I need a hobby

RPAlternate42 · 2016-10-11T03:38:22+00:00

Abandoning your children means leaving. Permanently. Anything else is a guilt trip set upon you by your Beta Shit Goblin^TM or your wife.
Having a hobby that is your time and only your time is healthy for you, your marriage, and your kids. Just like if your wife is on a pedestal she is always set to fail and she has no incentive to do better for you, you can never be missed if you are always present.
Are you lifting? If you are not lifting -if you don't already have an hour of solid gym time- then forget the hobbies for now and be not present at the gym.
If you are lifting, then the best hobbies are ones that have you building something or creating something, preferably something physical. I build things and work with wood. I also find house upgrade projects are a good hobby as long as they don't impede entire rooms. Something like window valences, or a fireplace upgrade, or some interesting shelves. Maybe art is your thing: learn to paint, draw, sculpt clay. Learn to weld and make neat sculptures. Gardening is a good hobby. I'm not going to list everything. Try to be as out of the house as possible.
Try meetup.com for social-related activities in your area.
Stop hugging and kissing your wife if her reaction (or lackthereof) isn't something that you like. One of the first things I did (and Pre-RP) was knocking that shit right off. ~~Weird thing was~~ of course when I started lifting again and got physical results quickly, her attitude became, how come you don't kiss me anymore. hugging and kissing her is chasing her. Men worth their salt and their time don't chase women. Women chase them.

Finally:

You haven't had sex in 6 months... and you are still whining about it? My guesses are that you have no idea what dread is (so you aren't using it), that you are in no position to even start with dread, that you are not swole, that you dress like fuck-head, and that you still for all the shit tests. You should be at least at level 6 and you haven't even started level 1 yet.

Before RP, if I hadn't had sex in 6 months, it was likely because I wasn't trying (or I was asking.) If you aren't just going for it, your are wrong. If you are asking for sex, you are wrong. When you initiate sex, the onus for rejection is on her and the lack of sex is now on her, not you.

If it is a 6 month desert because she is rejecting every advance, then you need to read the 12 levels of dread (and read it anyways) and formulate a plan for changing that. Pre-RP, I still understood that no sex meant no me and that was why I was about to divorce her. Mate-guarding behavior came out strong in her after that, whcih cemented the idea in me that I was being retained instead of being desired. When the behavior fell off again, I was finding MMSLP and then MRP.

man_in_the_world · 2016-10-11T04:44:32+00:00

You also need to get your infant out of your wife's arms, sight, and hearing for at least 30 minutes a day, to temporarily stop that constant libido-suppressing oxytocin drip, to dispel the idea that she's a special mommy snowflake whose baby needs her every single second of the day, and to condition her to spend 30 minutes without worrying constantly about the kids (which might come in handy when you're trying to have good sex with her).

So after your baby nurses, take your child AWAY for some daddy bonding. Just walk around showing him/her stuff while talking the whole time about what you're seeing and doing, or chase the other kids around while holding the infant so that he/she can see and hear the action. (Babies love watching other kids and trying to participate.) Your baby needs this; your wife needs it, especially if she's a mommy martyr or snowflake and thus resists it at first; you need it to bond with your baby; your sex life needs it, too.

onmyownpath · 2016-10-11T03:00:04+00:00

There is a thread in MRP with a huge list of things men can do.

Edit: https://m.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/402xlm/time_to_fill_up_the_calendar_has_anyone_made_a/

BetaFeelz · 2016-10-11T16:12:46+00:00

You do have a hobby, it's watching TV, expanding your waistline, and wondering where your life has gone. My friend, if you have time after 730PM, get thee hence to the iron temple and start lifting. Stronglifts, Starting Strength, Greyskull LP, just pick a beginner barbell program, learn to lift, and learn to eat.

Do that for six months and see how you feel. I can't say whether or not your wife will want to fuck you, you lift for yourself- your health, your body, even just so you can play with your kids.

At some point during these next six months you will realize, "Damn! I have four other nights per week I am still slobbing away on the couch with a priapism! Maybe there is something else I can find to do," besides of course calling your GP to get that four hour erection checked out.

Then you find cool shit to do, whether it's something around the house, out of the house, be busy. Maybe one night a week you belong to a club. Three nights you work on the house, or build something.

