Dealing with racist jokes and breaking frame

InSalts · 2018-05-08T04:33:57+00:00

Threaten to turn their sisters into single moms.

NexusReflexX · 2018-05-08T03:32:09+00:00

Im not black, but if i heard a comment about a black mans color, and he responded with some like

"Holy shit! Im black?? Why didnt my mom ever tell me?"

Id die laughing and befriend him.

Warthog_7 · 2018-05-08T02:55:47+00:00

Your frame is the interlocking combination of how you interact with people, who people view you as, and how you handle social situations. It’s not a breakdown of your frame to confront someone about making a racist joke, it’s a breakdown of your frame to let them make it and not say anything. The next time you’re around someone that makes a blatantly racist joke, just tell em straight away “you need to cut that shit. I aint a particular fan of that”. Short, sweet, to the point, and they really dont have a leg to stand on for you calling them out on it unless they want to be more racist. A solid 90% of people who make racist jokes just do it for the pun and usually cut it put if you voice your opinion on em. If the jackass in question is another guy, it’s a definite boost to your frame to assert dominance in such a way as saying you aint gonna stand for that shit. Just dont lose your cool. Let them lose it first, if at all.

JSP07 · 2018-05-08T04:46:59+00:00

"Good one buddy" in a patronising tone and then turn your attention back to the girls, should shut them up pretty easy.

wawakaka · 2018-05-08T03:17:52+00:00

you have to dominate them...with your brain. every interaction in your life is bit of chess match. you have to know when to hold them and when to fold them. know when to fight back and know when to run or do nothing.

just because someone says something does not mean you have to react. you always have to a choice to act or not act. (I got that from JUDGE MATHIS) I know too many black guys that get butt hurt too easily over what some douche bag says. And the DOUCHE BAGS do it to establish dominance over you and no guy wants to be dominated. Its just a cheap and easy way, in PUA terms to NEG someone, to knock them of their pedestal. In this case its you.

The key word is to DETATCH.

You have to be cool. If you going to let some words get the best of you in this day and age you gonna get shot. back in my day you duke it out or maybe you get knifed but today forget it. After all everyone is entitled to their opinion whether you like it or not.

BUT realize why people make fun of you. They feel threatened by you, you scare them, they feel inferior to you, they are protecting their teritory, they don't know any better, they are ignorant, they are mentally unstable,

to some degree you have already won but the moment you react to them you lose the game. If the guys are dangerous (like bikers and shit) maybe just walk away but if they are just average wankers then you take what they say and turn it into a positive. As they try to TEAR YOU DOWN, you have to BUILD YOURSELF UP.

heres an example of what i'm talking about from the movie Roxanne with Steve Martin https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=steve+martin+roxanne+big+nose

you can also learn to be ZEN like this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6OdbvopoE8&ytbChannel=null

read up on something called REBT rational emotive behavioral therapy. you realize that you feel bad only because of the rules you live by. LIke you might have a rule that says everyone needs to like me and when someone doesn't you get mad. REBT lets you rewrite those beliefs to something like "I may want everyone to like me but i do not need it to survive. I am strong enough to feel discomfort and pain and I will live through it."

It aint quick and easy but it is every effective to learn it. Also gets some good role models and see how they would act in that situation. cheers mate

alpha-zach · 2018-05-08T03:02:02+00:00

It’s a shit test.

Ignore. With cool confidence. Preferably a subtle glare.

Aa. Yeah I’m black as night.

Or Pressure flip. So you’re a racist? (They have to defend themselves and say no. This is qualifying and you look boss.)

Just don’t get crazy and angry with the pressure flip. Being Butt hurt over racism is very unattractive. It’s a reality. Deal with it with style.

PatnarDannesman · 2018-05-08T10:49:13+00:00

Turn around and imply what they say about black men's penises.

Do it subtly but funny.

mrHappyPotatoe · 2018-05-08T15:31:37+00:00

World would become too dull without racist jokes. World is full of different races different culture and so on. Everyone will make a joke on everyone. Ppl get so butthurt thesedays.

GayLubeOil · 2018-05-08T05:22:28+00:00

White people are the most verbal Race (produce the most literature) and as such verbally fucking with other men is a core of white masculinity. It's called banter. Your in a white country which means you gotta play by white rules.

If someone makes jokes about black people:

How's a black man like a bicycle? Niether work without chains.

You gotta make a racist joke back about white people.

This continues indefinitely until your bros. In fact it's a positive thing that they're making said jokes because it shows that they're comfort enough to want to play the banter game with you.

If you get upset in any way during a banter battle it's a show of inferiority.

LeftAndRed · 2018-05-08T04:35:53+00:00

I'm black too in a majority white area. Here are the best ways to stop it:

1) Lift. Seriously, other men will be much more polite.

2) NEVER AA, this just encourages them.

