Single dads on Tinder

KirthWGersen · 2018-08-23T11:46:45+00:00

I'm 44. Two kids, 11 and 8. They live with me one week on, one week off. When they are not with me I pick them up from school. So I get to see them almost every day.

I certainly don't put pictures of my kids on Tinder. That implies you are looking for a mother for your children, or at least someone who would be involved with them.

I never introduce women to my kids because I don't want women appearing in and disappearing from their lives. It would be fun for me to share that part of my life with women, but I don't think it would be fair on the kids. I wouldn't meet their kids either, though most women I meet on Tinder or at parties are single. Maybe after I had known them for a couple of years and knew they would be a stable part of my life.

I initially thought mentioning having kids would lose me points on a date. I could not have been more wrong. Women's eyes light up. You don't want to be talking about them all the time, but mentioning them once in a while is fine.

One FWB, Russian, ten years younger than me, recently said to me, "By the time you get to my age, you know that any guy who have never been married or hasn't got kids is a jerk." It makes them see you in a different way. More responsible, safer or something.

A couple of women have mentioned that the fact I have kids means I won't be able to spend so much time with them or focus so much on them. I tell them that is true, that those two people are the most important people in my life and that whatever happens between us they will always be my priority. They definitely liked me more after that. It's a shit test.

Some women probably think that I can't meet up sometimes because of family commitments (when I am actually meeting their rivals).

It does mean I live a kind of dual life. One week full on with the kids, early nights, hobbies, work, sensible stuff. And one week out with women every night. Luckily there are plenty of women around where I live who are self-employed or work nearby, so lunchtime meet-ups are also an option.

All in all, I have been shocked to discover that being middle-aged, having kids and a demanding but rewarding job and limited time has actually made me more successful with women than I could ever have imagined in my 20s. Life just seems to get better and better and many things I imagined would be obstacles are actually benefits.

It actually helps you be more aloof and outcome independent (you have other priorities). Plus, they can't press for commitment because they know living with you is never going to happen.

BlackMarmoset · 2018-08-23T11:32:22+00:00

Are you looking for a step mother or for a girl to have fun with?

BusterVadge · 2018-08-23T11:59:17+00:00

Don't put pics of your kids up there. Tinder is for fucking and the last thing a chick wants to see if pics of your family.

Match dot com is a different story, but Tinder... No.

CainPrice · 2018-08-23T14:02:14+00:00

No pictures of kids on dating sites. That implies you are looking for serious dating. You aren't looking for a mother for your kids. You're looking for a lady friend when you don't have them with you.

Don't lie about not having them or try to hide them. Just don't write a dating site profile about how your kids are the light of your life and bullshit like that. Insert "2" or whatever the correct number is in the # of kids blank, then write normal shit in your profile.

Title	Single dads on Tinder
Author	LunarTears0
Upvotes	0
Comments	10
Date	August 23, 2018 11:27 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/99mkib/single_dads_on_tinder/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/single-dads-on-tinder.131027 https://theredarchive.com/post/131027

Comments