Does alpha widower exist? What to do about it?

Anasthaesium · 2018-12-20T12:03:41+00:00

This. Someone answer this.

Some women Do make us feel energised . This is not bullshit.

Is it worth pursuing them or no?

tacospitter · 2018-12-20T15:57:46+00:00

Who we search for and are attracted to is often a reflection of ourselves. It's important to ask yourself why you are drawn to a specific type of woman, because this is a great way to learn about yourself.

People (men and women) present three different strengths -- physical, mental, and emotional. You can be insanely attractive, smart, or wise. These things come together to form the basis of who you are.

If you are insecure about how you look, you will probably be drawn to physically-attractive women, since they validate your need to know you are also physically-attractive. You may be drawn to an exceptionally intelligent woman so you can have lots of intellectual conversations with her, and feel intelligent yourself (or maybe you like a dumb girl because they listen to everything you say, also validating your intellect!). You may be unstable emotionally, and attracted to repeatedly interacting with equally-unstable women, because you're addicted to the roller coaster of emotions you experience together.

Real connections are important. Sharing a real connection with a woman makes good sex great sex. The opposite is also true. Racking up countless numbers with women you don't care about can often leave you feeling empty.

I eventually focused on myself, and learned why I reacted differently to different women. I focused on improving myself as an individual, and found that the more balanced and successful I was, the more balanced and successful the women I pursued were, and subsequently the relationships we shared together.

Wanting to succeed (not 'settle') can be natural and healthy, or unnatural and unhealthy. It's important your friends learn more about who they are, so they don't waste time chasing women that perpetuate their own insecurities -- they will likely never meet a woman that actually fulfills them this way.

Quantum_Jiraiya · 2018-12-20T15:09:19+00:00

The point of unicorns is that they don’t exist.

Your ex was not your unicorn. Why?

She wasn’t yours. It is just your turn.
She wasn’t a unicorn. She is an attractive woman with an interesting set of personality traits. Don’t pedestalize your ex.

If you like your current girl, great! Calling your current girl lower value than yourself doesn’t seem like a great sign though!

You can enjoy your relationship with her, but stay on the lookout for someone you might be happier with. If you don’t find anyone, you might be overhyping yourself. Hot women date uglier men all the time. I’m not calling you and your friends uggos, but just because you dated someone hot does not immediately make you a hot, high value prize.

_Ulan_ · 2018-12-20T16:50:19+00:00

You're born from a loving parent (if you're lucky), and you'll die either alone, or with a kid you love (if you're lucky). There is no exit from this fate.

If you start hoping for something greater that that, you will be unhappy when life puts you back in place. If you live a RP life, you are ready to die at any moment, and your last though will be "I've reached for what I wanted to have".

All those people who believe that a unicorn will save them from being emasculated ,that a superhero will raise them into a man : They will die thinking "Shit I wish I had done differently"

You love your mum ? Have the balls to sit her down and tell her, don't sweat it. You're stupid enough to think a random human will fall in love with you, offer you comfort, watch you fall down into the shithole of lazyness and neediness ... and still have feelings for you ? That is just dumb.

Our ancestors didn't use to marry for love, they marry because they had to survive. It's an economical decision, and if you just think you are marrying a godess you are just very bad at business.

Kimdabrim · 2018-12-20T14:06:16+00:00

ur hamstering

vandaalen · 2018-12-20T11:02:38+00:00

http://archive.is/agtCP

http://archive.is/FaeIe

Velebit · 2018-12-20T12:25:45+00:00

You are not clear is the problem lack of attachment you feel because of a different attitude or is the problem that you select women who are not up to what you want and desire.

_the_shape_ · 2018-12-20T17:02:15+00:00

My friends however don't want to 'settle' and are still looking for a new unicorn.

This is like saying "No, I will not accept that Santa isn't real! I won't! I'll never stop looking!"

Not as delusional (because you can find an actual woman versus finding a flying morbidly obese bearded old guy), but it still comes down to an inability to accept (or even begin to inquire into) what is real, and what isn't.

How is this "alpha widower" situation solved?

Easy. The same way the whole "Santa" stupidity gets 'solved'.

By growing up.

Too long; too autistic to comprehend : stop looking for "unicorns". Women shit and fart and lie and cheat. Roll with their flaws or go cry for the remainder of your days with the adult-children incels.

kick6 · 2018-12-20T17:25:50+00:00

If you’re actually looking for a unicorn, you didn’t take the red pill, you just used it’s tactics to achieve your blue pill fantasy.

