Going through fucking hell, LTR doesn't know

DeepRedTomato · 2017-06-27T12:41:59+00:00

This is what you have male friends for.

ThatGuyIam123 · 2017-06-27T13:08:48+00:00

Don't show any weakness to her.

Kommanderdude · 2017-06-27T12:55:55+00:00

As for the gym. Workout in the morning before you start work/internship/ school. Best decision I've made is working out before I start my day. Yeah sometimes I have to get up at 3am to make it happen but I cut out all the unnecessary stuff the night before and go to bed early.

[deleted] · 2017-06-27T13:03:57+00:00

She is the least of your worries. Focus on yourself

RPStone · 2017-06-27T15:50:23+00:00

This is what a therapist is for. Completely unload your problems on someone who gets paid to take it. Tell no one you're going.

kruxofthemimed · 2017-06-27T13:49:42+00:00

Make sure you are giving yourself adequate time to recover from the gym. Good amount of rest, and a lot of healthy food. If you aint gainin weight you aint makin gains

jm51 · 2017-06-27T17:40:48+00:00

You could cut back on the gym, say 3 times a week, because exams are more important right now. After August, get back to gym every day.

DisposableManifesto · 2017-06-27T20:40:21+00:00

I'll start with the most sensible (and easiest throwaway) advice: we are both strangers, so you know your situation best, consider seeking professional help.

Now my advice:

Structure: Work to a schedule (6am-10pm, Monday - Sunday) This is your todo list replacement.
Prioritise: Get your gym done first thing before work; go to bed at X o'clock on the dot; Plan your week on Sundays; Plan your day after the gym.
Refine: Automate/streamline/improve all aspects of your life continously e.g. Batch cook at the weekends; Optimise your commute (consider audiobooks); Improve your sleep.
Diet: Veg (lots), Water, Meat...avoid much else...especially processed.
Talk to friends
Get out more often: Include this in your schedule, keep 2 - 4 evenings where you do something sociable and detached from work, or drinking. E.g. a sport, games night, etc

Good luck!

trp_qna · 2017-06-27T16:30:57+00:00

Had to jump in because the rest of the advice you're getting is so shitty. Not talking to your LTR about whats going on in your head is like getting a blowjob without getting your balls licked--you're missing one of the best parts.

First off, what you're going through has nothing to do with weakness you moron. You're an above-average intelligence guy being asked to perform soulless, repetitive, boring work, surrounded by people who are not interesting to you. No wonder you're having a melt down, anyone with a brain would be. (Dumb people get bored a lot less, have you noticed?)

Having someone to talk to who you trust, like your GF, might actually help a lot more than you realize. A therapist is great, too, if you have time/interest in that. But once you stop seeing your boredom as weakness maybe it'll be easier to talk to your GF about it. I get more out of the emotional labor of women around me than I ever do out of therapists, and I don't have to pay them. If your GF can't handle hearing you're frustrated at work, then she's doing you a favor because get out of that relationship. That's not someone you want raising kids with your genes--that's how you get nervous crazy kindergarteners who act out for attention because mommy's not listening to them at home.

Anyway it is way easier to talk to anyone (your GF or whoever) about your problems if you feel like you have a plan to solve them, so for that I recommend keeping in mind this: When you are going through a difficult situation that you can't change, you can still change how you feel about it. Lots of people use religion for this (it's not my thing but no judgement). Example situation: Your child dies of a terrible illness. There's nothing you can do to bring that child back, and you're sad, understandably. However, If you believe in God, maybe you can make yourself feel better by saying "My child is in angel in heaven with God now."

The good news is that the situation you're in, while shitty, is not a "my kid is dead" sort of situation. (Don't worry, you're young still and you'll have plenty of bad shit that happens to you that will make boring internships look like a trip to Six Flags.) So the trick to surviving this summer is going to be changing the way you FEEL about the internship. Go make a list of the 5 best things about the internship tiny stuff, big stuff, whatever. (Stuff like "free lunch on Fridays" or "will look really good on my resume" or literally anything you actually like about it.)

Next, do something different. Your brain is going nuts with boredom. Do something you don't do often, that uses part of your brain/skillset/interests that you don't get to use a lot. Play a musical instrument, read a novel (fiction) or paint a picture. Go to the beach and build a sand castle. It sounds stupid but you need to remind yourself that the other parts of your brain are still there and still working. It will make the rest of your life tolerable. You're the top of the food chain on planet earth and the crap you have to do day to day is way beneath your intelligence and your brain is chewing on the bars trying to escape the cage. Do something NEW, whatever it is. Don't pick something that could be directly "useful" to your internship or exams.

Once you do this stuff you'll start to come out of your spiralling depression and it'll be easier to talk to your girlfriend and be like "God I've really been going through it these last couple weeks," and you'll find out that she's probably really gonna be happy that you told her and, yes, TURNED ON. Women want to be with smart, creative men, and seeing them struggle to succeed is actually a big positive indicator. Also, women like to feel like they can make that stress better, often through the distribution of infinity blowjobs in my experience. Admitting you are having a hard time is not the failure--keeping it to yourself and mentally exploding is. The cool thing about admitting you have needs is that it turns out you can frequently get them met. (In my experience, women sure do like helping you out in this regard. If your girlfriend isnt one of those girls you can find out who is in about 5 seconds.)

