Here's the truth.

ChiefBigLeaf · 2015-10-05T14:15:54+00:00

Uninstall WoW, it's gonna suck, but you need to. I used to get sucked into playin LoL for at least a few hours daily, longer if I felt like shit and didn't wanna face reality and would rather escape.

Then sidebar, more lifting, more martial arts, masculine hobbies, self improvement, practice approaches, find healthy social environments, and stop worrying about women.

Archwinger · 2015-10-05T14:23:35+00:00

You improve your social game the same way you improve your body. You do it each day, progressively upping the challenge.

There's always plan B. Post a warning to us, then go shoot up a university. But I recommend practicing social skills instead. You won't stop caring about rejection until you've been rejected 5,000 times in a row. Make a game out of it. See how many times you can get rejected in a day and try to beat that tomorrow. Try to get rejected in the most creative and unique ways possible.

FatGirlsInPartyHats · 2015-10-05T14:31:02+00:00

I wish I could blame women for all the things I'm angry and depressed about. But I can't. I expect more of myself, and I know that I am not incapable of anything realistic.

This shows you aren't hopeless. However, you are in a VERY dangerous spot. Never having sex, a girlfriend, etc. at your age can lead to the first time you DO experience those things you're going to be hit with one-itis (the thought that she's special and you focus all of your time and energy solely upon her) very hard. I'm not sure how TRP community as a whole will respond to what I'm going to advise but this has been my experience and it's been overall pretty positive.

Here are some basic steps that are required to get you from where you are to (closer) to where you want to be.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You haven't earned nor have you destroyed anything. It's time to realize age 25-40 is your prime when it comes to women.
Keep lifting. It increases sexual attractiveness and maintains/builds confidence.
Read the 48 laws of power. This book will tell you (almost) everything you need to know about how people think and operate either consciously or subconsciously.
Accept that YOU WILL FUCK UP. It's going to happen. You can only self-actualize, correct what you believe you did wrong and keep trying. The biggest failures is giving up before you've begun (which is where you're at, currently) or giving up the second you don't get the desired result (which will happen for a while).
Talk to everyone, everywhere. I'm talking about the line at starbucks the grocery store, whatever. You're going to be nervous as fuck at first so just crack one or two quick lines about something pointless just to show that people, in general aren't bastards. This is the PRIMARY way to break your social awkwardness. Don't be put off by people who aren't receptive to random chit-chat, it's their social awkwardness and hangups coming out, not yours.
Go to a bar, club, pub that you have no intention of ever frequenting. Talk to people, male, female, everyone. Be calm, upbeat and assertive without overbearing. Go alone. People are there to have a good time and as long as you don't ruin that for them they'll often be mildly receptive to engage with you.
Once you're socially comfortable find a place or two to frequent where people know you. Build acquaintanceships, give very little real information about yourself. Be fun, mysterious and consistent (this is all covered in the 48 laws of power).
People are going to naturally be drawn to you if you keep this up, including women. You aren't allowed to be in a relationship until you've banged at least 3 different women in a 3 month time-span. You aren't allowed to bang the same woman more than three times in one month, period, exclamation point. You simply aren't ready and will become emotionally attached.

Realize changing some deep-rooted shit about yourself will take a lot of time. It's going to be painful, uncomfortable, terrifying and at times disappointing... but you are already all of those things as I'm typing this. On the flip side it will also be fun, thrilling and if you do it right the best time of your entire life.

One final bit of advice: When you DO start banging you MUST wear a condom every single time. No excuses. No babies, no STDs. Women will lie about both.

davevd · 2015-10-05T14:23:06+00:00

First of all... You're 26, you have a lot of fun to look forward to, one of those fun things is learning about women (for example how to attract them), you'll learn about not putting all of your eggs in one basket, that when it comes to attraction... 'All Women Are Like That', meaning once you've learnt the rules and how to play the game, getting laid becomes more like a... Game.

Remember, 'Men are forged, it's the privilege of lesser men to light the flame'.

Like many men here, they only changed out of absolute necessity. Try to embrace the necessary change as you read the various required reading.

Oh and for the love of Jebus... Kick any addictive games such as WoW forever. What a waste of time.