The point is that you have so much time you are wasting! You will never get it back.

breakingchains507 · 2016-10-11T02:36:20+00:00

As far as hobbies go, I've always found things/skills that are hands-on are the best stress relievers and give the most peace. They make you focus on what your doing and not the bullshit occupying your mind. Some suggestions..

Take up drawing/painting/sketching
I've been a fly fisherman since i was a kid... tying flies is a very peaceful activity and takes time and patience.
Um... reading? Sidebar?
writing
take up the guitar or another instrument
i do woodworking and carpentry.. very rewarding
lifting? Punching bag?
start a junk car/motorcycle resto project
take up a sport like raquetball or bowling or something that doesnt require a team that you can be flexible on time with.. plus, cardio-ish!

Good luck brother

edited: formatting

Westernhagen · 2016-10-11T03:16:02+00:00

"Basically now I'm just sitting in front of the TV watching football"

Well duh GO LIFT.

You must not have read many posts in this forum because the top ten pieces of advice you'll get here are: GO LIFT GO LIFT GO LIFT GO LIFT GO LIFT GO LIFT GO LIFT GO LIFT GO LIFT GO LIFT

BluepillProfessor · 2016-10-12T01:12:38+00:00

You self diagnosed admirably. Now you are taking action. This is good work!

Most gyms have a day care. I don't see the problem. I think you need a SOCIAL hobby more than you need woodworking in your man space kind of thing. You need to get out of the house and build options for yourself. Right now you have none.

Also, kissing and slopping on a woman who is "withdrawn" and has denied sex for 6 months is not just cringeworthy- it is truly vile and disgusting. Stop it. She has you so trapped with those kids her pussy is dried up like the planet Mars.

Read the Book of Pook!

You should be free as a bird, flapping around, singing, full of joy with life. Women want to fuck the bird and throw it in a cage (cage = commitment). When birds try to fly into the cage, wouldn't you think something is wrong with that bird? After all, who wants a bird that WANTS to be in the cage? No, women want the birds that are FREE, WILD, and BEAUTIFUL. They want A GOOD CATCH. Good Catches do not fly into cages. Only wounded or needy birds do.

ParadoxThatDrivesUs · 2016-10-11T02:42:33+00:00

This is the laziest fucking post.

zeteomegaleio · 2016-10-11T02:56:12+00:00

Are you really asking other people to tell you what you're interested in? Do you not have any idea what you might be interested in doing to get you started?

I checked out some of your posts. You're apparently in great shape but wife is totally closed off. Granted you have a 2 month old, but still: 12% body fat and the wife is still shutting you down completely to the point of not wanting you to touch her practically at all.

So you either have a facial cleft, or you are physically attractive but need to grow into someone who has an attractive/interesting personality to go with it.

You can't gain an interesting personality by asking other people to tell you how to be - in fact, that is exactly how you become fake and unattractive because you'll be completely awkward trying to live other peoples' suggestions/lives.

Why don't you turn off the game, go sit alone in some solitude with a pen and paper, and think about things you used to be interested in or might be again?

What do you think would be enjoyable? Do you think the results would make you happy if you put time and effort into it?

This isn't rocket science.

logger1234 · 2016-10-11T14:22:26+00:00

"Basically now I'm just sitting in front of the TV watching football and thinking about the sex I'm not having."

Fraternal order of eagles, Elks, Moose, Knights of Columbus all meet at night.

logger1234 · 2016-10-11T14:23:05+00:00

Evenings at the house?

Get a weight set.

Alternatively: Get a guitar and learn to play.

luanticfridge · 2016-10-11T20:55:41+00:00

Learn a classical piano. Build long-bows. Take up hunting/fishing. build Canoes/kayaks. Learning leather tanning/leather work. Take up Cabinet making. Take up blacksmithing. Brew beer. These are just some of the things I do with my spare time. If you play an instrument, perform live at open-mic nights. Fuck man, you need a hobby. There are literally a metric shit ton of things to do out there.

BobbyPeru · 2016-10-12T03:52:18+00:00

Read the sidebar, lift

[deleted] · 2016-10-11T05:09:58+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	I need a hobby
Author	prarrott
Upvotes	0
Comments	36
Date	October 11, 2016 2:12 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/56vtv8/i_need_a_hobby/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/i-need-a-hobby.207013 https://theredarchive.com/post/207013

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