3) NUKE that shit, or pressure flip. My favorite pressure flip is to cringe, look at him like he's stupid, then ask him if he's trying to be funny. He'll say something like "its just a joke" and try to be all friendly and AMOGy, then tell him "you're kinda an idiot" and shake your head. Then turn your back to him literally cutting him out and showing disrespect. Say something to the girls/group along the lines of "You give some assholes one drink and all of a sudden..." roll your eyes and get back to your conversation. Most of the time they'll stand there for a few looking awkward then wander off wherever they came from. Watching him kick rocks is VERY satisfying.

4) Main point: be assertive when you nuke that shit, but shrug it off as soon as you can so you don't look butthurt. NEVER AA

MattyAnon · 2018-05-08T11:53:31+00:00

hile if I’m chatting up a group of girls some jackass will decide to make some degrading joke about my race in front of them.

Jealousy / trying to break your frame.

How do I go about brushing this off without breaking frame.

Ignore is one way.

Say nothing and look at them with no expression is another.

Say very slowly "What... did.... you .... just.... say?" They probably won't dare repeat it. If they do say it again, ignore and carry on.

But really, ignore it. They look bad, but you're outnumbered if you make it a race thing. There's lots of witty comebacks, but why wrestle with pigs when you can get on with chatting up some hotties.

dawgsen · 2018-05-08T05:57:30+00:00

Have the confidence to not bother. And i mean not at all. Going into judge others mode (which is stupid in most cases, but it builds an emotional wall ) and thinking about how pathetic and misinformed people are by playing the melanin card. It will give you that Rober Downey Jr. smile and people will call you arrogant, which will be a parameter of prove that you're on the right track.

Speaking from experience.

And as mentioned before, being jacked just silences a lot of male betas. So lift and just watch how people go mute when you enter the room. Trust me, it works.

Elitevaz · 2018-05-08T11:42:58+00:00

I see this more as an opportunity than a real challenge. Unless you are trying to chat with racist girls that like watching blacks get degraded.

germancarfan · 2018-05-08T15:09:04+00:00

How bad are these jokes?

I'm not gonna lie, I always make racially-based / stereo-typed based jokes on my black friends, indian, arab, muslim, white, it doesn't really matter. Even new people I meet, I'll tease them on shit. It's never malicious and they know that. It's how you say it vs what you say when your messing around with other dudes your age.

needless_pickup_line · 2018-05-08T15:13:19+00:00

I'm not white. It depends on what they say.

Something actually funny? Referencing a black twitter meme or something. Agree and amplify.
Ignorant but harmless? Like saying they're almost as tan as you or whatever. Acknowledge it and redirect. "Sure bro" They're usually just trying to connect with you and while you shouldn't encourage it, it's not worth making a scene about.
Someone making a low effort joke to get a rise. Just turn your back on them and roll your eyes. Girls are hypersensitive to this stuff and don't want to be part of the excluded group.
Actually offensive shit like racial slurs. I just turn and look at them directly without saying anything. If someone else in the group says something, I tell them to shut up and keep staring at the racist guy. Even after 5 seconds everyone gets uncomfortable. After about 10 or 15 they always cave and backtrack. "Uhhh sorry I was just joking."

My response. "No you weren't. Don't EVER say that to me again." Then you ice them out for the rest of night. The group follows suit and girls always apologize on his behalf afterwards. This response has been 100% effective for me.

***Groups of guys yelling slurs or throwing shit. Just ignore and keep walking. It's not worth it.

Bruchibre · 2018-05-08T10:09:15+00:00

How bad are the jokes?

Play along, look at the guy in the eyes and say "yeah and you know how black people are famous for being violent" that should calm them down

GREYnRED · 2018-05-08T10:32:10+00:00

I'm brown Have you ever been called " send Bob and vegene pics "in a group chat? Go for women of other races than white at least you'll have a chance.

Ubergeeek · 2018-05-08T06:30:16+00:00

What kind of racist joke we talking here? They just mentioning your race or saying straight up racist shit?

Nergaal · 2018-05-08T07:59:33+00:00

I can't pretend to know how is it to be in your shoes, but one thing I can say for sure: don't fight fire with fire. If for no other reason than a fourth person accidentally noticing it and opening an even bigger can of worms.

deville05 · 2018-05-08T06:45:40+00:00

GO BACK TO AFRICA!!

ComradeLeonTrotsky · 2018-05-08T02:56:19+00:00

It happens because they are threatened by you, and they need a way to defend themselves. You should honestly take that as a compliment, because that is the only way they can boost their self esteem infront of you.

niczar · 2018-05-08T13:33:16+00:00

Agree and amplify, use your big dick privilege.

sihitu123 · 2018-05-08T10:02:29+00:00

Better question is why are you even in a majority white area.

Even if you rail some of those whores, all you are doing is breaking social cohesion, no one would want a woman who just happened to fuck the one black dude in a hundred mile radius. Probably women know that themselves.

[deleted] · 2018-05-08T04:02:22+00:00

reverse it on them. so you are a racist? especially at work.

Title	Dealing with racist jokes and breaking frame
Author	1273518ahh
Upvotes	28
Comments	69
Date	May 8, 2018 2:39 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8htc2i/dealing_with_racist_jokes_and_breaking_frame/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/dealing-with-racist-jokes-and-breaking-frame.709 https://theredarchive.com/post/709

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