A question for the Community: Why is it that the Seduction Community puts no effort on finding love?

robot_army_mutiny · 2013-04-27T15:55:57+00:00

truly love

I hope you are a troll, or very young. With a little experience in life, you realize that things like soul mates and true love are Western myths. Not that love doesn't exist, and you can't be happy with one person your whole life. But love is an overused word that has lost all meaning due to the hype around it.

Most guys fall "in love" with one of the first women that will have sex with them and play them well (kind of the female form of seduction, with is more focused on making a guy into a good boyfriend/husband). But while they do love them, those guys don't realize how much better of a relationship they could have if they shopped around more. Because, hey, sex!!! Men are programmed by our society to expect very little from their mates. So most guys just feel lucky to have a girlfriend, or to be getting laid fairly regularly, when the truth is that he is usually doing much more for her than vice/versa. But because of TV (think "Everybody Loves Raymond" if you want a good example of the beta husband that our society expects) and society at large, those guys put up with nearly anything just to hold onto that (a girlfriend/regular sex).

When you learn how to easily seduce women, sex no longer gives women such power over you. Once that power is gone, you can truly evaluate a woman based on her real merits, and a relationship based on it's merits.

Having sex with a lot of women helps you realize that women don't control you with access to their pussy. And while most women will use that to their advantage, most of them really don't want a guy who is so easily manipulated - they would rather have someone they respect. So a man having the power to take or leave any one certain woman actually helps both partners be in a better relationship.

Sex with lots of women also lets you "sow your wild oats," so you can kind of get that phase over with (if you want it to be over with).

But mostly, seduction isn't about love and lasting relationships because that just isn't the topic at hand. Seduction is a tool. You can use seduction to have sex with 100 women, or to meet 1 woman and marry her. Seduction is the art of getting women to sleep with you (voluntarily, lol). What you do after is another topic. So in the seduction community, we talk about how to best get women to have sex with us.

It's like the difference between making money and saving money - they are two different areas of financial life, and seduction and relationships are two different parts of your love life - although both things coincide and overlap.

Also, a lot of guys would rather have sex with 100 women than have "true love" with 1 woman. Right now, I sure would.

Read The Game. The moral of the story is (supposedly) how Style could not have found "real love" without first learning seduction.

thesupreme333 · 2013-04-27T15:35:46+00:00

I think of it this way. You're just a man out in a lake by his lonesome. If you never cast your line you'll never catch a fish. So if you never approach a girl, you'll never get the girl. Seduction teaches you what bait to use to attract what fish you're chasing. When to reel them in, where to go, what time of day etc. You'll always need something to "hook" a girl and catch her interest.

When you cast your line, do you know what fish bit the hook? No you don't. You don't know much about her other than she's on your hook. You won't know 'till she reveals herself. Love is finding that perfect fish, the one you will be proud to say you've caught for a lifetime. You won't catch this fish the first time or the 10th time. You'll need to experiment, learn from your mistakes. Sure, some of us will catch a bunch of little fish, but we will just take one look at then and maybe throw them back in the water. We don't need them and no use in keeping something we don't want.

It isn't that we aren't putting any effort into finding love, we are making every effort to catch our dream fish. But we're still fishing. We're still reeling in fish we don't give a fuck about. Just how it is and how it should be. Once we find a fish worth keeping, we take them home and eat them out. These are all the medium fish or the really pretty and colorful fish, or maybe a particular species of fish that you're partial to. But we want that one fish where we frame it and put it on our walls, the fish we tell our friends about and the struggle to catch it, the one your willing to wake up every morning and smile to yourself as you drink your morning coffee. That is -your- fish, you're pride and joy.

I hope this clears things up!

gwarster · 2013-04-27T14:39:30+00:00

Well in order to actually find love, you do need to seduce a bit... that being said, I agree. I've been single for about 6 weeks now after being in a relationship for 7 years. While these 6 weeks have been fun, I'm starting to realize that what I already knew and what I've learned here are powerful tools. At first I was concerned that after being single, it would be hard for me to get laid and have someone to wake up next to. Now I'm starting to think that I just need more time alone. I can literally get laid any night I want to, and its difficult to reconcile that with the fact that I used to think that it was hard to screw women.

I guess what I'm saying is that /r/seduction is great for what it is, but it operates from the perspective that getting women is difficult. It really isn't. And when you start to view it as difficult, it can cloud your judgement a bit.

HectorGM · 2013-04-27T15:22:03+00:00

It's a false dichotomy you've proposed, and a completely unrealistic view of emotional intimacy. Say you choose to meet your "true love" rather than the hook ups...well, how exactly do YOU propose to attract her to you? Women are individuals and persons, not objects of love.

kaxtar · 2013-04-27T14:08:04+00:00

I know that anyone would rather meet one person they truly love than having 100 meaningless hookups so I was wondering if there was an answer.

