I guess I know the answer for this

northwest_iron · 2022-10-22T22:55:13+00:00

I visited her at her work because we planned a lunch together and i stayed there a little bit after - I could see the chemistry I don’t have to tell more.

Let's set aside the fact of whether she has, or will cheat for a moment.

so she took her phone made a photo and sent him without listening to me or waiting until I stop.

Instead, let's consider how you (or if you do at all) enforce boundaries for acceptable behavior in the relationship.

Most women, in a committed relationship with genuine desire and an investment in its future, are clear on what is, and what is not acceptable behavior.

Judging from your post, you are in a position where your girlfriend is displaying behavior that makes you uncomfortable, but not so uncomfortable it has you creating or enforcing a boundary. I would assume this has been your behavioral pattern since the beginning of the relationship.

The question is: did she already cheated or just going to do it sooner or later?

Let's imagine you tell her that the it's not normal or acceptable for women to display the behavior she is displaying to her coworker when they are in a committed relationship and that the women you date know that boundary and respect it. She disregards your ultimatum , as it comes from a position of weakness and scarcity. She continues the behavior. Do you simply tolerate it, or do you enforce the boundary and terminate the relationship?

Let's imagine for a moment that she has cheated, or will do so when the opportunity presents itself. You discover the infidelity. Do you forgive her, and resume the relationship? Do you terminate the relationship?

And if you do terminate the relationship, what actions will take place to ensure in the next relationship this scenario does not simply play itself out once more?

Just tell me what to do:

Read the sidebar MRP material, much of what you shared is discussed in depth already. Once you have a grasp of the fundamentals, review Ryan Stone's work on enforcing boundaries.

olebobman · 2022-10-22T22:50:56+00:00

This post shows that you don't have frame.

LTR GF maybe having something with his colleague? A few changes in attitude shows that something is going on.

All of your answers will be found in the sidebar and reading through the main MRP sub. The only point I will share here with you is that you are way too overinvested in this woman's life. If you had shit going on, you wouldn't give a fuck what she is doing when you are not around. Why? Because if you were in a relationship based on when you wanted to get into one, your woman would already know the expectations and boundaries that were put in place while you were plating her for a long period of time. Does she break one of your boundaries? Sucks for her. She gets demoted back down to a plate, while you sample the other pussy out in the world that are wanting to be with you.

Start lifting heavy as if your life depended on it, read through the entire sidebar (books, posts, etc.), start shutting your mouth and stop acting emotional in your responses to her, and focus all of your energy on building the life you want to live. You gave us little to no info on your life, so I am assuming you are both very young, inexperienced, and retarded. Too retarded to be in a relationship for that matter. You posted here for a reason I am assuming? You should then know that everything in your control is your fault and it's up to you to change your circumstances. Now go and get to work, retard.

bussiinesstravel · 2022-10-22T22:40:58+00:00

So I have an LTR with a girl

What does this mean? How long did you date this girl before getting into a relationship with her?

Give us info.

I visited her at her work because we planned a lunch together and i stayed there a little bit after - I could see the chemistry I don’t have to tell more.

You are so far up this woman's ass that it ain't funny.

so she took her phone made a photo and sent him without listening to me or waiting until I stop.

She likes the validation she gets from him. This is usually a substitute to what she is not getting in her other relationships - RE: sidebar.

did she already cheated or just going to do it sooner or later?

Who cares... STFU, lift heavy, sidebar, live your life, and go fuck some other broads (if you are attractive, that is...). I doubt this is a relationship anyway... Probably some 8-month plate that you are over-investing in. Showing up at her job just to hang out with her because you are needy and co-dependant is absolutely pathetic too. Start reading through the sidebar and lifting on the regular; then, come back to this post to see where you are going wrong.

Tyred_Biggums · 2022-10-23T00:48:00+00:00

How fat are you and what are your lifts?

Edit: oh you’re really fat. And you’re surprised she has the hits for work colleague? Stop sucking.

PutABabyInThat · 2022-10-22T23:55:02+00:00

did she already cheated or just going to do it sooner or later?

Does the answer to this even matter?

She sounds like a keeper bro... stay the course.

mabden · 2022-10-23T01:13:23+00:00

Whether she is going to fuck this guy is TBD.

Whether she is disrespecting you (taking/sending pic) while spending time with you, YES.

Whether she is entertaining this guy emotionally, You Bet.

He's a work buddy so unless she is willing to quit her job, the only thing you can do is enforce consequences for crossing boundaries with this guy.

This means you end the relationship. Your choice on before or after she fucks him.

Cloudy_Pirate · 2022-10-22T23:09:09+00:00

She clearly has options. The question is: do you?

And I guess we already know the answer for this. If you had options, you wouldn’t care and you wouldn’t be here asking this question.

So go become a man that has options.

How? Lift, sidebar, STFU, OYS. Just like everyone else.

sicrm · 2022-10-23T05:31:57+00:00

in probably this order, break up with her, make a workout plan, read the sidebar over and over.

adeptintact · 2022-10-24T03:12:53+00:00

It's an emotional affair for sure and possibly already a physical affair. Time to break up with her and improve yourself for the next time.

disgruntleddigger · 2022-10-22T23:00:50+00:00

They like what they like, it doesn’t seem to me that this is you

Title	I guess I know the answer for this
Author	davidlaslo
Upvotes	5
Comments	30
Date	October 22, 2022 10:23 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/yb0gll/i_guess_i_know_the_answer_for_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/i-guess-i-know-the-answer-for-this.1136853 https://theredarchive.com/post/1136853

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