How do you build a personality

xeroblaze0 · 2018-06-12T03:49:11+00:00

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie and The Like Switch by Jack Schafer. Probably the most important books you'll ever read/audible.

KingRead · 2018-06-12T05:04:38+00:00

I wrote this with workplace in mind but it applies everywhere.

1) start off small by planting seeds. For example at work, you start talking with one guy first, he mentions his dog he just got. Short conversation. But next time you see him, ask about the dog, ask if it's a smart/dumb/hyper dog.

You can now always ask him about his dog, and eventually he will share more activities he did with his dog, so you can ask about those too

2) stop feeling like you're intruding, you can always add to a conversation as long as you're comfortable about it and clear. For example, you're in line at Walmart and the couple infront of you are talking about the long wait, you can add in and says 'they should really add more cashiers'.. Bad example but you can always add to conversations if you have value to share.

3) Mondays/Fridays - ask if they have plans for the weekend or how their weekend went. You'll often learn about people's hobbies and you can always make connections from there

4) don't be afraid to start a conversation with a story first if you feel the other person would enjoy hearing it. For example, say you know your coworker loves cars, you can start a convo with him by sharing your story about how 5 lambos just zoomed past you on the highway yesterday and how you saw them pulled over later and you saw the young drivers shitting themselves.

5) banter is suppose to be stupid. No real direction. Stop expecting any outcome from banter. Just saw whatever makes you smile, be confident that you're funny

6) sports are always an easy go to for banter, just don't lose focus of your priorities

7) stand up comedy is good so you learn what kind of humour you enjoy and what makes most people laugh

8) smile and hold the door open, be generous to people. If you look comfortable, people will make banter with you and feel more comfortable around you too

9) observe other people and what they banter with, learn from them and what topics are safe in your workplace

10) here's an incentive for you, and I can confirm this based on my own experiences. If you become sociable all day long - even just talking to guys all day--as long as you've practiced your talking muscles, you'll have it that much easier talking to girls if you go out the day.

You can't possibly believe that someone can be quiet all day and suddenly open a stranger and have a good outcome. You need to be talkative all day, even if you start off awkward and short convos only. It's a small price to pay for the the prize that you want to become.

909throwaway100 · 2018-06-12T05:59:45+00:00

Personality is defined as five traits : extroversion, conscientiousness, openness, agreeableness and neuroticism.

Focus on being more extroverted and conscientious and being less neurotic.

What you are talking about seems more like a social identity and ability.

It boils down to your actions, body language and words you say. The red pill gives you guides of all of these.

In short what you say to women should follow a DARE not DEER format. Body language should always be relaxed and with maximum space occupancy. Make eye contact with people. Behave rationally, weigh up pros and cons of every behaviour to your career success/ personal value.

That’s a start but other sources on red pill sidebar go into way more detail.

7alfamale · 2018-06-12T04:50:56+00:00

fake it until you make it, read books about social interactions, as listed above. But the most important thing id that you have to fuck up. Also, get yourself some real male friends who are good with girls, you'll get on the same vibe with them. And once they leave you you'll find that you gaines a lot (but still, failing, and learning the amused mastery is the best way )

carb0ncl1mber · 2018-06-12T09:51:11+00:00

Try improv classes

it_takes_the_redpill · 2018-06-12T09:54:51+00:00

Legos

comcain · 2018-06-12T11:13:23+00:00

Logos?

Herdsengineers · 2018-06-12T16:25:01+00:00

This is just a skill that takes time to develop if you're not a natural. Hell, I'm not a natural. The biggest thing I've found though is to get out of my own headspace and not give a shit. I tend to be a bit of an autist naturally, always taking everything people say on face value, and just responding directly. When I make myself get out of that mind mode and focus instead on not just being a direct response machine, but joking around and giving them a bit of shit (within limits of being playful and fun, not being a dick), my inner banter comes out pretty easy.

So the key is to not take everything seriously, and reprogram that it's okay to take more situations non-seriously than you have up to this point in life.

