I'm technically not married but we have plans to get married. Everything was/is going strong. But here are some things I'd love to get fixed.

  • She doesn't seem to think of me as a mate that other women would want. I'm assuming that's low SMV.

  • She spends tons of time at work (she's passionate about it) and hangs out with a married-man (boss) plus another woman in a team. The woman's her mentor and she directly reports under the boss. However, most of my conversations with her are always about her talking about her interactions with her boss like how she made him laugh or the simplest things.

  • She tells me she had high sex-drive for me in the past but she doesn't feel as much lust as she did with me. Another problem is that I do get her to orgasm (clit) in sex but she's not getting those mind-blowing ones especially when we first hooked up.

  • She's more interested in talking about herself than she is about finding out more about my day or whatever about me. It's like a 90-10% ratio. I just stfu, steady myself for her emotional outbursts and just let her fizzle out her emotions. It's mostly her ranting to me.

  • I don't know if this is a comfort test, but sometimes when I ask something of her, like asking her to 'learn something', she'll say something like she feels she's not good enough for me.

  • But otherwise, she's always the first telling me things - sharing the good news, bad news, whatever, so I think she still has some kind of reliance on me.

  • She does also have some tests. It's mostly about the belly, the damn belly that i cant seem to get rid of. I lose fat around my thighs and other parts of my body but the damn belly seems stubborn af. Also, she does sound provoked sometimes when I lose my cool in situations - like her screaming and trying to tell me what to do when I'm in a dangerous situation in driving caused by some fucktard-driver - and then turning it around by blaming me for shouting at her.

  • I gym weekly, but I also gain fat along with muscle. She sometimes nips at the fact that I have fat, but the problem with this is that I have no idea why I gain so much fat as much as I do, even with intermittent fasting or cutting calorie intake. It might be the stress from my job as I'm a trainee-doctor. I'd love some advice about this. I'm using the Greek God Program by Kinobody. I'm thinking of adding cardio, but the problem is that I've tried this in the past and I've only had minimal fat loss.

  • I keep telling her to meditate but she's not very willing to (or her mind's too chaotic sometimes from work). She sits sometimes. But I'd like her to have this control over her mind and emotions because I want presence in the relationship.

  • Also, she prefers to watch endless episodes of dramas instead of doing productive things - such as meditate. I feel like this drama-watching also replaces some valuable bonding time, or time that can be spent on conversations. I feel like her conversations are mostly spent with her work colleagues, and she's spent by the time she comes home.

I've read NMMNG and MMSLP. I'm still a little hesitant about doing dread though, since she already feels a little insecure. I also have my own religious principles of monogamous relationships.

Would be great to have some advice.