How do you pick yourself back up?

LucyDD69 · 2019-11-17T13:20:09+00:00

Well, after you understand what it is you did, and reflect on it, why keep thinking about it?

Just move on. It’s literally in the past now. You do yourself no favors being down in the dumps. Take your dump, and flush it. Don’t stick your hand in the toilet and hold onto it. Sure, maybe look at it for a second and think about that little kernel of not fully digested corn, but then flush it.

The longer you let it linger, the more it stinks. Do yourself, your mental health, and most importantly, your bathroom a favor by just moving on. You can’t change the past, especially if you’re a sexual offender. So just set your eyes on the future and being better.

vondoom900 · 2019-11-17T13:25:17+00:00

Gym, film,music. Then after look into how/ why I fucked up and try to fix it or make sure I don't don't do it again.

Everyone fucks up at some point. Those that don't or worse do and don't accept turn into cunts.

My thing is getting annoyed at people that get everything on a plate for them / genetic lottery, support, etc. Taken me years to solve that one - still ongoing in some respects but I'm aware it's a problem.

KrissVectorEOC · 2019-11-17T14:18:32+00:00

First step is always to admit that whatever happens from a negative event, whether you're at fault or not, it becomes your responsibility in regards to how you're going to respond moving forward. If it was your mistake, quickly reflect on what went wrong and what not do do next time it arises. This should be relatively quick. Next step is to use the freedom of time that you have gained to enjoy the things you love. After you've learned to savor your free time and actually enjoy being alone again then start going out with friends, continue developing (listening and reading), and meet other women. The more often this happens, the more this becomes a smaller emotionally draining hurdle and the more you appreciate the struggle because you can feel yourself getting stronger and becoming a better Man because you've gone through those things. Over time, both Women and Men will see this too.

EdvardMunch · 2019-11-17T16:49:40+00:00

Ive spent a year on this so I have helpful advice.

Do. As painful as it all is put into action the things you need to build the life you want. Do them.

Stop thinking about it and analyzing, stop reading self help books. All fine and good but do.

You need to create new habits in the brain and that doesnt come easy, it comes with consistent action.

Ive watched hundreds of insightful youtube videos this year, im fucking tired of them. Jesus himself has no advice I care to hear besides "action" "do". Okay? None of this shit is gonna cause a neuron to say "ohhh now im ready for life changes here I go".

Its not an emotional thing, an intellectual thing, and or a pride thing. Its completely isolated action. Reap the glory later, thats fine. But everyone who made something of themselves repeated actions consistently.

Nobody may know how hard you work or what you're doing but you will. For me if I think im a loser I sure as hell am gonna have trouble presenting otherwise to a girl.

King-in-the-making · 2019-11-17T17:19:41+00:00

Weird as it sounds, I turn my brain off. Just trust that your habits will guide you back to sanity.

I know my mind is fucked sometimes and not thinking straight. So I just do things that require little thought.

The key is to start stacking LITTLE wins.

Hit the gym. Talk to strangers. Start eating right. Do something new. (Keep all of these things positive at best, self reflective at worst)

Do little things that positively add up. Be patient, but take right action. You will see results again.

IFuckingHateAllergy · 2019-11-17T15:07:52+00:00

I retrace my steps and fall back to my old mindset. In the end it all boils down to frame of mind.

GratificationDelayed · 2019-11-17T17:26:11+00:00

Picking your self up is the hardest thing you can do. But it can be done.

You either fold or you cope. The choice really is urs tho

Crixusgannicus · 2019-11-17T22:01:22+00:00

" Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place, and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth, but you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that! ... But until you start believing in yourself, you ain't gonna have a life."

Rocky Balboa

EdvardMunch · 2019-11-18T04:20:16+00:00

Also think about this. If you lift well and eat good there will come a day where you see yourself jacked in front of your bathroom mirror. You go out and notice women looking you up and down, and smiling at you.

You dont even need game, you need hi.

Andorli · 2019-11-18T11:46:05+00:00

How do you guys pick yourself up when you've made a big mistake

Do things that I know are right to do regardless of how I "feel".

I know that Lifting is good for me regardless.

I know that meditation is good for me regardless.

I know that WimHof method or Cold Exposure is good for me regardless.

I know that reading good literature is good for me regardless.

I know that staying of vises is good for me regardless.

Just do that, until your mind readjusts, and your confidence goes up, and it will go up one way or the other because through repetition you will feel more adequate and in control.

PliskinRed · 2019-11-17T15:07:19+00:00

Understand and accept that no one is coming to help. It's just you. Do or die.

BurnieSlander · 2019-11-17T19:43:11+00:00

If you have time to dwell on your mistakes, you’re not doing enough.

Between work, hobbies, relationships, side projects, and other social interactions, I fail in many ways on a daily basis, but I simply don’t allow myself time to dwell on those failures. Take the lesson and move the fuck on- you’ve got other shit to do.

ziadxk · 2019-11-17T16:29:31+00:00

Do something I like, Work on my goals and go to gym or swimming everyday. If you do the previous once, going out with friends will be good (alone won't do for me at least)

2019-11-17T17:03:31+00:00

I've been feeling shitty for the past few days and I realised it was because of my mindset and attitude. You need to build yourself up and know you're a catch and stop overthinking.

slappysq · 2019-11-17T17:23:09+00:00

Gym.

mustache_ride_ · 2019-11-17T17:41:01+00:00

Ephemerality; this motherfucker shall pass too.

indianajonesindiana · 2019-11-17T18:52:11+00:00

The passing of time is the only solution I've ever found that helps improve a dire situation, long term.

Uberfeedus · 2019-11-17T20:47:07+00:00

Don't judge what happens. It just is and was. Learn from it.

bbqyak · 2019-11-17T21:30:58+00:00

Whatever decision you made was exactly what you wanted to do in that moment, and for better or worse you have to live with it for the rest of your life. So just accept that what's done is done.

Use the newfound emotion as psychological leverage and transmute the energy toward improving yourself. Use the reference experience to make sure it doesn't happen again. Making mistakes often means having to extend past your comfort zone and boundaries. At least appreciate the fact that you went outside your comfort zone to make a mistake. Growth as a human is outside the comfort zone.

Nergaal · 2019-11-18T02:40:00+00:00

with small steps

huwhitejaredtaylor · 2019-11-18T04:43:06+00:00

Here is what I do...

Think about how big you are compared to Earth... now, how big is the Earth compared to the Sun? How big is the Sun compared to other stars? Keep spanning out. You, your mistakes, and everything are literally almost nothing.

Just keep floating on and realize nothing really matters.

:-)

MattyAnon · 2019-11-17T22:00:48+00:00

How do you guys pick yourself up when you've made a big mistake

You just do it..... what's the alternative?

JohnBoyAndBilly · 2019-11-17T21:51:34+00:00

It's very simple - write down 20 ways in which whatever happened benefited you. Then you'll see the underlying reason it actually occurred and lose the victim illusion of "bad event happened to me, woe is me"

Title	How do you pick yourself back up?
Author	Jester2552
Upvotes	84
Comments	34
Date	November 17, 2019 1:15 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/dxmeo8/how_do_you_pick_yourself_back_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-you-pick-yourself-back-up.295560 https://theredarchive.com/post/295560

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