Not going into too many details, but I was essentially forbidden from speaking to women in my formative years/ adolescence. Homeschooling sure went well. 🙂 But rather than play victim, I joined the military for 5 years to branch myself out, and spent it going to the gym, getting a few skills, and generally improving myself. I am now trying to learn talking to women. Better late than never at 25, I guess.

But one of the issues I have is from not having prior positive social experiences with women to root my confidence in. I hear the term “preselection” and “social proof” get thrown around a lot, and it probably seems obvious to the women I approach that I don’t have it since I’m typically out by myself. (I typically approach at the gym, in department stores, or at the supermarket. Beautiful women seem to love Target, but I digress.)

Preselection is described as already having success with women, and the sense of confidence and self assurance that comes with it. The part I’m frustrated about is how is a man who is inexperienced with women supposed to become experienced with them if they require you to be “preselected” beforehand? Like, I’m talking to women so that I can GAIN that success and experience.

I’ll often see “success stories” on this subreddit where men talk about how they were previously bad at game and then blossomed into casanovas, only for them to mention that they had 3 or 4 girlfriends before in high school and college. Like, what? You were horrible with women yet had multiple relationships with them?

I’d just like some explanation as to how an inexperienced man like myself should approach preselection. It reminds me of job applications describing their “entry-level job” as requiring at least several years of experience.