LTR having coed sleepovers

LandingWoodv2 · 2015-08-30T08:33:20+00:00

You honestly believe your under 20 ltr slept within 20 feet of an under 20 guy and didn't do anything ?

It's plausible with all the betas, but like the above post said, that's not acceptable.

grubek · 2015-08-30T08:29:45+00:00

I'm sorry, you need to break up.

She did something 99% sure, but even if she did not that's not acceptable behaviour from a LTR.

frequentlywrong · 2015-08-30T09:01:25+00:00

Trickle truth. Look it up. Dump her and find a new one. Keep in mind that your SMV is increasing up to age ~35, theirs is ever declining. No reason to commit to a chick at your age. Going into a LTR when you are < 20 is silly from a guys point of view.

Metalaggeddon · 2015-08-30T11:28:13+00:00

Ignoring whether she did or didn't do anything with him, this is grounds for a breakup.

She disrespected you. Plain and simple. Both with not keeping her word, "women only sleepover" and by sleeping with a guy who isn't you.

She showed poor, dangerous judgement as a standard for the future. Next time she may be drunk. She may be next to a Chad. You don't know, regardless, crossing that boundary is proof of poor judgement on physical boundaries, inevitably making cheating more likely in the future.

For those reasons alone and nothing else, unless you're being openly invited to all her single sex sleepovers from here on out, she's out the door.

QueefMcSharterson · 2015-08-30T08:33:19+00:00

Extreme boundary crossing. Wow. In your shoes, I would leave.

rpkarma · 2015-08-30T08:56:50+00:00

They definitely did something. Put yourself in his shoes: you sleep next to a 20-something chick at 1am. You really gonna tell me you're not going to do something? Come on man.

Even if nothing happened, it's so not cool I'd still drop her on the spot. Which, back in the day, I did; and later found out she indeed had hooked up with him.

awalt_cupcake · 2015-08-30T12:38:29+00:00

Flip the sexes. Would she be ok with you allegedly sleeping next to girls?

emryz · 2015-08-30T11:21:51+00:00

Not acceptable. Downgrade to plate (if you are emotionally able, ask yourself if you have oneitis). I would not break up per se ( I mean sit together and talk about it, this seems butthurt), just say that you are having girls for sleepovers now too. She absolutely can come too, if she wants to.

americnleprchaun · 2015-08-30T15:02:12+00:00

what <20 year old guy goes over to a girls house at 1am for not sex?

RPSigmaStigma · 2015-08-30T15:21:18+00:00

under 20

LTR

Dude, don't even bother with LTRs at your age. No girl under 20 has any serious intentions for anything long term, and besides, you should be focusing on school, career, social development, etc. Go spin plates and have fun.

redthrowawaypill · 2015-08-30T13:43:57+00:00

Very disrespectful at the least. Kick her to the curb, especially since she stopped texting and snapchatting when the guys came.

Vryk0lakas · 2015-08-30T09:02:06+00:00

They have it pretty much summed up. Even if nothing happened thats not a behavior you would want in a girl. Your ltr may be saveable, but why bother? Abundance Mentality will get you more quality and quantity.

perdill · 2015-08-30T13:38:03+00:00

Whether she did something or not is irrelevant. You need clear boundaries in an LTR and if you're gonna spend your 20s locked down in one she better be pretty fucking flawless. Next.

dgillz · 2015-08-30T16:32:26+00:00

Either something happened, or it didn't. If something happened, your choice is clear - dump her. If nothing happened, your choice is still clear - dump her. This type of behavior is unacceptable in a relationship. If you stay with her, you are beta as hell.

stickfiguresk · 2015-08-30T23:31:12+00:00

Late to the party, but I'm gonna help you out, broseph: there's a line we walk, and on either side is "do I have enough evidence" and "maybe I'm overreacting" that we all tread in these scenarios. Know this now, because you're going to experience this 100 more times with women: you will never find out more about it. Accept that this is all you'll know.

I've been there, man. We've all been there. You really like her, and you don't want to make the wrong decision, or maybe you just don't want to be alone. That's all good. But here's the thing: this will bother you for the rest of the time you know her. It will not go away, and it will eat at you. You owe it to yourself to be happy and dump her. You deserve self respect. And you owe it to both of you to do it politely and quickly, because, afterall, you don't have enough evidence, and you never will.

"That's just nagging at me the wrong way. I think I need a break for a few weeks." Replace her. Your turn with her is over.

Edit: also, the reason why we go one way instead of the other is because alot of us thrive being the (dudes at the coed sleepover). We're at peace with what goes on, and now we take advantage of it. And we don't just hold hands or cuddle. Jody is real.

srqrox · 2015-08-30T15:03:25+00:00

Gut is telling you what is right, don't ignore it.

The biggest mistakes of my life happened, when I ignored what everything around me and my gut was telling me!

Two girls, two boys, all about 20 or under it - there is no way in hell they didn't fool around. No fucking way!

chief_slap_ahoe · 2015-08-30T11:47:35+00:00

You are a thick head navie DA

RedPillJax · 2015-08-30T14:03:07+00:00

Yeah... no, man.

This is your male hamster spinning when you say you believe she wouldn't do anything like that. This is bullshit, and your relationship is over.

