Happy New Year Gents. Anyone have any resource recommendations on removing the need for validation outside of NMMNG? I've read The Way of The Superior Man, MMSLP, and When I Say No I Feel Guilty.

While overall life is pretty good, I find myself seeking validation way too much both in my relationship with my wife and life in general.

In general life, I am too focused on pleasing others and seeking approval. I have a decent social circle, hobbies, and strong career but all of these could be good be better if I operated from a place of more confidence and less need for validation and approval. Lifting has helped a bit and will continue to be a major emphasis, specifically back to strength training instead of hypertrophy.

In my relationship with my wife, I am way too focused on the quality/type of sex we are having. We have sex ~5x per week and BJs on shark week. I rarely receive hard no's and she initiates often. The sex isn't anything too crazy but it has been slowly improving as I've been lifting and added a bit of dread. I am realizing part of my issue may have stemmed from a porn addiction. About 6 months ago I made an effort to get a hold of this and it greatly diminished and it's been completely gone for a couple months now. I think I will be much happier and able to contribute to our relationship more meaningfully if I am able to stop putting the pussy on the pedestal and judging the relationship on sex acts. I'm having a hard time figuring out how much of kinkier sex is actually what I want vs. scratching my validation needs. Anyone been through something similar and have some advice?