Divorce threats

johneyapocalypse · 2019-09-22T17:05:24+00:00

Stop saying "I'm not ready for this" and "I'm still not ready for this situation."

Fuck that.

You think life comes with a goddamn user guide? A set of directions? An agenda?

You're ready for whatever life throws at you - whether you know it or not - and clearly in your case it's "not," but who fucking cares? Life's gonna happen one way or another, whether you like it or not.

I apparently have until Monday to cancel all my personal shit or she'll file.

If you cancel one goddamn thing then forget about ever looking yourself in the mirror and respecting who's looking back. May as well saw off your balls and put 'em in her purse while you're at it.

Also got accused of having an affair (I'm not).

Any man who's been married for more than, say, one month will get accused of that, christ it comes with the territory.

My wife has told all her family and my parents about my 'midlife crisis' so I'm having to deflect some extra shit.

Fuck your family. Fuck her family. You can tell each and every one of those assholes to go fuck themselves. I don't put up with shit from any goddamn family member, distant or not, and nor should you.

My wife is also the primary earner and has added threats related to paying for various shit. Am thinking to arrange a mortgage holiday for 6 months in case she follows through with this.

Get a fucking job, or a second job, or whatever.

Coward.

UEMcGill · 2019-09-22T20:03:53+00:00

Go get divorce papers drawn up. Have a lawyer put together a clear and sizable settlement. Then drop it in her lap with a "hey, I'm cool with this. Sign it, don't sign, I don't really care. But let me know which way you want to go, because I've got plans either way."

If she really wanted to divorce you, you wouldn't known until the guy asked your name, and followed it with "you've been served."

The best way to counter divorce threats are with indifference. Because in the end, you should be indifferent.

red-sfpplus · 2019-09-22T12:55:14+00:00

Flowers and a footrub

RedPillGlasses · 2019-09-23T05:54:19+00:00

I've seen a couple comments about you possibly going Rambo. In the interest of a different opinion, I'm going to toss this out there.

How many nights are you out of the house? You don't want to play "weekend Dad", but are you doing that now? Hypothetically, you could have BJJ two nights a week, gym three nights a week and then coffee with a friend (is that guy social time, I don't even know) the other two nights a week.

If she's making more than you, and she's raising the kids solo on most nights, then yeah, she is better off divorcing you.

I don't have an article source, but BoyFriend Husband Father. Boyfriend fucks her silly, Husband is the provider/protector, Father raises kids. How would you rate yourself on each area? Have you improved in the "Boyfriend" category, but dive-bombed in the "Father" category?

She could be a total cunt, you could be a total faggot, just playing Devil's Advocate. I will say any bitch that threatens divorce is either getting fucked by Chad, or getting ready to be fucked by Chad, so your marriage is probably over anyhow.

RStonePT · 2019-09-23T13:23:50+00:00

What ever happened to "we don't negotiate with terrorists?"

SBIII · 2019-09-22T14:13:27+00:00

It depends on how valuable and attractive you are. If you are attractive and valuable, hold frame and do whatever the fuck you want. If you aren't, go work on that.

You could also just go back to your blue pill life and placate her. Do whatever she says so she isn't mad. Did you lick the pill or swallow it?

I feel like recently you were boasting on OYS about how you were able to take whatever she could throw at you? Didn't /u/SBIII say it was famous last words?

You sound like Rambo to me bud. Angry?

GoingOnAJourney · 2019-09-23T17:24:01+00:00

First: Calm the fuck down. Deep breath.

My wife has told all her family and my parents about my 'midlife crisis'

Also got accused of having an affair (I'm not).

Divorce threats

The shit tests you're getting are very similiar to my wife's (I saw she moved out of your bedroom for a time too). You're still new at this so I don't recommend getting papers drawn up and dropping them on her (I don't think your frame is strong enough to do this).

So you need to STFU. Don't bring things up to her. Don't offer her comfort (she doesn't want it anyhow). You're correct - she wants to know you're going to comply to her. I mean, how dare you do things on your own without her approval right? Be nice to her - but not overly accommodating while she rages. And she WILL rage - possibly for weeks or even months (off and on).

Ensure you're 1) owning all YOUR shit at home and 2) taking care of your kids.

