Can you keep frame if you’re wrong?

weakandsensitive · 2018-09-26T03:56:41+00:00

"i was wrong."

what the fuck is this post?

abudun79 · 2018-09-26T12:21:27+00:00

Frame is not about being wrong or right. Frame is about being in control and taking the lead, even if things don't work in your favor.

Making mistakes is a natural consequence of being in charge and making active decisions, it's no big deal. Neither should it be to admit being wrong and making mistakes. Shit happens, life goes on.

As long as you learn from your mistakes and being wrong is not your default outcome what is there to wonder about?

You're just really fucked if you constantly do the opposite of what the wife suggest (because you mistake doing so for operating in your own frame) and fail most of the time, because she was right. Plus you've been playing in her frame all the time.

drty_pr · 2018-09-26T03:36:24+00:00

You keep frame, by being wrong and not giving a fuck that you were wrong. By owning the fact you were wrong. By not allowing her to manipulate you into submission by the fact you were wrong. Frame has nothing to do with being right or wrong and everything to do with how you see the world; how you face the world.

I think Jesus was even wrong once?

Critical-Lion · 2018-09-26T01:20:30+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/8zhjpt/do_you_want_to_be_right_or_do_you_want_to_be/?st=JMIGQ2XO&sh=f746d69a

Rian_Stone · 2018-09-26T12:32:34+00:00

deleted ^{^{^What}} ^{^{^is}} ^{^{^this?}}

jcrpta · 2018-09-27T17:38:21+00:00

This is an absolutely beautiful question, because in one question it demonstrates a combination of thorough BP conditioning and only the most superficial RP understanding.

The BP conditioning comes from the "is it possible to keep frame?". Your default response for being wrong over the smallest thing necessitates an immediate apology, begging forgiveness and hoping you get it.

The superficial RP understanding comes from the fact you've recognised that your response is wrong, but you don't know how to resolve it.

Here's the underlying flaw in your default response: By begging forgiveness, you are essentially handing control of your emotions over to someone else (ie. you both know you'll feel pretty shitty if you don't get it). It's a golden opportunity for them to manipulate you, and thus isn't conducive to relationships based on mutual respect.

Solution: Don't beg forgiveness and - at least for the petty things - don't apologise. Instead, acknowledge it and immediately move on. Save apologies for when you've really done something meritorious of asking forgiveness - and even then, emphasise that if it isn't offered, you understand. (And FFS if it isn't offered, walk away immediately).

(Oh, and read WISNIFG and NMMNG because if you had, you wouldn't be asking questions like this).

ReddJive · 2018-09-26T11:57:14+00:00

Yes.

HER: Just admit you're wrong.
ME: Of course I am. It's your fault but my mistake

HER: Just admit it you're wrong.
ME: I admit it. I married the wrong woman.

HER: Idiot that wasn't the right thing to do
ME: Damn straight but it was fucking cool right? Did you see how far it went?

HER: You're an ass. Why can't you get it right.
ME: You knew I was an ass when you married me. (then smack hers).

Persaeus · 2018-09-26T14:29:58+00:00

i thought i was wrong once, turns out i was mistaken

RedPillCoach · 2018-09-28T17:13:54+00:00

If you are wrong then owning your shit should be part of your frame, IMHO. It doesn't mean you grovel. It means you learned something and are ready to be better.

You can be wrong but you have not "failed." You have just discovered yet another way that doesn't work. You have discovered another way to get better (by not doing that again!)

UEMcGill · 2018-09-26T08:37:58+00:00

Sure, I've even gotten my wife to apologize for me being wrong.

positiveredpill · 2018-09-28T14:15:15+00:00

If your sincere about it. Frame is being sincere

bueller6626 · 2018-09-26T15:48:49+00:00

I made a mistake and next time I'll do X. Say it with sincerity and confidence. Her frame is anger and falling into her frame is supplication (excessive guilt). This is statement of fact. Her opinion does not have influence on your action. Its all in the non-verbals.

Title	Can you keep frame if you’re wrong?
Author	DoubleDisatitagain
Upvotes	3
Comments	25
Date	September 26, 2018 1:07 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9ixy4p/can_you_keep_frame_if_youre_wrong/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/can-you-keep-frame-if-youre-wrong.203973 https://theredarchive.com/post/203973

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