How to fall outta oneitis during LTR

jb_trp · 2018-03-08T17:32:09+00:00

Realize the relationship is going to end sooner or later. "She doesn't belong to you, it's just your turn." Enjoy it while it lasts, and don't fear the reaper.

Next... Stop worrying about this chick. Stop worrying about social media, texts, what she's doing, etc. because that's shit you can't control. Keep a diligent eye, next her if she gets out of line, but other than that... Stop worrying. Don't attach part of your ego/self-worth to being associated with this chick or her approval. Right?

For an LTR to work, you need to be centered, improving yourself, have an interesting life with cool hobbies and a sense of purpose... And she gets to come along for the ride until you get tired of her and she doesn't add to your life. Where are you going in life? What do you like to do? Focus on these things. If you don't have those things, you're doing it wrong. You should be so fulfilled and determined in your mission that her texting you doesn't matter. Women are just a side mission. They shouldn't even be in your top 3.

Enjoy the ride. You've had a few good moments. Perhaps you'll have a few more good moments. But eventually the moments end.

Cheers, mate.

xovyz · 2018-03-08T18:52:05+00:00

Just because you’re feeling for her doesn’t mean you have to next her? What the fuck? You can have some great feelings for her and a lot of emotions, it can be some of the best feelings in the world and it makes sex with her all the much better.

You just have to be aware of it and stay in control of both yourself and your feelings. By being aware of it you should be able to stop yourself from doing stupid shit. As long as she doesn’t interrupt your life, your mission, the other stuff you have going on, and as long as she is not a bad influence on your life, keep going. The dangerous part with love is that it can make you sacrifice those parts of your life for her, and that’s what you need to be aware of and stop. As long as it does not happen love her all you want.

Ricklogical · 2018-03-08T17:15:03+00:00

Are you asking how you prepare to leave a relationship?

You start speaking with other people. You find a hobby and work on yourself. Do all that while she is there. Focus on dread and enjoy your life and your time with her.

bluemoviebaz · 2018-03-08T17:41:20+00:00

I think you need to ask yourself. Do you like who you’ve become while involved with her.

clammastak · 2018-03-08T22:31:57+00:00

you are way more emotionally invested than she is. detach yourself. do things for yourself. are you hitting the gym? do you have your own social circle? do you still do your own hobbies as you used to?

Those feelings of jealousy, anxiety are all feelings you created in your own head. Her actions may very well be objectively normal. Think rationally through those emotions. are they truly justified? For example, has she cheated on you before from texting a guy/Instgram DMs? No? Then why would you think she is doing it now. If she wanted to cheat on you, she would do it. you have no control over that. If she wanted to leave you, she would do it regardless of how you feel...so why feel anything at all? That could happen the next night even if you openly expressed your feelings to her. in the end, what you're feeling doesn't matter.

Self-honest · 2018-03-08T20:02:49+00:00

The glass is already broken

SoulRebel99 · 2018-03-08T18:19:31+00:00

Get more options, talk to/see other girls. She doesn't need to know.

JerryLawlerPigFace · 2018-03-08T22:44:58+00:00

Curious about a few things: are you asking because you feel as though things are going bad and you sense that the relationship is coming to an end? You feel her pulling back and becoming disinterested?

Wardenclyffe1917 · 2018-03-08T23:49:35+00:00

Define: “enjoy the decline”

Wardenclyffe1917 · 2018-03-09T01:05:37+00:00

Yeah but enjoy what precisely? The zero sex? The awkward eye contact? The arguments? Sleeping on the sofa?

If you’re going to part ways it needs to happen your terms. It will hurt in the short term but she and you will respect you more for it. You voice is more powerful than you know. Take the applause. Bow gracefully. Exit stage left.

You’re not getting any younger. Don’t delay the inevitable.

_Ulan_ · 2018-03-08T17:24:34+00:00

Outcome independence : You don't belong to her and her being around is just a nice bonus.

Start talking to other girls when you're out, no need to say you're in a LTR. Flirt and escalate, you can always say no if she tries to kiss you. It will take you out of onetis, but also help your brain see how your LTR is not as incredible as you might think she is. Finally your LTR will feel that your interest is elsewhere and she can start hunting for your attention again.

RAiderNat88 · 2018-03-08T19:44:57+00:00

However, is there any way to just enjoy the decline and pull myself emotionally without ending it?

Fuck other women, honestly, it's the only way to get your mind right.

BeeBopJoe · 2018-03-08T17:32:12+00:00

You can't, only way to do so is to next her. The best way to get over someone is to stop seeing/contacting them for a very long period of time.

Title	How to fall outta oneitis during LTR
Author	SoSmoooth
Upvotes	7
Comments	19
Date	March 8, 2018 5:01 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/82z10s/how_to_fall_outta_oneitis_during_ltr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-fall-outta-oneitis-during-ltr.125353 https://theredarchive.com/post/125353

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