5-7 Matches a day but no dates...

InstructionsUncl34r · 2026-01-21T13:55:40+00:00

There are so many people purely using the apps for validation, you’re kinda doing the right thing moving quickly cos you filter them out, serious people want to meet after a little bit of a vibe of a chat

PainKilla17 · 2026-01-21T15:45:22+00:00

You’re doing it wrong.

After you ask “Do you wanna grab coffee?”, your immediate next move should be scheduling the date, time and place to solidify the plan. You’re confusing it by moving the conversation to IG, losing the momentum and sounding undecisive.

Further, by connecting everyone on IG you’re putting extra effort on yourself to manage everyone. Don’t do that until the first date goes well. Keep everyone on the dating app where the expectations are low. The whole process should take about 3-5 days in total.

water_reducer · 2026-01-21T16:09:46+00:00

There are always tiers, attraction never has been and never will be binary in a yes or no categorization. Even on a platform like dating apps which tries its hardest to make it that way, there is always a hierarchy. Some guys never get any matches, some get a few, others get many. Of those who get matches most need to message first, some can get away with just saying “hi” and she will do the rest of the heavy lifting, others need to up their text game. A very small percentage of men on the apps will have the girls messaging first. Only the chosen few will see her in person.

Regardless, whichever path guys take to attract women, it’s always about leveling up in some way, whether it’s your look, your pics, your text game, your venues/ locations, your social circle, etc.

Unfortunately for most guys, there isn’t much in the way of guidance in how to excel in this part of life so most people, including the coaches just make it up as they go along. Some don’t want to think about it at all and just chalk it up to the randomness of the algorithm of life as a numbers game.

ImpossibleWaiting · 2026-01-21T14:59:39+00:00

Maybe don't use random openers and try to connect instead? Use her photos to tease her. Mostly just tease a girl and come up with some myth about her that's obviously not true but fun. Put her in a teasing box and force her to climb out of it. Create attraction before you move towards setting up the date. Text for a few days in short time frames, show your value and have fun. Then setup the date. You'll be able to tell who's a time waster by seeing how well they reply.

JackSquirts · 2026-01-21T14:15:13+00:00

Aside from coming on really strong and cheesy - love castle? lol - yes, you need to chat a bit to build trust, comfort, and attraction. 3-5 back and forths is usually enough over a couple of days. Unless I find yourself engaging in a really fun/interesting convo, 10 is about the max.

When I'm doing OLD, I get on once a day to message. If I catch them and they message back quickly, I might get into a short back and forth, otherwise it's one message replying to theirs. Opener catches attention, you make another fun/flirty comment and ask another question, then start angling for the date. I mention "our date" within the first few messages and if they bite on it, set up a date immediately. If they don't and it's still flirty/engaging, I'll do another couple messages before officially calling for a date.

Generally, I'm on a date within 5-7 days or at least committed to one. OLD is largely a numbers game, so play the numbers, don't get invested before any date (or even after a few), and embrace the volume. I max out juggling about 10 matches at once, but works best with about half of that.

NerosxSucks-Neros · 2026-01-22T15:36:07+00:00

What does your profile look like? People tell me I'm good looking and I get a ton of attention in person but nothing works for me online

ultratraditionalist · 2026-01-21T14:25:22+00:00

5-7 matches a day is very good, assuming they're decent. I'd usually get that in a week, but I'm quite picky and I'm 40 with my filters at 18-30. The strategy early isn't so much "game," it's just pure filtering until you meet imo. My message (usually just copy-pasted) is "hey [Name], I'm not super into dating apps, can I just get your # and we can grab drinks, a small bite, and see if we vibe" It works ~80% of the time. I prefer phone # over ig because it's a bit more intimate and helps cut through some of the noise (if she's cute, she probably has like 300 unread DMs waiting for her).

Some women will give you the run-around (blah blah I don't feel safe giving random guys my number etc.), which is fine, those aren't serious prospects anyway. If they had some bad experience with a weirdo incel, that's not really your problem, so trying to turn these maybes into yeses is almost never worth it. The most fun I've had is with enthusiastic women that want you to lead and want to have a fun time.

I think waiting to set up a date is a mistake and I've got tons of data to prove this. If she doesn't want to go out with you day 1, she won't want to go out with you by day 5. You can't built comfort or rapport over text. Like the old saying goes: text is for logistics. Was kind of running a test last year and after I matched with this cute artsy girl and got her #, I was extremely curt with my texts (I'd even call it rude, given that I'm a very warm person), but on the date she told me how much it turned her on, which surprised me. There was very little back and forth, it went something like "hey, you around later this week for a fun date? I'll handle reservations" and like just one more text before we actually met.

At the end of the day, if you want to chat with her, chat with her (sometimes I do, as well)--in other words, do whatever makes you feel good and whatever feels right. But realistically, I don't think that texting actually increases the chances of her going on a date with you.

FearInoculumTool · 2026-01-22T20:52:37+00:00

Sounds like you have a self defeating belief that drives you to qualify or prove yourself to women by trying to be super funny or cute or whatever. This comes across as needy.

You need to behave like a man who is so hot that he doesn’t need to convince any woman to go out with him and if you are talking to her; it’s because you are doing her a favor. If you want to do this right, thinking of something like this:

“Hey, saw your application for the girlfriend position come in. Reviewing now but fyi, it’s going to be a long and competitive process.”

If that is intrigues her she might ask:

“So what’s the next step in the process?”

Then just tease her making some ridiculous list of requirements or you might write: “the next step is an assignment. I want to see how effective you are at asking a man out. I’m willing to volunteer as the test subject”.

If she gives you a hard time like:

“lol, does this ever work with girls?”, you need to have a witty response. You might say something like:

“Let me check with my other girlfriend”.

Title	5-7 Matches a day but no dates...
Author	Plenty_Revolution_18
Upvotes	6
Comments	23
Date	January 21, 2026 1:51 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1qiyeuj/57_matches_a_day_but_no_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/5-7-matches-a-day-but-no-dates.1571666 https://theredarchive.com/post/1571666

Comments