LtR got text from a guy, lied about identity

FuckboyAWALT · 2019-07-06T09:50:12+00:00

Soft next.

Do not tolerate lying.

Well played so far.

redhawkes · 2019-07-06T09:53:33+00:00

Lying is hard next for me.

Also, she's keeping him as a backup.

thanusall · 2019-07-06T11:59:20+00:00

She already lied, you really believe she gave that number out before you were dating? And he just now barely texted her?

Get real bro, she’s lying about that too

VasiliyZaitzev · 2019-07-06T14:50:47+00:00

Lying was not a good sign. Also, how much do you want to bet it was a guy she gave her number to last week, and not “before you dated.” Because that’s exactly the kind of bullshit thing that liars do.

MattyAnon · 2019-07-06T16:52:11+00:00

She said family member

Noone ever says "family member", they say "brother" or "cousin" etc. If she said family member, she's lying.

She then admits that it's a guy who she gave her number to before we dated.

Ok, here's the thing about trickle truth. First of all she's lying,and when she admits she's lying it's going to be a whole lot worse.

Also, she's a liar.

She said she didnt want to upset me.

This is to cover up for the lying and make it your fault.

She lied, you can't trust her.

Update: I think I fall within the definition of a soft next. I got the reach out text and apology. How do you proceed from here?

This is not a LTR anymore.

Apologise all she likes...... she's lying. She covered it up, she doesn't have a name with the number so it's pre-planned, etc etc

She's cheating or surely will. Fuck her all you like, but see other women before this one destroys you.

rizzyfromthe9 · 2019-07-06T13:43:48+00:00

if she lies about little shit like this, you think she’ll lie when she fucks him ?

Jabbermouth · 2019-07-06T16:26:58+00:00

Lying is a hard next for me. This is your LTR we’re talking about not some plate or FWB. Lying leads to stealing, cheating and worse. If she lied about this what else has she lied about?

From this point on you will always have a seed of doubt whether or not she is telling the truth. You can never fully trust her. Trust is vital for a relationship. Also she will get better at hiding things from you because she “won’t want to upset you”.

“Trust but verify” only works if she is worthy of your trust. I think soft nexting in this case is a big mistake man. Even if it goes back to how things were, your LTRs days are numbered.

Subutai_Baghatur · 2019-07-06T11:25:44+00:00

Soft next for a few days if it’s an old text for lying.

Hard next if it’s a recent text.

SalporinRP · 2019-07-06T17:24:35+00:00

Like others have said, lying is a next. I would maybe keep her around for a few weeks while I built up other options but after that it's over.

Lying about the identity of a guy is just massive disrespect.

Also women are masters of trickle truth so you might not have the whole picture.

I went through something similar with an ex before I discovered TRP. Saw a guy was messaging her and asked who it was. She said it was someone from a group she was in for one of her classes. Seemed unlikely but even back in my blue pill days making a huge deal out of that seemed stupid. I waited a few days and went through her phone while she was in the shower. Found out they had hooked up before we started dating. I read through the whole conversation and while she was telling him she had a boyfriend, she was still keeping him around for validation and shit.

Just beware of trickle truth.

red6pill · 2019-07-06T15:15:24+00:00

Lying - hard next

bluepillcarl · 2019-07-06T15:38:42+00:00

Shes only keeping his number because shes physically attracted to him and you are not enough for her.

Red_Pill_Brotherhood · 2019-07-06T16:30:05+00:00

Lying is not a good sign bro. Also, her keeping the message thread(so she has his #) instead of deleting it is not good. I'd soft next if you know for a FACT that this guy was from before you guys dated. Hard next if it was after.

zboo1h · 2019-07-06T18:04:51+00:00

"LTR". What, like two months? That's a demotion to plate for me.

boy_named_su · 2019-07-06T20:05:08+00:00

on the one side, she can't control if some guy texts her, other than changing her number

on the other side, lying is really bad. You can try a 4-day soft next, but the odds that she'll lie again are high

onpuzzle · 2019-07-06T21:34:00+00:00

She knows that what she's doing isn't right. Otherwise she wouldn't have said it's a family member.

She's a thot. Game other women.

Don_Draper27 · 2019-07-06T13:19:39+00:00

Maybe she just doesn’t handle being put on the spot very well. Trust but verify. Make it be known that she’s treading on light ice.

gjproflip · 2019-07-06T13:05:57+00:00

Lying is a next in an LTR. If you are going to be stupid, then at least have a conversation about:

Why did you lie? You didn’t want to upset me? Am I the kinda guy that gets his feelings hurt easy?
How are you going to fix this? What are you going to do make sure this doesn’t happen again?

I wouldn’t tell her what to do, or walk her through the conversation. You ask the questions, she answers and tells you how she’s going to make it right. If you are satisfied, then good for you. Don’t invest in this relationship bro. She’s texting other guys.

You don’t get caught the first time. And don’t get caught at your worst very often. I bet you scratched the surface.

kellykebab · 2019-07-07T00:09:34+00:00

She didn't tell him to go away but she didn't reply

Don't girls often get shit for replying to dudes to say "go away?" Doesn't that often just encourage the guy? I'd say not replying is basically always the best option in this kind of case.

Not going to address the lying, because everyone else already has. Just wanted to weigh in on the texting issue.

Irtotallynotrobot · 2019-07-07T00:14:51+00:00

So the key here is to have what behavior deserves upgrades and downgrades ahead of time. For me, an errant text wouldn't be enough to downgrade to plate but I would star pulling back investment without discussing the problem with her.

SolidLiquidGasPlasma · 2019-07-07T02:05:26+00:00

Why the fuck were you going through her phone it dosnt matter if it’s dead in front of your face “it’s none of my business” then they’ll respect yours. That’s how you keep more plates without them knowing

sweatybuyer · 2019-07-07T15:57:32+00:00

Do you know why she didn't respond to him saying something reasonable like, "I have a boyfriend, please do not text me again"?.

She's keeping him as backup. If she rejected him outright then she risks losing him entirely. Once you breakup with her she's going to message him, "oh hey! Didn't see your text until now" type bullshit. She's able to do this because she never rejected him in the first place and kept him on the sidelines.

Girls do this to me all the time and I do this to girls all the time. It's just how the game works. No one wants to leave a relationship without having immediate backups.

The call is dump her. She lied to you and on top of that tried to play off the lie as a favor to you. Dump her immediately but know she's going to fuck that guy. Don't try to stop her,negotiate, or fuck her one more time for old time's sake. That guy can have your trash.

HurricaneHugues · 2019-07-07T07:39:50+00:00

I guess being lied to must be foreplay for you in a relationship

Title	LtR got text from a guy, lied about identity
Author	pen15rules
Upvotes	23
Comments	44
Date	July 6, 2019 9:46 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/c9rvb2/ltr_got_text_from_a_guy_lied_about_identity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ltr-got-text-from-a-guy-lied-about-identity.244622 https://theredarchive.com/post/244622

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