's ironic its basic, I think I just like brainless stuff.' He said he wanted to travel, but he didn't even have a passport, because I was too expensive an investment to get one.

Story short, we had nothing in common. It was the first time in a date where I didn't wait for things to wrap up naturally. I just said I was tired and I think I should go after one beer. That's an example of a boring guy.

mycatpukesglitter · 2020-03-24T13:18:21+00:00

The best advice I've received in this realm is,"If you are interested, you are interesting."

This mean that asking questions and finding topics to talk about are what make you fun to talk to. You don't have to have a full passport or want to hike every spare moment to be an interesting person. Have an arsenal of topics to talk about before you walk into a date, keep up on the news, local happenings, what you saw on the internet that day (keep it PG). Think about what you think makes a person interesting. Is it really all their experiences (sometimes), or is it because they take an interest in you, listen, and have something to say?

kritz81 · 2020-03-24T10:06:37+00:00

When I have to carry the conversation, the entire fucking time. We women don't get carried away when men have nothing to contribute, but just say, "You look so cute when you are talking seriously, I just got carried away by that." pffffft

junjunjenn · 2020-03-24T10:50:51+00:00

I agree you’re probably not boring unless all you do is go sit in your cubicle and go home and do one thing there. Conversation should be a volley. You ask a question, she answers hopefully with an open ended answer and then you ask a question about that. Or you answer her question with another question. It shouldn’t be an interrogation though you are learning about the person and asking them about their interests and life.

NecessaryCook · 2020-03-25T03:49:59+00:00

Lack of spontaneity, strict adherence to schedules and routines, narrow focus on his few interests, self-absorption, lack of curiosity, doesn’t ask for the opinions of others, stubborn in his view, stereotypical conversation/mainstream topics/parroting the news, being over-intellectual and trying to show off his smarts, going off into monologues/doesn’t do dialogue well, boring style/no uniqueness, lack of emoting, flag affect, flat mood, no excitement or enthusiasm about anything, being obsessed worth sports or video games, being typical, not having a unique stance on anything whatsoever, being a “whatever” kind of guy

ivy176 · 2020-03-30T00:29:04+00:00

To me, a guy is boring if he can't carry a conversation or talk about meaningful topics, or if he rants and raves non stop about himself. Surface level people are boring to me even if they lead a very exciting active life. I need substance. I'm quite a home body so I don't need a man who has an ultra full life or countless hobbies to talk about. He just needs to be able to talk about life in a way that I enjoy.

My partner could be talking about his plans for a section of our garden or a TV show or how he's feeling about things. It's not so much the topic, it's that he communicates well and we carry the conversation very effortlessly. We interject humour and warmth into mundane conversations. On the outside, our lives and conversations would seem boring but I don't care. I live for me.

I could find myself more bored by someone telling an amazing story about their adventures in Peru where they bumped into Bill Gates... vs being more wrapped up in a conversation about something petty with someone who I simply enjoy. It's more about someone's style of communication, not the topic, for me. It's about bouncing off each other and forgetting other people are around you, or being able to ride in a car or be stuck at home together but still find talking natural and easy.

Devily666 · 2020-03-24T13:45:08+00:00

Asks boring questions(how was your day, how's the weather.... Etc.), doesn't ask anything about me and his answers to my questions are one worded or not open ended. Has no hobbies/passions, just mindlessly goes to work then home, maybe goes out during the weekend to get wasted 🤢 Is fucking stupid

2020-03-30T02:39:40+00:00

For me it’s the ‘stoner personality’ (as much as I like weed) and ‘looking for something casual’. Your personality honestly could not become any more boring and predictable than these two. I think this is because both of these types of men are spending more time in something else (in this case, weed and sex) rather than developing new hobbies, improving themselves, or divulging in the hobbies they currently have. They’re not putting time into themselves and figuring out who they are and what makes them different because they’re constantly busy with their makeshift hobbies. This can apply to way more topics which can make a man boring but these two are the biggest. A hobby is not a personality

Title	What makes a man boring?
Author	hailbo
Upvotes	28
Comments	28
Date	March 24, 2020 2:44 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/fnxg6i/what_makes_a_man_boring/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/what-makes-a-man-boring.1068747 https://theredarchive.com/post/1068747

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