How do I react towards LTR after her annoying me?

53blazer · 2020-07-12T23:49:57+00:00

Didn’t do anything wrong, if she can’t fill your time slots then it’s her fault

eatdiz135 · 2020-07-13T02:53:11+00:00

Doesn’t take a genius to figure out she’s in the wrong.

She’s your LTR and is obligated to respect your time. They can act dumb and clueless all they want but they know what they did wrong.

Apply dread until she makes it up to you. Remember talk is cheap, we want to see some tangible actions otherwise she’ll see this sort of shitty behaviour as acceptable.

kclanton80 · 2020-07-13T03:05:57+00:00

She knows what she did wrong but is trying to weasel out of it. You should ignore her until SHE brings up the missed call and offers an explanation. If it is t a suitable one..... consider nexting her.

There's no good reason she went radio silent when you had.a.call.arranged. I would be seriously wondering what she was doing, and why she didn't at least text you.

SpringsSoonerArrow · 2020-07-13T04:47:53+00:00

Dude, you have been given a great response from u/bluzzkill:

You tell her "my girlfriend does not waste my time by making plans, ignoring my call and saying nothing about it and making no effort to avoid me eating my time. I won't bring this up again."

Don't go all touchy-feely. They don't respect that shit at all, especially when they fucked up.

Edit: You have to be hard ass with them on this. Look her in the eyes when you say this. She needs to understand that YOU ARE A KING not to be fucked with.

Project_Zero_Betas · 2020-07-13T02:15:59+00:00

Wtf are you having a video date with your LTR?

thatbadrogue2 · 2020-07-13T07:01:26+00:00

she misses you after 12 hours? are you sure you're in an LTR or a fwb situation? You don't live together, you manage to get irate after a missed phone call, and can't communicate through a super highschool-level issue.

If you need to ask how to respond, and how to deal with this matter- you aren't ready for an LTR. You're still figuring things out which is fine, but she's managed to manipulate every one of your emotions most likely unknowingly. She missed a fucking facetime, get over it. You probably aren't the most important thing in her life. Grow up buttercup. She literally could've been cooking dinner, out with a friend, on the phone with her 34th best friend...or playing with her dog.

"I was all impressed with how punctual I was with last night's facetime too, what a shame." would've been a decent start. Now you're kind of just acting like she's a tinder match that ghosted your pickup line and you're acting immature.

Imho I'm more appaled than anything you tried to schedule a facetime with your 'girlfriend' than anything. I mean it goes both ways with her too. I hope you don't plan out your sex positions too- like idk.

TravisScottNL · 2020-07-13T10:55:01+00:00

Don’t tell her if you’re upset. She didn’t even apologize lmaooo. Start soft nexting her often and dread game

Bruchibre · 2020-07-13T05:25:51+00:00

throwitdownman · 2020-07-13T06:04:43+00:00

Good question, but terrible advice. The fact that OP is only replying to terrible advice means more arguments, and drama will follow.

Really unfortunate.

mt_phoenix · 2020-07-13T12:50:44+00:00

You did the right thing treating her more like a plate (not picking up, short texts, etc.). The only thing that needs improvement:

She knows I am annoyed.

You shouldn't be, or at least you shouldn't act like you are. The frame is this: you're busy, you have stuff to do, you can make time for people who respect / deserve your time. Be upbeat and cool, you ain't annoyed, you're busy.

jusssay · 2020-07-13T14:05:59+00:00

She has done this before and you warned her already, now there is no need to recommunicate what you have already told her, that's weak. She is seeing if you have the balls to do something about it.

Girls have a constant dread of losing those they respect/value. If she did, she would have called you apologising. Also note the mistakes on your part, all these behaviours should've been uncovered before you made her an LTR.

When she's hinting for the commitment that's when you let her qualify through good behaviour and lowkey outline your boundaries. If she failed, she'd still only be a plate at best. This is what the upgrade process is for.

Lastly, do not set a time to call a girl, let her know what time she can call if she "wants". If she does good, if she doesn't, she doesn't value you and so you reevaluate. For now either soft next or demote to plate, then maaaybe let her requalify.

Good luck bro.

goofballgorilla · 2020-07-13T03:43:25+00:00

Try being a man and telling her straight up that your time is important and if she plans on wasting it again the door is open.

Stunning222 · 2020-07-13T05:16:16+00:00

Keep in mind all women will pull this shit. There's probably a 50/50 chance she doesn't even know what's going on.

I personally would retract any effort and see if she picks up 100% of the slack. If she does, i'll come around. If not, making moves to move on

cydestiny · 2020-07-13T15:44:18+00:00

You called her your LTR but you seems like a plate to her.

You don't react, you take action on what suits you most.

Heck even if the right thing now is break the relationship, even if we told you that, would you do it?

Go balls deep and learn how to vet your next LTR

moto101 · 2020-07-13T17:40:27+00:00

Who cares? You're annoyed when you should not give a fuck about it.

Are you annoyed because your hamster is starting to go crazy wondering what she might be doing at 8 when she's supposed to be face timing you?

You brush this shit off and meet your girl in person. She can facetime with her girlfriends.

TheNincro · 2020-07-13T04:47:57+00:00

This isn't a big deal... like at all.

The fucks going on here?

CasaDeFranco · 2020-07-13T03:11:24+00:00

If she's an outstanding partner otherwise, and she has good reason for standing you up like, I live in South Africa and they have load shedding, or my father broke his leg and I took him to an emergency, then sure.

If she simply fell asleep or missed it because she was doing something else, that level of disrespect reflects she doesn't value you, your relationship, nor your time.

I once slept through a date because I worked all night for a project, I apologized, lined up a reschedule, and took my partner somewhere nice. Without such, I would end the relationship and date someone who can deliver this low threshold.

I would keep it concise, terminate the relationship politely, and arrange a third party to pick up your things.

Leonardslemons · 2020-07-12T23:59:05+00:00

Two sides to every story, she probably has a valid reason why she skipped out on the video chat date. Ask her what happened. Tell her you understand and explain to her how it made you feel. Tell her what you'd appreciate in the future.

Its that simple.

McLovinReturns · 2020-07-13T00:22:26+00:00

She might be talking to someone else and was doing that or she had a valid reason. Call her up make some small talk and meet in person. Tell her "We talked about this last time but you still disrespected me and I'm looking for a girl that respects my time and communicates to me if plans are going to fall through, its over between us" This is a pure power move it shows you don't mess around and have other options. Two things will happen. If she's messing around with another guy she's going to go quiet and play victim. The other option is if she is LTR material she will cave in and cry telling you what was happening that night and apologizing to you. If she apologizes than say "You're going to make it up by riding me tonight until you can't walk" smirk when you say this and give her a hug as comfort but don't say anything. If she says "I love you" you don't say it back. Best of luck and hold your ground cause if she can't apologize for disrespecting your time especially for a second time than she ain't LTR

Title	How do I react towards LTR after her annoying me?
Author	thww333
Upvotes	24
Comments	87
Date	July 12, 2020 11:45 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/hq4pew/how_do_i_react_towards_ltr_after_her_annoying_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-react-towards-ltr-after-her-annoying-me.712624 https://theredarchive.com/post/712624

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