I'm going to commit suicide

HeilArminius · 2018-06-28T14:26:15+00:00

You are not wrong, you should kill yourself.

I've killed myself and been reborn many times. It's great and refreshing.

The key to a successful suicide is to know that you DON`T want to kill your physical-self. You just want to "kill" (destroy-make dissapear) your life situation.

Kill everything. Burn it to the ground. And start over. Like the fenix.

You brain is a smart device. Trust your gut. If you (your life situation) is boring, not what you expected, or just joyless, your brain will tell you to "kill" it. Do it.

Be merciless. Only what's worth your attention will survive the fire.

Hit me up if you need help.

I hope you get what I'm saying.

cholomite · 2018-06-28T14:56:48+00:00

You're going to throw away 60 additional years of existence because of some bullshit that will probably work itself out in the next 5 or 6 years? That sounds irrational to me. I'm about 10 years older than you are, and when I think back to my early 20s, I had no fucking idea what was going to happen, or that I'd be where I am today. Everything is so much different than it was back then, some good, some bad, but if I could go back and ask myself to predict it, I would have had no fucking idea. So much shit can change in just a couple years, it's almost always a safer bet to keep going and just enjoy the ride, because we all only get one turn on it.

Plus, knowing my luck, if I did kill myself, I think the very next day scientists would announce some shit that makes all humans happy and peaceful forever, or aliens come down or something, and my dumb ass missed it by a day, but that's just me.

"Trying to make the world work in my favor"

That's now how it works my dude, the world is always trying to shit all over you, and you just keep going. Contrary to what it seems like around here sometimes, not every guy on here is a 22yr old hedge fund manager making 900k a year with 8 pack abs and a perfectly tanned dick, who wakes up and has everything going for him. Most of us are just grinding along too, doing what we can to survive and make it to the next day, struggling with bills, our friends not calling us back, shitty people and shitty problems. We're all stuck on this floating rock together trying to make the most out of a mostly shitty existence we really know nothing about, but it's still better than nothing in my opinion. Good luck my dude and don't do anything stupid.

[deleted] · 2018-06-28T14:34:18+00:00

You're being irrational bro. Your mind has taken control and has convinced you that you can't compete with these other "high value" men. You are 23, you have your whole life ahead of you.

Read up on stoicism. The stoics believed in being good and moral, not for some reward. The reward was being and doing good itself. This gave them purpose when they otherwise had none. Epictetus was born a slave and he probably lived a happier life than any of us because he had a purpose in life, and that was to live in accordance with nature and to be good.

Find a purpose and keep living, bro.

ConstrictedAnus · 2018-06-28T14:33:38+00:00

You said you lift and work hard at your career. Where are your hobbies? Are you meditating? People are over analysing TRP way too seriously.

You’re burning yourself out too fast. You’ve got one life in this world. If you have given up hope, throwing your hands in the air and going to say “Fuck it, women aren’t speaking to me, can’t do shit cause other men are better, etc”, move countries, travel, fuck it, even go jump out of a plane, get a motorbike, do something worthwhile,

If you’re stuck in one thing, move to the next. Don’t dig yourself a deeper hole just because things aren’t going your way. Sooner or later, you’ll come back to it and be like “Wow, I wasted all this time on X when I should have been doing Y”.

RPLawyer · 2018-06-28T14:54:00+00:00

You know that guy you were yesterday? Kill him. Because everyday is about getting a little bit better

gekkone · 2018-06-28T14:29:11+00:00

First make yourself average.

Corvus_Uraneus · 2018-06-28T14:46:31+00:00

First of all, call the national suicide prevention lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK immediately. Talk to someone there, its not the same as therapy.

Secondly, don't. There is no afterlife, that life is the only one you're going to get. Know that things can get better for you, I was there once too.

You don't have to be able to compete with the guys at the top of the hierarchy to have a worthwhile or meaningful life.

I know you've tried medication, I hope you've tried options because some anti-depressants can CAUSE suicidal ideation.

I also know how brutal anxiety can feel. You're not alone.

iHoldAllTheAces · 2018-06-28T14:49:32+00:00

You likely are already the high value guy you wanted to become but the only thing holding you back is your self doubt. Please reconsider suicide.

ProMisogynist · 2018-06-28T14:29:28+00:00

If we assume that you're being rational (for the sake of discussion), then I would argue that the logic you're using is not sound. The notion that you aren't going to be able to get happiness, a good career, starting a family, etc. because you have depression, anxiety and aren't good socially at the moment does not logically follow. For an example of why, there are people who have done it (I'm one of them), and there are people who are in the midst of doing it now.