When she brings this up again, you need to use WISNIFG tactics "what about doing BJJ is bad?", "i understand you're mad/angry when I go to the gym" (and then go anyways). I would back off on any AA - especially sexual AA at the moment.

It's a hard truth here but you need to hear it - you're wife not only isn't attracted to you but has some severe contempt and hatred for you. She's going to vigorously test your frame for a long time and you're going to fail those tests - a lot. But just keep recognizing the failures and keep doing better.

Is it all bluster?

Not at the time she is saying it. If you're feeling bad/emotional about the situation - leave the house, drive around for a few hours. Take the kids for ice cream or to a park. Go to the gym and lift. Go for a walk. Just don't bring it up to her or victim puke.

One of three things will happen:

You give and cancel some shit; this would be quite bad for your growth and your relationship
She files for divorce. I think the odds of this are very low
She continues to bitch about it from time to time. Maybe even brings up divorce a few more times. You focus on your for a few months until you're frame is strong enough you tell her to go ahead and file - and are serious and really DNGAF if she does.

Good luck - interested in how this turns out.

redwall92 · 2019-09-23T20:05:15+00:00

You want advice? Here's my take...

This is a GEM she's handing you.

Do you want to be stuck with a woman that wants to keep you roped down, tied down, stuck in the mud? If so ... then you've found your woman. Stay with her, and she exactly as she says.

Otherwise, she is setting you up for success no matter what.

You do you, man.

You don't cancel anything. She divorces you. Bingo. You win. Move on with life, and stop worrying about what this woman things or says about you. You've got an awesome life ahead, and she was just planning to drag you down.

On the other hand... You don't cancel anything. She stays with you and tests you more. But she effectively has no real power. You can replay this in your mind every now and again to help you remember that she will say whatever she thinks is necessary to reign you in. But as she can't reign you in ... she will most likely go AWALT and be attracted to this man who refuses to be tied down by a woman's words.

How to proceed? Won't know until next week? Bluster or not? DNGAF.

It's all static man. Your wife and your wife's decisions are not the main channel you stay tuned into. Get out of her headspace, and find yours. You do you. Live your own life.

andyturbo2000 · 2019-09-22T16:10:20+00:00

I’m tempted to say she’s bluffing, but I don’t know your wife. How long have been dreading your wife? Have you done this too fast? I will add that I’m in the same position as you; my wife is the high earner. I do feel vulnerable myself. One thing I have started to do is never talk about money running out...nothing dries up a pussy as fast as a man out of cash...it’s evolution that I should provision.

Iammrp2 · 2019-09-23T04:58:10+00:00

Need more details. You're making her sound like a demon that wants you to suck her dick. Maybe she is but I'm not convinced you're not the problem here. When are you going to the gym and meeting your friend for coffee? Are you making sure the kids get to school/day care on time? Make sure you're owning all your shit. If you are then you have to decide if you want to suck her dick or not. You might like it. Don't forget the skittles.

simbarlion · 2019-09-23T11:11:05+00:00

If things have been well till lately it's pretty likely the divorce threat is covert for another issue, like she thinks you are cheating.

You have stepped out from being her good beta, and she is showing you her power.

Bedtimeshine · 2019-09-23T23:19:49+00:00

What’s this about your wife disappearing without notice? And she works at home 2 days a week? Hmmmm....

peaceandlug · 2019-09-24T14:42:39+00:00

If she is he primary earner, don't be a dumbass-demand alimony!

adeptintact · 2019-09-26T06:17:19+00:00

16 Commandments of Poon, never be afraid to lose her. You fear divorce so much, she has you by the balls. Once you lose that fear and have outcome independence, you will cease to be within her frame. Otherwise she will continue to control you with such threats.

primordialawe · 2019-09-23T00:13:26+00:00

Fuck that bitch. Why you want to be with someone that doesn’t want to be with you AND doesn’t want you to be successful?

themerovingian01 · 2019-09-23T14:50:36+00:00

Never make less money than your wife. That's the kiss of death. Maybe she's pissed that she's doing all the parenting AND providing the primary income. What's your purpose really?

Title	Divorce threats
Author	GoingOnAJourney
Upvotes	5
Comments	53
Date	September 21, 2019 7:45 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/d77mzp/divorce_threats/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/divorce-threats.288489 https://theredarchive.com/post/288489

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