Shit tests are normal and expected, but don't they turn you off sometimes, or is that just me?

metallica11 · 2018-10-16T16:23:54+00:00

when they are warranted, i'm fine with them.

however, if some 23 year old barista with a sociology degree and 100K in debt feels the need to test my value to see if I'm "good enough" for her when all she offers is something she never earned (her looks), then I just flat out ignore her or ream it back right at her if something comes to mind.

CainPrice · 2018-10-16T12:48:17+00:00

Women test your dominance for two reasons:

You've recently been fucking up and acting like a loser, and her subconscious is kicking you while you're down to either get you to man up and stop being a loser or to get you to prove conclusively that you're a loser so she can dump you.
She's feeling insecure and her subconscious wants to reassure itself that your shit is together, she has a real man, and that shit is handled.

If you're getting bent out of shape over shit tests, odds are it's #1, you've been slipping, you know it, and it's pissing you off that she's noticing and pointing it out via shit testing.

A woman being 1000% sure that you are a real man and that shit is handled, both for you and for her, is critically important. Her subconscious needs to be certain that a real man is in her life and that everything is handled by someone masculine. Only then will her inner mind relax and allow herself to be feminine with you. You handling all of the man shit, shit tests included, is what gives her the space to be a woman.

RedHoodhandles · 2018-10-16T15:37:47+00:00

I had a plate like this and I feel you. I don't know if that was her character or if I somewhere fucked up the early frame announcement. It became quite annoying after a while.

Imagine having a tough and stressfull day at work and then you want to fuck and chill. Instead you need to hear that your hair is thinning (during a makeout break) or even during foreplay (it just took too long to open the bra). Sure A&A or ignore but man I'm not doing that again, no matter how hot she is. It was a constant struggle for power. Now I just avoid dominant women like the plague that they are.

freew33zy · 2018-10-16T18:19:11+00:00

Lol, LTRs being anything other than fun to be around and chill is annoying as fuck. No matter how hot they are attraction fades, so all that is left is how good the companionship is. Lately my LTR has been a little annoying with things like this and god it just makes me not want to be around her. Luckily, not wanting to be around her creates dread, which then corrects her actions. It's happened before--it's been a full two years now. Goes in cycles now and then, doesn't last long. My advice would be to just distance yourself from her if you notice increased shittesting and she's gonna feel like she's losing you. This will raise your value in her eyes and it will also make her work to get your attention back, and shittesting is no way to do that so you should see a decline. Ideally.

Herdsengineers · 2018-10-16T16:49:42+00:00

All women do it, but some do it more than others. I've found the more egregious shit testers are also usually more insecure than most women. That elevated insecurity is where their more extreme shit testing comes from. I've also found there is nothing you can do that will ever fix her insecurity. You can keep passing tests, but at some point, nobody bats a thousand, there will be one that doesn't get passed. Either because you fuck up, or because a particular shit test is simply unpassable. I highly recommend to drop women that constantly test, or even come up with more and more intense shit tests for you. If they are that insecure, eventually, they are just not worth the trouble. They have too many issues and need to fix themselves before they will be good relationship candidates on any level.

*Caveat - guys with lots of issues need to fix themselves as well before they also are good relationship candidates. TRP has a lot of good advice on how to own up to yourself and get your life together better. If you are entertaining a woman with a lot of issues instead of nexting her, I think you need to go look in a mirror and ask yourself why you are willing to put up with the bullshit? There's usually something there that you need to fix in yourself.

morescoobysnacks · 2018-10-16T16:49:31+00:00

Eventually you should pass shit tests passively if you cold approach enough. My guess is most guys here are either still uncomfortable with being dominant (afraid you'll lose her/piss her off) or simply don't know how to frame control. There isn't really an alternative. Because any girl that's in my apartment too much eventually gets on my nerves and I tell her to stop doing "it" or leave my apartment. There's nothing more to it. But if you lack abundance--more importantly, lack the tools and experience to create abundance--you'll lack the inner confidence to walk and the rest is history.

KevinMorganOfficial · 2018-10-16T15:52:03+00:00

Shit tests never stop, but you can significantly reduce the number by applying dread on that person.

CalvinRichland · 2018-10-17T03:07:45+00:00

For the ultra shit testers: 1. Wait until she is being super sweet 2. Open beer 3. Look at her and reflect 4. Say, "you know, I'm really tired of your shit lately." 5. Smile 6. Disengage completely and ignore the storm

FlourishingSurvivor · 2018-10-16T16:14:41+00:00

Can you give an example of such shit tests?

wobbleelbbow · 2018-10-16T20:16:09+00:00

It keeps you moving and doesn't let you become beta boy. Think positive. Shit-test are necessary for men just like they are necessary for women.

TheLastMgtow · 2018-10-16T15:49:55+00:00

They started to turn me off too. Its not exactly turning off. Its more like they make it feel superficial, as if the woman needs a constant assurance of strenght from your part. You also start resenting her submissiveness after you just treat her like shit. You cant trick your brain on that one. "Why would this hoe love me if i treat her like shit?". Then you just dump her. Female nature is selfsabotaging.

Ricklogical · 2018-10-16T16:12:57+00:00

I hate them.

It's life.

Notreallyme001 · 2018-10-16T18:13:58+00:00

We've all felt like this. It's part of life. Soon, you'll be so used to passing shit/comfort tests that it'll become second nature, and it'll be like shooing away a fly. Annoying, but you forget about it a minute later.

seducter · 2018-10-16T21:20:39+00:00

I don't understand, my girl never shit tests me, unless they are so subtle I'm just acing them. But this girl is like worshiping me... writing love letters, saying how perfect I am etc. Maybe that's just because I've only been seeing her 2 months?

momomotorboat · 2018-10-17T02:44:31+00:00

u/CainPrice had some solid knowledge there, so shout out to him. I will add that things like anxiety or other emotional issues can lead to this as well. It's becoming more and more common.

I had an ex who had Oppositional Defiance Disorder. She had this obsession with being "in charge" or haranguing whomever she thought was trying to be. As they say, "the juice wasn't worth the squeeze". Just lost interest in her. I could keep 'passing' these 'tests', or just realize she was a naggy bitch and peace out.

That being said, it may be a reflection of you or it may be a reflection of her. Resist the urge to infer that passing her shit tests means that you are getting anything of value.

TheReformist94 · 2018-10-16T22:45:00+00:00

If you're getting shit tested, you simply aren't hot enough and they aren't rele into you. You rele think a girl is going to potentially fuck up receiving chads seed by giving him a shit test? Gtfo

coriollanvs · 2018-10-16T20:29:39+00:00

Love it or leave it. Shit tests are cute.

Title	Shit tests are normal and expected, but don't they turn you off sometimes, or is that just me?
Author	csawyer86
Upvotes	90
Comments	45
Date	October 16, 2018 12:41 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9on8wj/shit_tests_are_normal_and_expected_but_dont_they/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/shit-tests-are-normal-and-expected-but-dont-they.134855 https://theredarchive.com/post/134855

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