What it sounds like to me is that you might be trying to fit a square peg in a round hole in terms of your place in society and what will get you to where you want to be.

Feel free to PM me, and we can talk about that, or you can ask me whatever you'd like to ask me if you think that it might help you along.

ravenQ · 2018-06-28T14:51:16+00:00

Skip country, where do you live?

CaptDeadlift · 2018-06-28T14:31:07+00:00

There will always be someone better than you and that is a fact but that is not a reason to end your life.

Find something you're passionate about and dgaf about others.

Make the best you can out of your life because as far as we know we only have one but if you do decide to end it all then go out with a bang lol.

All jokes aside ending your life is not worth it and who knows in 5 years you will be wondering how stupid you were to contemplate suicide.

Most people are averages all around and when met with something different they try to belittle you or make it seem like something is very wrong with you but sometimes there is truth in it.

Maybe those who said those things are average joes and you shouldn't really consider your opinion because again you should do everything for yourself and not for others.

Have a good one.

showerdudes9 · 2018-06-28T14:35:34+00:00

get on trt or cycles and you'll immediatly place urself in the top 5-10%. i'd rather take all the health risk and live a shorter but good life than live a long average life. Iv e wanted to kill myself too but i decided to just yolo with roids and get ahead of the curve hardcore. best decision ive made in my life

letgravitydecide · 2018-06-28T15:26:44+00:00

If death is an option, what else might be? There are so many paths that ordinary people never think to take, because in doing so they risk everything. You're already prepared to do that. Suicide is one great leap into the unknown. But you can have great leaps multiple times in this life. With your calm and logical thinking you can probably see that, if you make a radical enough change, the parameters of your outlook may also change. Survivors of attempted suicide by jumping often remark that upon jumping, they had a moment of clarity in which they realized that everything in life was fixable, except for having jumped. What would your moment of clarity look like? What major leaps could you make to radically alter your situation, to allow you to see things differently than you currently can? You're 23, and while it may seem like you've got a clear perspective on what your aptitudes and life opportunities can be, you can always be mistaken. The only thing that is certain here is that you are ready for a big change.

Alex24d · 2018-06-28T14:43:02+00:00

Things you want to achieve, "happiness, good career, starting a family", do not require you to be a SMV 9+ male to get. And there will always be higher value people than you even if you are Leonardo Di Caprio, and yet here we all are, trying to be the best versions of ourselves while realizing we will never be #1.

3d_truth · 2018-06-28T15:19:37+00:00

You want a new perspective on life? Please read A new Earth by Echart Tolle. Or just get into spirituality. Your purpose right now should be to awaken. Once that is taken care of, and it will take a while, you will have a fresh perspective on life and will longer be depressed because you can get the things you think you want.

variable486 · 2018-06-28T15:32:30+00:00

Just want to share what worked for me. When I'm having depressive thoughts, I just remind myself that I can't always trust my thoughts. My thoughts doesn't necessarily reflect the reality I am in. This always snap me back up. Hope this helps. We're here for you bro.

AssBestPicture2505 · 2018-06-28T15:33:01+00:00

Don't do it dude.

DadOnDabs · 2018-06-28T15:34:07+00:00

I suffer from depression also but the key to battling it is a mindset shift. You're in a very negative mindset and only you can change that. It's a battle every day but once you learn to change your mindset it's easier.

When the negative thoughts come up its up to you to change them. I do this by telling myself I'm awesome, that I'm doing a great job, that I am better than I was yesterday.

I'll give you my personal example if it helps.

I'm 20 years old and ever since I was a kid I knew I was intellectually ahead of the other kids in my classes. Not in a "straight A' s genius way" but in a "I can pick apart anything and understand how it works" kind of way. I could figure out the skills behind anything I had an interest in and always had the drive to pursue it and get good at it. I knew I would succeed.

Fast forward to me at 18 years old. I was thinking up all these ideas of shit that I could do with my life because I still didn't know what I wanted to do for a career. I had vast plans to start my own tech company in military technology, change the medical world, or even run for president. But I imagined myself in the driver's seat without ever learning how to drive the car. I had no idea what steps to take to make it happened and felt like a failure because I couldn't live up to my own expectations.

Over the next 2 years I had the best two years of my life from anyone else's viewpoint. I got into my dream school, was making great money, and achieved a lot of goals I set for myself, but I still wasn't happy.

The change first came when I decided I wanted to be happy. That I wanted to end the negative mental masturbation I was putting myself through. I had tried the "I'll tell myself I'm happy until I'm happy" trick before and it worked for a while, but I ended up crashing back down. Ultimately it's like confidence, it's built from continued habits and doing things that make you happy.

