So I've read MMSP by Kay and feel I've been applying a lot of that methodology already in my life. But I liked the part where he broke down the hamster wheel the best. I also lift heavy and a former college level athlete and semi-pro athlete. Working out has been a part of my life for decades. But I have a question about how I handled a situation brothers, and want to get some feed back on this and another issue I have.

I'll give a real world example first: I'm telling my wife about something that was important to me. It was the result of a match today that I was very interested in. She's a fan of the sport as well, and so it's not like I'm talking quantum physics to a monkey, she understands the sport fully. In the middle of me telling her, she just starts another conversation with another female about something irrelevant. Needless to say, irked me quite a bit. I stopped, left the room and carried in grabbing food and showering (I just got home from a brutal workout from my weightlifting gym) and proceeded to shower and out our kid to bed while she watched the Olympics. I had already seen the results and frankly don't care for gymnastics that much. She texts me why I'm being anti-social (her friend is in town, I'll get to that in a bit). I ignore, texting is for logistics and slight foreplay only. She eventually comes up stairs to ask me if I Want to watch the Olympics with her. Nope. Why are you mad. I'm not mad I tell her, I just think it's rude to carry on a different conversation when I'm talking to you like you have no regard for what I'm saying. It's rude and you need to stop. She says "whatever, I had something I needed to give her and we were talking about it". Still, it could have waited. I then proceeded to do what I needed to do.

Did I handle this right? This seems to more of an issue lately than in the past so I'm not sure how to approach it without seeming overly emotional like a woman.

The next issue is my wife and her male friend. They've known each other for over 20 years. I normally don't have an issue with this until a few months ago. We've been together for 16 years total and he's always been around and it hasn't bothered me. He doesn't live here, but he's here visiting. So, a while back - about a year and half ago - we had some marriage problems and sought marriage therapy to solve the issue. Having a kid to me is worth saving the marriage. I felt somewhat vindicated as the therapist took my side on most of the issues, but that's not the point. We both had things to work in and we did. It wasn't without trials though, and there was a period of a lot of fighting and arguments. Well during this time I had her old phone in my possession because she needed to transfer things off of it. I saw some texts she sent him stating she hated me, and was doing things I purpose to annoy me so I'd leave her alone. And...she sent him picture. Nothing scandalous or even showing cleavage. But pictures she hadn't shown me, selfies she sent only to him. I confronted her of course and told her that's completely inappropriate. Her justification was we were having a tough time. If you have issues you discuss it with me or me and the therapist, that's it. It some other man. I don't care how long you've known him, it's unacceptable and if it happens again have a lawyer handy. She saw my point, apologized and moved on. Still, while she's never given me a reason not to trust me, I am not a fan of him right now. Reading the texts he wasn't talking about me in a bad way, but he should have stopped it. Plus, women are fickle, let's be honest. The excuses I've heard from female friends and colleagues for cheating are nothing less than stupid. To that end, I don't want to tell her to stop a friendship - they've never been romantic - but I don't talk to him. I know they've never been romantic because she's always had long term boyfriends and he's been friend zoned a long time ago. Not sure what to do about this either.