6 First Date Tips That Are Actually Useful

bl1y · 2014-08-07T16:15:58+00:00

Good advice, though I'd just add two things:

(1) Under using the environment to your advantage, a big thing to look for are dates where the environment provides a common subject for conversation. For instance, a zoo or art exhibit will give you tons of things you can use for conversation. This works really well because it simulates what being in a relationship is like. Relationships aren't a constant exchange of resume info, it's enjoying life together. It's good for both building rapport quickly, and also for testing the waters to see if you want a relationship with this person.

Side note about museums: Going to a traditional museum can make you look very try hard, especially if it's not the type of art you generally enjoy. Many cities will have more contemporary exhibits. For instance, the Strathmore museum in Bethesda recently had an exhibition on comic books, and one on (I think) bossa nova music, and this winter is doing an exhibit where classical works are reproduced in miniature. With stuff like that you can have a fun conversation, rather than feeling like you have to show off how cultured you are.

(2) "Get her to admit she sees you in a romantic context"

I'm just generally against this sort of phrasing. We usually "admit" things we think are wrong. Maybe others read it differently, but to me it sounds like "Get her to admit she likes you even though she really shouldn't."

SouthpawTheLionheart · 2014-08-07T19:44:47+00:00

Now to get a date.

NickNotas · 2014-08-07T18:32:45+00:00

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bubbles_says · 2014-08-08T01:24:27+00:00

Your mindset should be:

“Who is she? What are her values, interests, and aspirations? Does she have a good sense of humor? Is she worth my time, energy, and investment?”

And for women..."Who is HE? What are his values, interests...."

911-turboS · 2014-08-07T20:52:02+00:00

Thanks! One of the greatest article I have read on Reddit.

Sock_Puppet_Orgy · 2014-08-07T21:35:20+00:00

It may just be that I'm not as open as others here, but I would never say “I think it’s sexy you’re so dedicated to your career.” Something about that just sounds so... discordant. I wouldn't consider a women's job of, say, conducting research in molecular biology to be sexy at all. Interesting, sure, but not sexy.

Otherwise, great article. I'm usually skeptical toward these kinds of advice pieces, but this one was a breath of fresh air.

NickNotas · 2014-08-07T17:28:11+00:00

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Andrian-TQM · 2014-08-07T16:24:19+00:00

Is this your response to this? Good advice btw!

RMNP_alright · 2014-08-07T20:39:32+00:00

I would put a response of "I don't kids on a first date" on the neutral category. Especially if it's accompanied by a smile.

The important thing of course, is that you go for it. She may balk, but if she goes on a second date with you she will likely be intending for the kiss to happen then.

mranomalous300 · 2014-08-07T21:04:15+00:00

Good read

jbmoskow · 2014-08-09T03:37:07+00:00

I was about to re-post some of what the article mentioned but I think that everything there was spot on.

TAKE MY WORD FOR IT, I wish I had read this prior to going on a date about a month ago, because I completely punted it.

I think the #1 take away for me is: Don't interrupt her, and don't talk too much.

WhatIWannaSay · 2014-08-07T23:49:32+00:00

(From the article)

You have no idea whether or not this girl is good for you. Stop trying to win over someone you barely know.

Your mindset should be:

“Who is she? What are her values, interests, and aspirations? Does she have a good sense of humor? Is she worth my time, energy, and investment?”

This is fantastic/crucial advice, but beware- once you adopt this mindset fully, you realize that half the women out there aren't worth more than a minute of your time (possibly not even a few seconds of eye contact), half of the remaining women aren't worth more than an hour or two (name your activity), and the rest are a grab-bag of more/less enriching interactions. This is depending upon where you meet them, of course, so it helps to be selective in what sorts of groups you surround yourself with. I speak of the general population, however; and all ideals/bullshit aside, it ain't pretty (even if her face is). And this spans the attractiveness range. This mindset, however valuable, makes it fairly frustrating trying to find decent relationships (whatever form they may take). Quality over quantity is the next step after your late-teens/early-twenties escapades.

You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad... until you learn how to be the Tao.

Gamma_Male_ · 2014-08-08T02:38:10+00:00

Good post. Here is a video from Richard LaRuina on the same topic.

readonlyuser · 2014-08-08T16:25:14+00:00

These are great points to hear, although I don't believe they are all that different compared to most date advice in the community.

Thanks for the content!

HuskyPandaBear · 2014-08-08T17:14:25+00:00

I have the "I don't want to Fuck this up" mindset. How do I fix that?

BlackhawkRogueNinjaX · 2014-08-08T06:52:35+00:00

Written from the perspective of a guy trying to please a girl. Best first dates are the ones where you are both prepared to try, both are interested, and both are relaxed and open.

Calamanation · 2014-08-07T21:51:30+00:00

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Title	6 First Date Tips That Are Actually Useful
Author	NickNotas
Upvotes	570
Comments	38
Date	August 7, 2014 3:29 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2cw2ph/6_first_date_tips_that_are_actually_useful/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/6-first-date-tips-that-are-actually-useful.1374741 https://theredarchive.com/post/1374741

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