Not sure how to handle this?

FF0000_captain · 2017-07-11T22:17:37+00:00

It's a shit test alright. Are you man enough to follow through and take what you want? I think she's practically asking you to just get in there and take it. Push past the soft no. You don't have to be disrespectful about it, you should keep it fun.

Option 1 is to give her the time she needs, then pounce on her with a "times up!"...pick her up and throw her on the bed.

Option 2 is to not give her the time she asks for, and instead reply with a "oh you're getting busy alright" as you start stripping her down.

You may get a hard no during either of these 2 options, in which case you just move on to the next thing like you DGAF.

UEMcGill · 2017-07-12T12:32:34+00:00

Iron rule #3

In MRP this correlates to do not let her schedule sex. It's not a shit test, it's a measure of her lack of attraction. Yeah sometimes shit is busy, and the moods not set, but in this case she is regularly blowing you off.

Like pavlov's dog and the dinging bell she's got you conditioned. You initiate, she gives you the "Oh I just need to do xyz". Then no sex. She's thinking "Well he didn't try again so that's one less thing I have to do"

Remember, women communicate covertly. Instead of saying "I don't want to fuck you" she says, "I've got shit to do" because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings and disrupt the social structure.

First step, be attractive.

Second step, don't be unattractive.

It's very simple, but the path is long and hard. Hit the gym, don't do beta shit, be a leader, learn how to game your wife; these are all things that help step 1 and 2.

discobolus_ · 2017-07-12T20:47:13+00:00

Do not "Address this behavior". You can not tell her what you want. You need to lead her to what you want. Women are cats.

PreRP, wife and I had been in a rut of 2.5x/week starfish for probably 6-10 years. And when I found mrp, improved my physique and quit acting like an additional child, wife's friskiness, orgasms, wetness, et al increased a lot when we did have sex.

But despite the obvious changes in her enjoyment of sex, she still carried a mindset that sex was twice a week, always 2 days between, always at night after the kids went to bed, etc. Basically, she so thoroughly bought into the rules she set for me (rules for betas!) that she couldn't mentally allow herself to break them, even when she wanted to.

The key for me - in addition to upping my attractiveness - was destroying the rut she had built up around sex with me in her brain. How you go about that depends on what the rut is.

I tried a lot of things, but eventually the thing that worked was to create a constantly flirty environment between us so that there wasn't an obvious "It's sex night and now I'm going to awkwardly try and warm you up" interaction. She never knows when or where that's going to come from. Other basics like initiating at different times of the day help, too.

But ultimately, blowing up our entire nightly watch TV and send the kids to bed rut, combined with the flirty vibe threw her mindset into a bit of chaos, and allowed her to re-establish what she would accept as normal. Now "normal" is that sex is OK anytime, no matter who is awake. No matter what day. She's still free to say no if she doesn't want sex, but she's not restrained by her old rules.

Change the dynamic between you and your wife. Observe how the way you two relate changes. Repeat. It is not a direct process.

Countpudyoola · 2017-07-12T13:20:12+00:00

She's treating it like an unspontaneous task or chore, because your initiation is probably either the same old same old that you always do (hence it's uninspiring, so she's going to prioritize it with the rest of her to-do list) or it's lacking in some other way.

If you're wanting or expecting more, you're going to have to put in the effort to inspire it.

ie. If you're coming in hot and heavy and she throws some cold water on it, you're either not as hot and heavy as you think or it's time to ignore and push past the lmr.

nooomaam · 2017-07-11T22:50:12+00:00

Think ahead, my friend. Let's say you'd like to get laid. Have you owned your shit? Does she have anything to do except be ravished?

Be pre-meditated about this, and you'll have outcome independence. THat will give you the confidence to deal with the shit test.

The scenario goes like this: I'd like to fuck my wife. Hmmmm.... what will stop me from doing that? Kids? Distractions? Her thinking she has obligations? Do I look good / smell good / taken care of shit, so she doesn't feel like she has to be in charge?

These questions usually let me come up with a list of shit I need to do, to make sure I'm in the clear. THen, I fucking take care of it. You don't ask her permission, you just take care of it.

Now, put on a movie or make those kids some food, and then get in there and put her face in the pillow.

InChargeMan · 2017-07-11T23:59:15+00:00

You're goddamn right she remembers. In business they say the easiest way to get somebody to leave you alone is to say yes, but not follow through. Salesman are taught to execute on the yes.

I suggest you take her "yes" as fact, act as if you fully expect her to be legit, then start actively doing something to "get ready". This way you aren't sitting there like a puppy waiting to go on a walk. For example, "Great idea, get that email sent! I've been thinking about doing XXX with you all day, we're gonna need some towels." Then proceed to get some shit together for the "event", towels, water, sex toys, whatever, just be busy while she is supposedly getting her thing done. This way you are on the same "team" working towards the goal. IF she tries to resist after that email is sent, then get more aggressive.

88Will88 · 2017-07-12T00:48:16+00:00

Are you lifting? If not forget about the sidebar and go to the gym. The sex will come back really fast when you start hitting the gym and falling in love with the idea of a new you. In the interim you need some moves maybe, are you kissing her passionately? Do you slap her ass and treat her like a sexy woman?

nooomaam · 2017-07-12T03:07:21+00:00

Excellent context here. You're not doing it for a reward. It's planning, premeditation, and removing obstacles from your path to the land of the split plains.

BobbyPeru · 2017-07-12T03:22:28+00:00

I used to get this shit test when I was about 9 months in. At first, it took me back, and I failed the shit tests by whining about her "stalling."

Later, I just took a DNGAF attitude, and would do stuff myself and still initiate after a bit. She pretty much stopped doing it after a few times.

creating_my_life · 2017-07-12T03:48:59+00:00

What's your height, weight, age, and estimated bodyfat? Hers?

The_Litz · 2017-07-12T09:02:27+00:00

Thrust your bayonet untill you get a hard no, treat anything up to a hard no as LMR.

nantucketghost · 2017-07-12T12:47:37+00:00

Tell her she'll have time when you're both done and finished...

If she does go off, tell her 5 minutes but come back with something sexy on. (don't ask, tell).

If she takes too long for your liking, just go grab her and carry her to the bed or couch or wherever. Or walk over to her kiss the back of her neck and start taking her clothes off.

Don't wait for her. Go get what you want.

spect3r · 2017-07-12T01:52:58+00:00

2 times a week? :/ Fairly lucky guy .... but if that's not what you're in it for, then increase your SMV (lift, be coy) and draw the attention. As the BPP says, command desire don't demand it.

Title	Not sure how to handle this?
Author	uma5674
Upvotes	8
Comments	18
Date	July 11, 2017 10:08 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6mpmhg/not_sure_how_to_handle_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/not-sure-how-to-handle-this.205885 https://theredarchive.com/post/205885

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