Ignore complaining?

whinemoreplease · 2015-10-06T21:10:09+00:00

copy and pasted from somewhere else -

It's because you're indulging her negative behavior and self pity. Serious question, why do you keep shitty people in your life? Don't have enough self respect to expect better yet?

Personally, the moment I hear a negative statement without a way forward, I give my wife a look. It's just as easy to be negative as it is to be positive. Positivity usually means forward progress, negativity usually means wallowing.

jcrpta · 2015-10-06T20:13:05+00:00

Women solve their problems completely differently to how men do.

Most women will talk something over but - and this part is incredibly difficult for most men to understand - they're doing this to try and get their thoughts in order rather than to ask advice. They don't want advice, they just want somebody to nod and coo sympathetically occasionally.

The upshot is that her man will wind up being on the receiving end of a never-ending barrage of petty shit, a sort of stream of consciousness that operates through her every waking hour.

Offering advice is downright counterproductive in such cases. Even saying something that demonstrates your empathy can be dangerous; shutting up is far and away the safer option. Accept that she will do it - she's a woman and she thinks of it as a form of bonding behaviour - and deal accordingly.

itsgavinc · 2015-10-06T18:54:17+00:00

Don't always ignore. You need some introspection. The entire purpose of MRP is to make yourself better.

Is she complaining because you are a drunk captain? Be honest with yourself. If she is, then you are a failure and need to take action and not ignore her. Legitimate complaints to a captain don't get ignored, they get acted upon. The endgame is that you become such a good captain that your first officer rarely has anything to complain about. You know you've handled your shit so that when she does complain, you then ignore it because everything is under control.

SUMMARY: If you are new to Red Pill, do NOT simply ignore her. Your SMV isn't high enough and chances are you are a drunk captain.

mrpnoob9718 · 2015-10-06T21:00:35+00:00

I get "this day is dragging..." or something similar like 8 times every day. I'm not really sure what to respond with either. Most times I write "yeah.. sucks"

I'm in the same boat as you.

edit: I'm not saying I'm doing it right either. I'm not sure what the "correct" way to handle this is.

fakefalse · 2015-10-06T18:42:52+00:00

STFU and ignore. As you get better and establish your new IDGAF persona, you'll be able to start AA and Fog and so on.

ThatOtherMarriedGuy · 2015-10-07T13:46:36+00:00

I am new so take this with a grain of salt...

I used to get endless bitching and complaining about whatever when I walked in the door. Sometimes it was about me, sometimes not. Nodding and pretending to care did nothing to help, nor did offering advice or a solution.

So now when she starts downloading all of her shit on me, I sort of halfway pay attention and halfway keep doing whatever else I was doing, including watching TV, dicking around on the computer, or going to take a dump. When she pauses to take a breath, I just say, "That sucks, babe." (Thanks MRP!)

I don't say it dismissively, but I don't invite additional blah blah either. I've done it enough now that my wife sort of chuckles to herself and sometimes mutters something about me not caring or whatever, which I ignore.

This has cut way down on the time I spend listening to bitching.

rurpe · 2015-10-06T20:16:31+00:00

Stop responding to whines and she will stop or complain to someone else

RedCML · 2015-10-09T07:15:56+00:00

A lot of responses say to ignore those texts. Why don't you try this for a couple of months to see if it makes a difference? Completely ignore her negative comments. She is giving them to you because you are responding. Hopefully she'll stop or seriously cut back. Maybe she'll test you a year from now to see if you'll respond.

She's seeing life negatively and thus she is complaining. These particular complaints indicate she's in a rut. A routine of monotony. She wants excitement in her life. You don't have to provide it. Do something you think will be exciting and invite her to join you. Don't do it for her, because if you do you will fail. You'll guess at what she might find exciting, it won't work quite right, you'll have a covert contract that you do this and she'll be happier, she won't be, and you'll be unhappy. Even just going out to dinner. "Hmm, there's a new place I bet she'll like and it'll get her out of the house." You two go, she will probably enjoy herself (or maybe not), the next day she is back to complaining, and you are unhappy because you did something for her and it didn't change the root problem. So instead think of a new place you'd like to go, a place you'd like to go whether she wants to join you or not, then do it.

If you actually don't have any ideas on things you'd like to do for fun, for yourself, then you need to get a life.

She won't be a happier person if you bring her flowers. She'll be a happier person if you lead an exciting life and she's able to follow you through it.

thisisme0007 · 2015-10-06T20:17:20+00:00

Have you read anything? Don't respond to these texts you are too important

Title	Ignore complaining?
Author	awyden
Upvotes	4
Comments	22
Date	October 6, 2015 6:33 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/3nqm2d/ignore_complaining/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/ignore-complaining.208045 https://theredarchive.com/post/208045

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