Fumblz · 2015-10-05T14:31:03+00:00

Its gaming really and bad habits.

I was like you playing WoW and Counter-Strike for 7-8 years of my high school and college days and realized how much i missed out on because of it. Shit got serious and i had to sell all of my gaming shit.

Recently got myself back on my feet so i bought a ps4.... 2 weeks later i put it on craigslist because i realized how much of a waste it was. I get it. Gaming was a release for me but there are so many better things out there than playing a game that has no benefit.

I was stuck in a rut just like you and still dealing with it but what helps you get over the hurdle is doing things you've never done before. Start small like taking a walk down a different street or go read something on a bench in a park.

Start to enjoy the little things. I now understand gaming got in the way of that.

LukeMooney · 2015-10-05T15:21:01+00:00

improve yourself or kill yourself. fuck you and your shit life. create a life worth living - all the tools are already in the main sub - every aspect - hobby - diet - gym routine - everything is there for you - read it and make your improvements. You can do it, you can do it, you can do it!

I'll give you one practical tip because you're a bro. When you wake up in the morning search in youtube "les brown motivation" on your phone - click on the first playlist - let it play outloud whilst you complete your morning routine.

ok one other tip, stop jerking your stupid dick. From now on - you don't jerk.

That's it, now go in to the world and do your thing. I have faith in you, you were able to put your neck on the line by making this post - no doubt a very difficult thing to do; - pressing that final "save" button - coming back here and refreshing every 2 minutes to see what people said, sweating. If you have enough courage to do that - you have enough courage to take the advice given to you and do the things you already know will improve your life. You can do bro, you can do it.

R984 · 2015-10-05T16:19:17+00:00

You already got lots of good advice but I don't think they are going to work.

The problem with many people and most of all people in this subreddit is that they see life as a challenge. They will tell you that you need to lift, improve, unistall WoW, go to a club and talk to random people. Those are good advice but the problem is that you can't go to a club and talk to random strangers if you are a introvert person. You will never find the strenght to do something that is contrary to your nature. Also you won't uninstall WoW if that game is your only source of pleasure.

Your post is kind of confused: you throw in a lot of informations like videogames, jobs, career, friends, girls, the gym and sports in general... but I think you need to focus on one problem at a time.

The thing that strike me the most is the fact that a 26 years old man with an athletic physique and a good job is unable to build a romantic relationship with another human being (man or woman).

I don't think we are talking about TRP here. I think (and thats a personal opinion, anyone is free to disagree) that TRP is useful for people who have been through a romantic relationship and got burned by it, so they come here to call their values into question. (I know it's a generalization)

So, if you like to have an exchange of views, I need to know exactly what is that prevented you from having sex and having a girlfriend for the first 26 years of your life, given that you are young, have a good job and a good physique?

I ask you because I'm introverted as fuck, I never talk to women, I never even acknowledge their presence but still I had my gfs and and fuck a random girl now and then, so I need to understand what are we talking about here.

feminazis_stalk_me · 2015-10-07T10:55:17+00:00

READ THIS and be ready to learn some hard truths about yourself.

Thesegates · 2015-10-05T17:12:48+00:00

Here is the truth of what I see:

I see a man, that for whatever reason, doesn't love himself. He hates himself. And so you use your "want" to love a woman as a way to direct your love and escape, just as much as you use WOW. What is it about yourself that you don't love? Serious soul searching my man. This is the time to go stand at the top of a mountain and figure out every single detail in your mind. Then, tackle those things one by one.

e.g. "I don't love myself because I am not in the shape I want to be in."

"I don't love myself because I am doing a job that I hate 40 hours a week."

"I don't love myself because my eyes aren't this color."

"I don't love myself because I have a micropenis."

Whatever the case may be, figure all of these things out. Then take that list and discern between what you can and cannot change about yourself. Work to change the things you can on that list, and then start loving yourself. Do something you love and be something you love. You don't love WOW, it's as much an escape tool as masturbating.

throw_em_all · 2015-10-05T14:57:03+00:00

Go out as much as you can, talk to everyone, start a conversation and if someone looks at you like you're a weirdo, smile and swallow that awkwardness.