So I found something that I could do for me, only me, and not care what anyone else thought while I was doing it. For me it was getting back into bike racing, a hobby I had as a child. While on my bike at first I was just able to zone out and ignore the depression, then as I started to focus on improving my skills on the bike and riding more and more I got genuine enjoyment out of it. Now every time I look at my bike it makes me happy. The first step is finding something like this to put in your life.

Now that I had something that made me happy my problem should be solved right? Wrong.

I had something that made me happy but just like women you can't have your happiness rely on them. Any time it rained and I couldn't ride I would be down for the rest of the day and slip back into that negative state. The second (and harder step) is to find reasons why you do the other shit you do every day.

I go to a 12 hour a day job 6 days a week and honestly don't like it most days. It's not that it's a bad job but it isn't what I want to be doing. But every day I come here it makes me more money to pay for my schooling, hobbies, and things that make me happy. I remind myself of that every morning when I wake up.

The third step is your mindset shift. This is the hardest part and takes the most maintenance. You will CONSTANTLY need to keep your mindset in check. Depression is a circling shit storm of shit that is hard to get out of. The best way to do this is to watch for the signs. I'll give my examples.

When a customer rolls right past me and doesn't even want to give me the time of day I used to think that it was my fault for not being inviting enough, looking proper enough, etc. Then I realized they are probably just looking and don't want to waste theirs or my time. I just tell myself that and that there will be another customer here to buy something. When they back out of a deal at the last minute I used to think it was because of me and that I was a shit salesmen. Then I realized that if someone asked me to pay what I'm asking them to pay on my salary id say no too.

It's all about your mindset really. When you get down just tell yourself it's all right, that you shouldn't be your biggest enemy because at the end of the day you're going to be the only one that's always there for you. You should be your biggest supporter. Any time you get down and have negative thoughts you need to correct them immediately. That's the best way to battle depression.

Message me if you need help or have any questions. Suicide is not the answer, there are so many other options to choose from but you only get to choose suicide once.

The_Dude_89 · 2018-06-28T15:38:38+00:00

I'm a war victim and my father has NPD (20 years of abusive hell at home) . Had suicidal thoughts and tried killing myself multiple times. I've been to therapy and did some LSD and MDMA to get to the other side. If I can be fixed, so can you. It's normal to have suicidal thoughts and want to kill yourself especially if you've been exposed to a traumatic experience repeatedly over a long period of time. No one expects you to fix this by yourself. Seek a professional.

PB0034 · 2018-06-28T15:53:42+00:00

Join military. You get a fresh start.

Bustedwire · 2018-06-28T16:21:05+00:00

Suicide is a permanent answer to a temporary problem.

From my perspective, you're taking a victim mentality to the challenges life has faced you with. Depression, anxiety, difficulty socializing, competition. I can not deny that you feel debilitated by feelings. I can say that regardless of why you feel beaten, you're choosing to live (or die) beaten by them.

Depression is a natural response. Anxiety is a natural response. Difficulty socializing is one of life's challenges. Competition is never going away.

You're struggling to see how your coping mechanisms are irrational so I highly recommend cognitive behavioral therapy and learning grounding techniques. You need to disown your faulty coping mechanisms and replace them.

This isn't easy nor will it be quick. So don't look for instant gratification. Instead of looking for an escape, face it head on. Become cognitive of your behaviors and thoughts and work diligently to change them.

Nrhjfk · 2018-06-28T16:38:55+00:00

I am overwhelmed by everyone's replies. I only expected a couple half-hearted responses saying to harden up but thank you everyone for your support and thoughtful insight. I hope my post can provide support to other people who suffer with similar issues. You are all great people and I can't explain how grateful I am, I don't really have anyone I can talk to about these thoughts.

I had planned to do it today and have begun to overdose on drugs to give me the courage to do the final act later tonight, but I haven't done anything major yet. I will continue reading and considering your responses. I don't feel I am worth all of this thought and consideration but I really hope this post does provide some kind of value to someone.

UFND · 2018-06-29T01:50:28+00:00

When Suicide is now an option, the courage to Live is in itself an act of beauty for that is no different than the courage to suffer.

andtoc · 2018-06-28T16:56:02+00:00

Take a look at this:

https://tim.blog/2015/05/06/how-to-commit-suicide/

BarackTheObama · 2018-06-28T15:01:09+00:00

Atleast give me some of that life insurance money beta ass bitch you‘re 23 motherfucker not 90

Title	I'm going to commit suicide
Author	Nrhjfk
Upvotes	21
Comments	37
Date	June 28, 2018 2:14 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8ujspp/im_going_to_commit_suicide/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/im-going-to-commit-suicide.101319 https://theredarchive.com/post/101319

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