Should quiet/introverted guys change their personality for better game?

rpthrowaway871 · 2018-05-24T16:17:02+00:00

What are you trying to accomplish?

If you want to rack up quick fucks and do the bar/club scene you probably should work on becoming more extroverted.

But the general rule is to be yourself. Just be the best version of yourself that you can.

I'm very quiet and introverted. Never been a problem. Actually the biggest problem I've had is overcompensating by trying to be an extrovert and coming across as fake/phony.

NexusReflexX · 2018-05-24T16:23:11+00:00

Im the same way. The way i found works is to cultivate a mindset. People talk too much and say very little.

Be the opposite. When i speak im very direct. I can recall one night ibwas out with my friend at a club. Afterwards he invited a friend and an hb7 to the casino. Ibwas driving listening to music and all 3 of them blabber about stupid shit.

I spoke randomly amd asked a question. Everyone fell silent and i had everyone attention. I havent spoken in about 10v1t minutes at this point, but when i did i had everyones attention.

I dislike the notion of intovert and extrovert. You can be both and neither at the same time. Talk lite and say a lot. Be direct and assertive.

Look at any red pill role models, movies wise. The alpha male can silence a room with a look, doesnt even need to say a word at times.

BurnieSlander · 2018-05-24T17:07:47+00:00

Stop labeling yourself as an introvert. A balanced personality is comprised of both introverted and extroverted qualities.

So yes, you need to develop your extroverted qualities, because it’s likely that you are mostly introverted because you are fearful of certain social interactions and fearful of rejection. IMO the best way to exercise your extrovert muscles is to strike up conversations and ask people questions. Basically, get interested in people- all people, not just girls. Make it a goal to start and carry at least 2 conversations per day- start with older folks- they have time for random conversations and love to talk.

Like another commenter mentioned- don’t think of it as changing who you are- think of it as becoming a better version of yourself

X--Man · 2018-05-24T15:57:56+00:00

If it is better game you seek, then YES, you should improve in these areas. Being quiet and introverted will not help you cultivate abundance. It might get you by, get you a girlfriend, etc... But, you will be limited to the girls that approach you and not the girls you actively seek out.

Trp2166 · 2018-05-24T16:50:06+00:00

A year ago I would’ve said the same thing. I had charisma but I was fine being quiet and would allow bigger personalities who were louder and more self assured to run the show essentially. I fashioned myself as an introvert.

Turns out, I was totally wrong about myself. What I thought of as introversion was actually just social anxiety. And when I felt that going away as a result of “exposure therapy” so to speak, I realized that my natural personality was every bit as abrasive and direct as the chads from my high school who’d dominate a conversation, only difference was that the years of being little more than a third party observer had honed my self awareness and ability to listen.

Bottom line, being introverted is fine but you have to be able to turn on the extroversion so to speak or you’ll always be overlooked by the loud and extroverted “chads”.

XT3M3 · 2018-05-24T19:03:30+00:00

I been quiet and reserved my whole life. and one thing that I started to develop was how to be more out there and what not with a don't give a fuck attitude

you can still be quiet when the TIME is right but you do need to start getting out. find the reason why you are quiet and what not ( there is always a underlying reason). and own it and get over it.

you miss out on so much from being the quiet guy in the room

chazthundergut · 2018-05-24T21:57:16+00:00

Yes and no.

Stay quiet and introverted. That's fine.

But you do need to change yourself. If you're going to be quiet, you need to give off a vibe of masculine energy. Men don't need to be chatty to attract women. But they need to be manly.

So be quiet, but make sure you're still lifting. Let your physical presence and your body language and your quiet, masculine confidence communicate for you.

wafflepiezz · 2018-05-25T02:30:46+00:00

I’m quiet and introverted naturally, but have learned to be extroverted in especially social situations. Try to get a balance of both, but you can be quiet and introverted outside of anything social imo

WhatIsTheMeaningHere · 2018-05-24T17:32:48+00:00

This is what I recommend you do: stop identifying as the quiet/introverted guy. Even more importantly, stop identifying with anything. Don't let anyone push you into a box that can be marketed to. Our only true self is the observer of our experience. You have the power to change your social expression at will; you just have to be conscious about it.

chadjugo · 2018-05-24T18:07:24+00:00

No just be more present to the world around you.

Also have hobbies where youre doing something outside, that way she doesnt assume youre a psycho just b/c you’re quiet.

MattyAnon · 2018-05-24T20:27:31+00:00

you're fine, but outgoing works better

mrHappyPotatoe · 2018-05-24T21:59:50+00:00

You cant change your personality. You can hype yourself up a bit for some extent but it has its limits and cost. You need right environment and long periods of time to really change something.

MentORPHEUS · 2018-05-25T03:35:38+00:00

Do i need to fundamentally change myself and Be more extroverted and talk about myself more?

No! That's a formidible goal, and you might find it hard to shake the internal feeling of being someone-I'm-not. This will be unsatisfying to you, and come off as inconsistent/incongruent/"fake" to others.

What you can do is add extrovert skills to your toolbox.

Dale Carnegie How to win friends and influence people.
Learn assertiveness as opposed to passivity or aggression, look in the AskTRP sidebar --->
Take opportunities for public speaking. For advanced learning, Toastmasters, debate team.
Take opportunities to lead in ad hoc and formal positions.
Learn to "work a room."

With these skills in your toolbox, you can step into "extrovert" roles periodically but still retain and enjoy periods of your natural introverted nature.

You mentioned a goal of LTR which is fine. If you "change into an extrovert" to make it easier to meet women, you'll get somebody all right, only to find yourself in 3-6 months wishing she'd shut the fuck up and just be for once, and she'll always want to be going out with big groups far beyond your "done with people for the day" point.

On dates, it's great to listen to the other party a lot, but keep yourself in the conversational game too. Banter and push-pull keeps you both engaged, and gives her a bit of emotional variation candy. The 2/3 golden ratio is a good reference point for how much to engage versus listen.

Finally, don't let an attributed trait define you. Instead of thinking, "I am an introvert," think, "I tend toward the introvert side of the scale" otherwise it can remain a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Caspero444 · 2018-05-25T07:31:11+00:00

Anyone who has the so called nice guy syndrome is conditioned to try and win the approval of women especially if they're attractive mentally and physically. The only way some of us can step out of this and see what dgaf looks like is when/if we go on a date with someone truly hideous. It's hard to change these behaviors but maybe just try to visualize how you would act on a date with someone that you found very unattractive

Title	Should quiet/introverted guys change their personality for better game?
Author	necropoly
Upvotes	11
Comments	25
Date	May 24, 2018 3:49 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8ltorw/should_quietintroverted_guys_change_their/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/should-quietintroverted-guys-change-their.98137 https://theredarchive.com/post/98137

Comments