As an ex WoW player, believe me when I tell you that social interactions and game overall is the same as a Raid, you know what you're up against, you go to the interwebz for strategies and tips on how to beat it, once you get there you will wipe, over and over, until you know every single second of the fight, then you're calibrated enough to know how social environments move around you.

MeatCurtainRod · 2015-10-05T15:53:45+00:00

Believe me when I say; been there done that. Uninstall WoW. Then come up with a list of hobbies and clubs you want to become a part of. Then join their meetings and social circles. Get out there and throw away the crippling factors in your life. That is the first step. And while continuing to swallow theredpill, you will grow/evolve and eventually get laid.

M3_Drifter · 2015-10-05T17:39:03+00:00

I feel so stupid for wanting love

What you want is the security/safety from knowing you have secured someone who will go through life with you and help you when the going gets tough. Everyone wants that. I know people who are literally on the verge of suicide if they are single.

But, I have zero social skills. Even with "Friends" I tend to freeze up - I'm very much an introvert.

It's like learning to walk. You are going to fail a bunch, but there is only one way to improve, and that is to get out there and be social. Like /u/MeatCurtainRod says, join a bunch of clubs and figure out what you like. Even when you fail, keep going. Make friends. Get invited to something, meet more people, etc...

rurpe · 2015-10-05T18:33:34+00:00

You need a new hobby, one that involves interacting with people in the real world. Choose something that you want to do, do not focus on women, but make sure women are naturally around your hobby. For example, don't quit WoW and then pickup MtG.

Look for something like coed sports. Your city likely has many different sports to choose from. Then start going with the intention of playing the sport and "meeting" people. don't pressure yourself to be there to find a new friend or a gf, just go out and have fun. Practice your social skills.

After you have had some practice, you will notice that is gets a lot easier to just talk to people, then you can start setting other goals (asking for girls number, asking out for drink, etc).

heavydickus · 2015-10-05T21:30:04+00:00

I don't know how to help with your introvert personality but with your virginity troubles - FUCK TEN PROSTITUTES. Thats how i started. Fuck as many prostitutes as it takes for you to get good in bed, then when you know that you can destroy any pussy that comes your way you'll just naturally ooze sexual energy. its like having a special trick up your sleeve that you can pride yourself on. Another good thing about fucking prostitutes is that you dont feel so caught up in the rat race of getting pussy cos you know you are in 100% control of your pussy potential. If you feel you cant stoop to such a low level to pay for sex just remember ALL RICH MEN DO IT. (seriously they do.)

MarlboroMan62 · 2015-10-05T23:39:33+00:00

you have excellent advice in this thread. i was a horrible introvert, you would not recognize me today.

the only thing i could add to the excellent advice already here is you talk to every sumbitch you meet. from the bank to the grocery store. from every supermodel 10 to every cum-coughin, herpe-lippin crack whore. from every elderly war veteran gentleman to every elderly jewish lady. from from every banker/business man to every cocky college frat boy.

you will find most people will be cordial and affable, and the laws of probability will present that you will run into a few snippy jerks here and there. but that's ok, because you dont give a fuck.

"I missed 100% of the shots that I never took" - Wayne Gretksy

Okeseko · 2015-10-06T17:14:57+00:00

You have really good advice on this thread.

I was like you when I was 17 year old. I was introvert and shy as fuck, played a lot of video games and was still a virgin. It was a dark time of my life and I was very depressed I even contemplate suicide. I glad I didn't do it because life have been a lot better since then. Here are some tips for you:

It's all in your head! Once you change your belief system all will fall in place. Cut video games and porn/masturbation. It fucks up your dopamine/serotonin neurotransmitters and make you even more depressed. Sleep more, eat healthy and exercise. Read about Game and practice. This will be your new video game! Read a lot of self-improvement.

Most people doesn't care about your insecurities. They are too worried about themshelves. You're still young. Work yourself everyday and results will come. It may take months or even years. But it'll worth it.

Title	Here's the truth.
Author	Obsidianic
Upvotes	6
Comments	17
Date	October 5, 2015 1:57 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3nkqav/heres_the_truth/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/heres-the-truth.154766 https://theredarchive.com/post/154766

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