Writing this on a new account since my old one was blocked for some reason

I have been working on my MAP since January.

Here are my big 3:

• Improve my looks and physique (goals on lifts, drop to 10-12%bf, dress better)
• Better lead myself and be a leader in the house (take initiative in cleaning, repairs and with our dogs)
• Revert to having enthusiastic, and fun sex on a normal basis (twice a week would be fine).

I have maintained progress in fitness goals, close to under 15% bf, still muscular, and have upped my clothes game over the year (a few new items a month). I have been able to get alot of repairs done around the house and it is always clean.

My personals affairs are also more organized and getting better. The 3rd piece is the one I am having issues making progress on.

Sometimes I think I got it or I am getting it, I realize I am still as far away as when i first started. We have talked about it (not like "the talk" but just what has been going on with her physically since she might have an untreated cyst or a birth control ring affecting her hormones).

She is often stressed out about our future because "she has no sex drive right now" and she knows I am not happy with that aspect of our relationship and knows how important it is to me.

Through my reading so far (NMMNG, MMSLP, BoP, The way of the superior man, 7 habits of the alpha habits, and much more and trying to internalize it), I haven't really run into a situation where the girl is self aware and worried about me leaving her and still not doing anything. Its seems like passive dread is working in her mind but her body isn't feeling it.

I am wondering if anyone else ran into this and how you dealt with it.

I unintentionally drift between dread levels 1-8 (i am not going to wait to upgrade my wardrobe if there is a good sale, and sometimes shit tests arent always passed). Active dread definitely never works, but passive dread doesn't do me any favors as well.

It seems to spark guilt (and maybe 60 second compliance sex before it hurts too much for her), or create the anxiety but no action, or nothing at all and it goes unnoticed. Reading this back it sounds like a covert contract with dread (if I do this, I will get this result, and if it doesn't happen, I am mad).

Perhaps there is too much focus on dread being the result and not enough focusing on what I want and letting dread be a bi-product of me being a man. Where I struggle on goal #3 is whether or not it is fully in my control, with a possible medical issue at hand.

There was also a frame shift going on you should be aware of. When we started dating, she was completely in my frame, and life was good. Over time, denials, and my own personal insecurities put me 100% in her frame.

Now we are in a spot where I am in my own frame, or in the process of leaving hers. I have started to live my life as if I am single (if I need something done, I do it, and I maintain a full social calendar with or without the SO). This has helped me re-enter my own frame, but I probably will need more than that.

The sex thing has been a killer in so many ways for me, and its so hard to say I progressed when I feel like Im running in circles on my MAP with this goal.

*EDIT: Updated 7/22 8:51AM - Thank you guys so much for all the feedback. I wish my original messages were getting through a lot earlier so i could have gotten this advice a lot sooner. You all have been a tremendous help. I am going to adjust my MAP to all things that I can control, and really be stern about the medical issues and getting them fixed, along with staying on top of my game with lifting, reading and leading.

I am also picking up SGM and reading that, and am going to reread my other books I mentioned - Included the 12 stages, to make sure I am not messing it up.