NextForever · 2018-06-12T17:30:51+00:00

Pray to Satan

VillainyUnchecked · 2018-06-12T11:13:49+00:00

Play to your strengths... if you do not know what those are then burn some time taking a few personality tests (the 'real' psychological ones and the girly internet ones ripped out of the back of cosmo)... when you hit upon something that seems to have a kernel of truth, confirm with a trusted friend or relative. If the trait in question is a positive one, then build from there.

In terms of banter, I am not sure you can teach someone to be gregarious, but on the other hand we can all improve. Start with the masters... watch Christopher Hitchens videos where he is being interviewed by a lesser mind... you will realize that even though he is on auto-pilot, there is a watchful beast behind his eyes just waiting for an opening to pounce.

MikeAlphaGolf · 2018-06-12T11:22:42+00:00

You need to care less about what people think of you. You be you. Run your own race. You will water yourself down if you try to be a clown or a people pleaser. Your answer lies in stoicism, not self help books.

jm51 · 2018-06-12T11:55:16+00:00

I see it as personality is why people like you at parties and character is why people are glad to have a friend like you when the chips are down.

The bonds created through personality are like velcro, easy to make and easy to break. The bonds created through character are like the string on a kite. That string can become thicker string, then rope, then a cable.

<i cant seem to be able to banter or be quick and witty

fwir, Tricky Dicky had the same problem. He learned stock small talk to rinse and repeat with anyone new that he met. There's a minor British celeb that I've met twice. She came over really well the first time I met her. 20 years later, I met her again while outside a pub having a smoke. She repeated the same script, word for word.

VoidPill · 2018-06-12T12:18:04+00:00

Okay so here's the problem. When it comes to short term encounters how good you look largerly affects your 'percieved' personality.

Men respect a guy who is good with women and has an alpha job. So a suave, well built guy in formal wear will instantly be associated with status. More so if you're tall.

A guy with a good looking face will automatically be assumed to have a lot of friends and have high social status.

Other than that just don't be a douchebag to people you're not trying to fuck.

quicklogaccount · 2018-06-12T13:21:30+00:00

Ok, I'll try to be serious.

1 - Pick a "base style":
Which style you think fits the most of you? Sporty? Fancy and refined? Party animal? Geek? Indie? Personification of left? Of right?

2 - Give yourself authenticity:
Add personal stuff you like to it, even if it's out of character, but make sure it is attractive. A body builder indie is good, a fat fat acceptance activist among body builders is bad. Geek shit works well.

3 - Get literate in the style's requirements. Get literate in the everyday issues about politics and shit that surround you. If you're already knowledgeable in some fields, let it help you picking the style.
Form opinions on the stuff that is important to that tribe, EVEN IF IT DOESN'T CONCERN YOU.

4 - Go meet those people.
You don't have to be the best among them to be accepted. You don't have to AMOG the alpha male out to be accepted, you don't need to have women sucking you to fit, you don't need to be able to give lectures on their area of expertise. Just be cool and don't try hard to please people.

It should work man.

Edit:
Some stuff to observe in styles:

How it relates to MUSIC, eclectic or specific, which groups or bands. It's always an easy conversation thread;
How it relates to other forms of expression;
How it relates to minorities;
How it relates to sports and fitness;
How it relates to traveling.

lostbuthopefull · 2018-06-12T23:02:30+00:00

Don't read any books. Go and talk to everyone. Understand how to socialize with anyone, regardless of race, age, gender, beliefs, you get it. I had a job in sales for 2 years. Best decision I made. Idgaf if you're having a bad day, or an amazing one, you better socialize or spark conversation with whomever. Ask millions of questions, even if you don't care. People love talking about themselves, make sure your listening and give them your undivided attention. If you can't figure out how to begin a conversation, compliment them on something about their appearance and move from their.

Socializing with people will give you that extrovert trait, but to be interesting you have to go out and do shit. You must have a hobby you're good at, you must have goals you want to reach. Interesting people aren't interesting cause they read books, they actually go out and experience life. Do everything as in outdoor activities and social events, talk to everyone, and find a passion and excel at it.

It's not easy, but what doesn't take time? Just have fun.

Title	How do you build a personality
Author	MYMOUTHISNUMmn
Upvotes	34
Comments	23
Date	June 12, 2018 3:45 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8qfudz/how_do_you_build_a_personality/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-you-build-a-personality.766 https://theredarchive.com/post/766

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