That being said, you can live a monogamous life in a red pill context, but certainly not if you think your partner is “the one”.

LaimbeerAdvocate · 2018-12-20T15:46:46+00:00

Can you explain what would make your current relationship a unicorn in your eyes?

HarleyWalker · 2018-12-20T17:58:00+00:00

It sounds like you took a few too many black pills and you're looking at things a bit too cynically.

Masonjarteadrinker1 · 2018-12-21T00:23:49+00:00

You still have Oneitis with that one girl.

UEMcGill · 2018-12-21T14:58:47+00:00

Women obsess about interpersonal functions, men obsess about physical functions. Your problem is you've figured out the cheat code on women.

What you need to do is figure out the cheat code on life, more specifically your life. What's your mission? Dig wells in the Uganda? Start a 2A foundation? Become a master welder? What ever you choose, let it become your obsession. Let nothing stop you from mastering it (as an aside a good book that highlight this is Shop craft as Soul craft).

We are men. We build. We create. Without the end results we are often left as feeling empty.

Now here's the bonus. A high quality woman will follow you into the gates of hell if you have a mission. She will be insanely loyal and attracted to you because you value your mission more than even her.

So what's your mission?

Enzo_renn233 · 2018-12-24T08:21:34+00:00

Never seen a post on here more relatable man . This is definitely something I have noticed as well

TheTrenTrannyTrain · 2018-12-20T13:03:12+00:00

That's your endowment effect and loss aversion talking.

Chadster113 · 2018-12-20T16:32:01+00:00

Hamstering oneitis.

DiscordantMonk · 2018-12-20T16:54:39+00:00

I'm my experience there's always someone younger, hotter, tighter, and more willing to please you out there somewhere. It's all about the vetting process when it comes to an LTR. I'm in a similar situation to you, and the vetting process is what made all the difference for me. Maintaining frame, OI, stay plan is the go plan are important for playing on hardmode.

Slim-Pickins- · 2018-12-20T17:12:08+00:00

Listen man, those “lower value girls” still follow the same AWALT spectrum as those “higher value girls”. Therefore, because AWALT exists as rule, NO EXCEPTIONS, the probability of a “unicorn” existing are as slim as a BP man leading a successful 50-year long marriage in today’s society. Don’t think for a second, that just because you are higher value than her, that if she, for whatever reason, views you as beta (fall into her frame, get unemployed, stop going to the gym and chasing excellence) that she won’t cheat, monkey branch, and/or zero you out. Even chads fall and can be betatized. That’s what the red pill does; is to give you the knowledge to not only be high value, but to help you prevent that switch in frames from happening.

To answer your question; does alpha widower exist? I don’t think so. I think with men that is just a flare-up of the BP conditioning of your former-self, in the form of Oneitis. Women can leave impact on you (similar to alpha impact on a woman), but the sheer fact that men actually increase in their SMV over time (able to attain as high value women as their youth, possibly even higher, over time), and women do the inverse opposite (unable to attain as high of value men as time passes), IMO, this factor has more influence as to why women become Alpha widows (which is almost impossible to reverse and treat once damage is done), and men do not (because all it takes it simply removing themselves from their BP conditioning to see their potential in the sexual marketplace moving forth). Therefore, Alpha Widowers do not exist, that is Oneitis.

Also, your friends (if they are redpilled) seem like they are almost becoming purple-pilled in the sense that they have become red pill aware, but are falling back to their BP ideals. Be careful of these guys. I would avoid them at all costs, because they are literally “giving up” and playing the Ignorance Is Bliss life-strategy when it comes to women (which can only result is either luck, or destruction as an outcome; all while while giving up complete control over incredibly controllable factors in the process).

Think about this.. If you are the sum of the five people you surround yourself with he most, are these the people you want to surround yourself with? It is hard enough to exit the BP paradigm on your own. To have others prevent progress in your life, and instill digressive mindsets and influence on you is making it harder for you than it needs to be. Put yourself in an environment that is most conducive to your success.

Title	Does alpha widower exist? What to do about it?
Author	serious_bs
Upvotes	43
Comments	50
Date	December 20, 2018 10:25 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/a7wkks/does_alpha_widower_exist_what_to_do_about_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/does-alpha-widower-exist-what-to-do-about-it.71142 https://theredarchive.com/post/71142

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