One last thing: Your dad sounds like an asshole, sorry. Good news is that your girlfriend does not want to fuck your dad. Be better than that shit: man up, admit what's going on, and collect your endless blowjobs.

PunkYetii · 2017-06-27T15:51:58+00:00

Your stressed out.

Keep going man, your testosterone is probably in the shitter right now. Focus on eating right, sleep, the gym and keeping your stress down and getting your testosterone back up.

Stress is relative, you won't be where you are forever, career, school, stress etc. Remember that. Work towards the end.

But for real, stress kills your T, at least in myself it does, which compounds the issue. It fucking sucks.

LordThunderbolt · 2017-06-27T16:52:33+00:00

Break up with her and handle your shit. Any sign of weakness from the man is poison to a LTR. Do not trust her ever to have your back when you're down. Focus on your life.

TopOfTheEighth · 2017-06-27T15:12:30+00:00

It's not her job to be your emotional tampon.

throwitdownman · 2017-06-27T16:56:27+00:00

How do you know the LTR doesn't know? Girls smell weakness. Coincidence she is going away for two weeks? I'm not trying to make you paranoid (you have enough to worry about) but spitting facts. Brace yourself.

Plus no sex for two weeks when you're at rock bottom mentally? Yikes.

NexusReflexX · 2017-06-27T17:15:22+00:00

It seems like you want some support, especily from your girlfriend.

IF and only IF you know your the best man in her life right now, you can subtly ask her for support.

Invite her over, and just enjoy her company. Say what you want to say through your actions, not your words. You seem pretty stressed, amd to me its the girls duty to help you destress, thats why your with her.

Im not saying rely on her.

But invite her over, and be very passionate. Give her a kiss and a hug amd just hold her a little longer then usual. This will help, i promise.

If she asks "whats wrong" which im sure she will, simply state, "just a little stressed, nothing i cant handle" and enjoy her company. Dont burden her with your problems, instead enjoy her company and her yours for being a strong man.

Being alpha doesnt mean never being stressed or never giving a fuck. Being alpha means you got shit going on in your life. Mostly hard, tough, draining shit, but with the strength to not let it control you.

Lay your head on her lap when u watch a movie. Love her however you want, maybe a little more gentle then you normally do, or rough, whatever your in the mood for. This is an ltr right? You dont need to be alpha 24/7. Anyone who says you do is wrong. But dont go so overboard that you depend on her to console you like a mother would.

When you lay your head, dont even makebit a big deal. Look up at her and just goof around. Start wrestling. Whatever it is. Just have fun

Bear-With-Bit · 2017-06-27T22:18:16+00:00

I'm not in engineering, so I don't have direct knowledge. However, if you're preparing for your Professional Engineer licensing exam, I hear that is very difficult, since it is the gold standard for engineers. If that is true, then here is my order of priorities for you:

1) Personal Discipline - to stay healthy physically & mentally.

2) Studying for Exam - devote as much time as you can here.

3) Internship - this is tricky, depending on how important this internship is to starting your career.

4) Other shit, like finances, hobbies and socializing.

5) LTR.

This is make-or-break time for you. Why the hell are you so concerned about a person who can easily drop you any moment? Go on a break with her and focus on yourself and your to-do's.

DadOnDabs · 2017-06-27T23:05:47+00:00

Depending on how long you've been dating you might be able to tell her. 3 months - no. 1 year or more - maybe... if she is the supportive type.

Tbh you need a good male friend to vent to. Then you need to write down all of the good that will come out of what you are doing. If your job makes you that miserable then find another.

As for energy to work out order amped pre-workout. It's made by steel products. It's expensive but you only need a half scoop so it's double servings. Best pre I've ever had.

DiggerClam · 2017-06-28T01:05:12+00:00

Why are you trying to do 9 million things at once?

Pick one, go hard, become good pick another one.

You'll probably burn out and fail at everything doing it this way.

trpthrowaway2003 · 2017-06-28T01:30:47+00:00

I feel like you have your priorities wrong, and it's fucking with your head.

You are at a time in your life where you need to focus on yourself, and not a relationship that likely won't even last.

How you let her down is up to you.

I personally wouldn't be a dick, but just tell her that you don't have room in your life for an LTR.

It's simple, honest and probably the best thing you can do for yourself right now.

No need to go into the sob session of your issues, that will only diminish your frame. Just tell her it's personal and not to take it personal.

BlueBlus · 2017-06-27T23:12:29+00:00

When you're going through hell keep on going brother.

Title	Going through fucking hell, LTR doesn't know
Author	theredpill22
Upvotes	19
Comments	53
Date	June 27, 2017 12:33 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6jsd3h/going_through_fucking_hell_ltr_doesnt_know/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/going-through-fucking-hell-ltr-doesnt-know.93269 https://theredarchive.com/post/93269

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