Go no contact. You do not owe her any explanation or further contact. You don't even need to make sure she realizes the relationship is over, if you want. You are the most important person here, not her feelings.

If I was in your shoes - which I have been - I would be moving on to greener pastures immediately.

favours_of_the_moon · 2015-08-30T15:01:57+00:00

whether or not she "did anything," she's pushing the boundary with you.

Why don't you have some nice ladies over for a sleepover?

needless_pickup_line · 2015-08-30T16:25:25+00:00

Just went camping last night. 3 guys and 1 girl in the same tent and no one hooked up with her. But to be fair we all got there at the same time, no one randomly showing up at 1am. And the girl is NOT in a serious relationship.

If the guy looks like a bitch (low SMV) he probably just arranged the positioning to sleep next to your presumably attractive girlfriend and try and make moves, and nothing may have happened.

See if you can suss things out but this is a red flag regardless of if she hooked up with anyone. Use your best judgment.

Meglomaniac · 2015-08-30T18:08:17+00:00

They also slept over and my LTR claims to have slept beside a guy but had not done anything sexual. I truly believe she did not do anything, but the situation is bugging me to my core.

Your intitution is SCREAMING AT YOU because that is BS.

Immediate next. The 2 guy friends showing up were coming to fuck your two girls. No one has friends over at 1am just to chill.

They also slept over and my LTR claims to have slept beside a guy but had not done anything sexual.

This might as well come out of the side bar as a prime example of trickle truth.

yougonnagetit · 2015-08-30T22:20:42+00:00

slept beside a guy but nothing sexual happened

She's trickling the truth out. She feels a little guilty that she sucked off that guy, so by telling you she slept in the bed she feels a little better about herself.

I'm sorry to say it, you haven't understood anything on this sub. Women's actions are everything, their words mean nothing (I go so far as to say nobody's words mean anything and action is everything). In this case, if we are to ignore her words it's illogical not to assume she did something. She slept beside a guy, at the very least. At the worst ? She got a one way ticket to pound town and then cuddled after.

-Petulance · 2015-08-30T19:40:15+00:00

Always trust your gut.

Reddthrown · 2015-08-30T12:56:24+00:00

It depends. If by "slept besides" she means the two of them in a bed, or the two of them alone in the same room, or in a similarly intimate setting, you should run as fast as your legs will take you.

If it means that 15 people slept on the floor together, then I would ignore it unless trickle truth starts coming in.

McLarenX · 2015-08-31T04:28:12+00:00

If you were next to a hot chick would you try to fuck? Don't be so stupid man, you are NOT in control. She is attempting a cuck, so fuck that! You haven't completely destroyed those guys status right in front of her in a believable way so guess what? She probably fucked!

Tell her what she did was bullshit and cut off contact RIGHT NOW. If she does shows up crying at your door later, tell her to go away because your too busy having a fucking coed sleepover. After the dust settles, you have your first plate. Pile up some more and your golden.

notmyusualreddit · 2015-08-31T11:45:31+00:00

I'll comfort you and admit I have slept next to 2 women, once when I was 19, and once when I was 23, both of which I was attracted to, and did not do anything because of whatever fucking reasons they may have said at the time. So it fucking happens to idiots like I used to be.

However, you need to leave this chick. On principle. For your own good. You need to be firm. If you're not firm, she will cry or do whatever and you will be sad, and since its 'such a small innocent thing' you will forgive her. Big mistake. You need to leave her. For your own mental sanity. PLUS, you are prime time to be with other women. I have NO IDEA why I dated a women in college and even wanted to live with her. In a SEA of young women, I thought "hey this one is cute, im satisfied." Jesus what a mistake. What I hate most is how much young 18-21 yr old pussy I missed out on. How many parties with new women instead of the same one.

Just leave her. She messed up and itll mess with your head because it should. She could have rearranged the beds. She could have told the guys to go home. She could have left. She could have called you to come over. She could have done anything besides have a guy in her bed next to her.

Demote her to fuck toy at the most.. but unless youre SURE you can avoid getting more feelings and CARING for her.. dont do it. Next.

mty_green_go · 2015-08-30T17:30:10+00:00

This sounds like typical 20 yr old girl behavior. They are mostly not capable of committing until they reach late 20's or 30's once they've had time to fool around. You don't need to be in an LTR at this age, girls will come and go.

Inviting guys over at 1 am to sleep at her house, but then won't invite you to sleep over also? Thats fucked up man. Make your own decisions, but I know what I would do.

shakethesh · 2015-08-30T08:56:31+00:00

There's a lot of tools on this subreddit :/ There's nothing in the Red pill that says a woman can't be in the same room as a guy without things getting sexual. Indeed considering the current state of western men the opposite is probably true.

Having said that seeing as this bothers you (you have every right to be annoyed by it) just be clear that you don't want her to do it again. If she does then it becomes a genuine issue and you should leave her.

Title	LTR having coed sleepovers
Author	hellagnar
Upvotes	15
Comments	52
Date	August 30, 2015 8:00 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3ixq1n/ltr_having_coed_sleepovers/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ltr-having-coed-sleepovers.153175 https://theredarchive.com/post/153175

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