Not true

And how the hell do you think you're gonna find that one person you truly love if you don't meet 100 women first lol

porcupine-free · 2013-04-27T14:12:48+00:00

I don't know much about the seduction community, as I don't really follow forums or even seddit much, but I keep a passive eye on it once every couple months. However, because I have so many RL friends involved in some sort of social engineering or other, I have been purchasing or somehow else acquiring through them a few programs from some of these seduction guys. They are all different, very different from each other, as you peruse them. One of them (tao of badass) struck me as interesting because the guy who teaches it says the entire point of him learning so-called seduction skills was so "I can attract my wife when I meet her". Yet another one of the programs sold itself as a seduction tool but when you go through the material it is all self improvement and how to deeply connect with all people on a genuine level. I've read some material as well and a lot of it seems to have decent intentions. So I dunno what kind of exposure you have had to this scene but that is the kind of thing I have been receiving thus far. However, I have heard similar questions as yours from other people and am not really sure what to think of the whole seduction thing.
At any rate, I'm curious how this op question will be received, so I'm commenting just to keep an eye on it short of clicking save. I don't know how fair or unfair a question it is based on my limited knowledge.

the_brick_attack · 2013-04-27T17:38:59+00:00

I can understand where you are coming from due to the jargon used in the subculture. The thing that must be understood is that this is a sweeping generalization of the community, and quite frankly, offensive. I want nothing more than to find a woman with whom I am compatible. To do that, I am going to go through meeting hundreds of women because I'm realizing who I am and what I want. The divorce rate is so incredibly high in this country because of the view you hold onto. It's romanticized and then the world hits you like a ton of bricks.

After investing time in seduction you learn some vital things:

1) The best women out there want a man! They want a man who can convey his sexuality, keep emotional stability, and has comfort and dignity in who he is. They don't want a guy who bends over backwards for them to get laid. Some girls might like that, but I want nothing to do with them. I want the ones who want me as a man, where I have to challenge myself daily. I want a woman who knows I can be romantic, but only because I desire her, not because I want her to notice me.

2) Women get dressed up and in their groups because they want to be hit on. They want to go home and tell their friends on the way how "so and so" tried, or how another guy was really hot and approached. They are just as sexual as you or me.

3) If you meet an amazing woman, yes, you can start a relationship. She's only "the one" after you've both declared that by either putting a ring on each others fingers under an altar, or by committing to each other romantically in a monogamous manner.

4) With your current view, you're going to get your heart broken. A lot! Name five men you look up to, and realize they probably all fit the standards of seddit more than a soppy romance film. Hollywood makes money off your emotions and fantasies more than porn. Don't buy into that crap you see in cinema.

Cylindral · 2013-04-27T15:08:25+00:00

You're coming from the assumption that hookups are meaningless and that "true love" is only meant for one person only. That's not true. It's quite an outdated view of emotions and relationships, imo.

OutlawPUA · 2013-04-28T03:48:59+00:00

It's what we're all in the game for, isn't it? To eventually find the perfect partner?

frogma · 2013-04-28T05:26:00+00:00

Others have answered this better than I can, but some points:

You must not have browsed here very long, because I'd estimate about 90% (or more) of the guys here are looking for a long-term relationship, and their main issue is that they're having a hard time striking up conversations and progressing with women. I'd say about 95% (or more) of the guys here haven't had more than 10 sexual partners in their lives, let alone anything close to 100. Do some guys want to randomly fuck 100 women? Eh, maybe, but let's worry about that when it's actually relevant.
Most guys here don't have much of an issue with carrying on a conversation once they get past a certain point. Seddit spends a lot of time talking about how to get to that point. People tend to fail more often than they succeed, so again, it's not about having 100 meaningless hookups. Many guys aren't having any, which is the bigger issue.
I disagree with the mentality that hookups are "meaningless." I usually have to vibe really well with a girl if I'm gonna be fucking her. Then afterwards, I might want to see her again, or I might not. If I do, then... that's what I do, and sometimes it turns into a longer relationship. It's no different than what you do, I'm just trying to do it more efficiently without wasting as much time.
Coinciding with the last point -- some people truly don't feel the same way as you do. Some people really aren't looking for that one special person. They're totally happy (and likely happier) to be having short flings with many women. Guys who do that likely also have fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, and will probably end up in quite a few shorter-term relationships regardless. All while poor Joe Schmo is still searching for that one true love while getting no pussy whatsoever -- likely because his strategy is all wrong.
Coinciding with 4, like I said about the strategy, talking to many women and fucking many women is 100% guaranteed to lead to more opportunities (that's just how numbers work).

You mentioned that seddit doesn't discuss things like "finding the right partner," or something. If you browsed a bit more, you'd find that we do indeed do exactly that. We talk about going to the right places to find people who share your interests, we talk about qualifying (which is basically where you gauge the person to see if they're the type of person you'd actually want to spend time with), and primarily, we talk about how to actually progress the relationship. We even talk about dating fairly often -- though most people here believe you shouldn't be acting much differently when you're dating someone, so most of the advice about seduction will also apply to dating (thus, it'd be redundant to repeat that advice).

In terms of "finding love," be the change you wish to see. Make a post offering advice on it. I'd make one myself, except like I said, the advice I'd give is basically the same advice I give in regard to meeting and dating a person. Honestly, I really can't think of anything more that would need to be said about "finding love." If you can give some examples, I'd appreciate it.

Title	A question for the Community: Why is it that the Seduction Community puts no effort on finding love?
Author	kaxtar
Upvotes	1
Comments	25
Date	April 27, 2013 1:51 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1d7r98/a_question_for_the_community_why_is_it_that_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/a-question-for-the-community-why-is-it-that-the.1300783 https://theredarchive.com/post/1300783

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