Long story short, major oneitis with LTR who was, objectively, a massive bitch. I lost myself, and I tried to enforce boundaries and called her out on being disrespectful towards me, and she successfully gaslighted me into everything being my fault and me apologizing for everything. The objective reality is I should've dumped her ass a year ago for being a toxic cunt. I have a very codependent and bluepill background that I still fall into quite easily.

At the end, I capitulated to her so hard and begged to work things out, but she ended it because I "hurt" her by trying to enforce normal boundaries. In her mind, I'm the bad guy and I, regretfully, apologized for things I was 100% in the right for, to try to win her back.

Pathetic, I know. I'm incredibly disgusted with myself for stooping to a pathetic level of behavior. I've lost all self-respect. How do I move forward and past this? I can't stop thinking about how pathetic it all was. I feel like she "won", too, and that angers me.

Tough love is heavily encouraged here.