What are some boundaries you have?

resolutions316 · 2017-06-12T13:38:18+00:00

I am working on this.

Part of the process - THE major part of the process, I believe - is getting in touch with your own emotions and understanding where YOUR boundaries are.

There is no such thing as a "healthy" or "right" boundary. There are only YOUR boundaries.

To start, pay attention to your emotions. When you feel angry, stressed, upset, bitter - these are signs your boundaries are being crossed. Pay attention. Think about what happened - write it out. What caused those emotions?

That's the start.

DJVendetta · 2017-06-12T16:57:45+00:00

Let me just say that it's better if you don't consciously think about it and actually BECOME alpha.

For the first few months of my relationship I went along with the idea that she could leave at any moment. This meant that I called her out on her bullshit, "I'm not your father, grow up" and "okay, leave then" for example.

As soon as we 'fell in love' i became afraid and you can guess what happened next...

JinSantosAndria · 2017-06-12T13:42:29+00:00

Listen. Both ways. Just pretending to do so, humming, then repeating the same thing I just told / was told leads to pure rage sooner or later. If you have only smalltalk topics indicate that if possible. If you do not have time to listen, make it clear.

Do not interrupt when the other one is talking, if you can avoid it.

The one person with the healthier money spending habbits decides on the budgets. Both parties get a hobby-fund granted if required. Both parties need to review their last months spending together without shame. This is for LTR, never let a plate mess with your money. Violating the budget for non-emergencies is an absolute no-go.

Someone fucks around, everything is over. You respect me, I respect you.

If you need a timeout, say so and why. Learn from it, space is even more important in an LTR. Try to establish something together and something apart. Dancing around that topic will lead to stupid decisions.

Not everything will work out, but every bit that does, will help.

HardPuns · 2017-06-12T13:45:00+00:00

Don't be a slut would be one.

Don't dress like a slut, and act like one.

You can dress sexy, but not slutty. If I see your boobs or ass in public, demoted.

If you go out, demoted.

If you drink, demoted.

If you have mostly male friends because "no drama", nope.

If high n-count, nope.

If you talk to your exes, nope.

If you went back to an ex, nope.

(These things are things that put up with in my last LTR, pre redpill, and I won't tolerate those)

Ta9645 · 2017-06-12T14:04:29+00:00

Keep the skelatons in your closet, in your closet. She will find out eventually but not from you, and if she does its a slow fed drip. Never be that guy who is suddenly a emotional wreck in front of a girl.

Vesperous · 2017-06-12T14:24:16+00:00

Don't ask us what ours are, that won't help you.

You know what makes you angry. You know what you don't want her to do.

Don't get caught up in some of these fools on here saying you shouldn't care if she brings up another guy or is texting one in front of you, being a true alpha would mean you don't give a shit what other guys think, and if you don't like something, you will tell a girl to stop or walk away if she doesn't.

I will not deal with that because that's a waste of my time if she's on her phone with anyone or doing anything other then being attentive to me and doing what I want her to do.

I'll leave if she looks at her phone without asking permission first.

I'll leave if she talks about some other guy because I don't want to hear that shit.

Being alpha isn't about reading these articles on here although they do help, being truly alpha is know what YOU will not accept and what YOU do about it.

Here are a few of mine in case you do want an example of what a fellow alpha male doesn't want a girl doing with him.

Will not use her phone without asking in my presence

Will not bring up other guys or other people I don't like. (Not from a position of insecurity but rather I don't want to hear about these people and want the interaction to be influenced and led by me, not any outside influence)

Will not bother me with her complaints about anything

Will not ask me for anything. (I may offer to buy her a drink but she will not ask me for one)

Will not argue with me or annoy me in anyway (I will leave if she does)

Is not allowed to hang out with guys other then me

I have an ltr that is an 8 and two plates that are above seven, believe me, I know what I'm talking about when I tell you to not listen to other people's boundaries. You know yours, you are your own man and do not need to set anyone else's boundaries, set your own. If you do want more advice though, feel free to message me.

DubbleFUPAwitCheez · 2017-06-12T21:31:22+00:00

The entry point for a 'healthy' relationship MUST be her asking for it. If you pop that question you made a mistake. A girl that really likes you can't stand the idea of you running around banging chicks and a proponent of a chicks attraction is her thinking other chicks want to fuck you and are.

Once that is achieved you have enough hand to set boundaries for things as they come along but expect blow back. They're women but they're still human, which means you can expect a similar reaction to how you would react when told you can't do something. The difference is they are a woman and you are a man. Your frame should be stronger than hers, up to and including the willingness to walk out. That's where the pretense from before comes in handy, she will know that you won't have trouble out there so she has little power and will comply.

Main take away is don't be petty about what you decide is worth fighting over. They aren't robots that can be programmed to perfection. Choose a few that you personally can't stand the thought of and live by those. In essence choose the hills you're willing to have the relationship die on and the others just work with as they come because remember that boundaries are the lines they can't cross, ever. Not just some troublesome bull shit.

mcscratchandsniff · 2017-06-15T05:18:51+00:00

If you put leftovers in the fridge, write down that they're in there on the whiteboard that's on the fridge.
Don't fuck with anything on my desk.
Cold hands on me anywhere are fine except my balls.

Title	What are some boundaries you have?
Author	EatDrinkBeHappy
Upvotes	9
Comments	55
Date	June 12, 2017 12:38 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6gryb2/what_are_some_boundaries_you_have/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/what-are-some-boundaries-you-have.92490 https://theredarchive.com/post/92490

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