recently my confidence has been improving a lot. the only problem is i sometimes i feel like checking myself because the voice in the back of my head is saying "you're taking it too far now, relax". Im just trying to be careful not to become someone who just un-likable because im too arrogant or confrontational. i've been a lot more defensive and assertive recently. I'm not a violent person but i dont want to come across as too intimidating - there's a fine line between standing your ground and stomping on someone else's toes. then in come's the idea that it might just be my self doubt trying to return me to my old ways of being a complete pussy and letting everyone walk all over me.

for example, the other day i was hanging out with my mates, and one of them asked us advice on what he should do about a situation between him and his girlfriend. most of them suggested things like "just wait til she calms down" or "apologize, you've already lost the argument" but my advice was along the lines of "tell her to fuck off" and apparently this was unnecessarily brutal... my line of thinking here was "don't let her have all the power, stand up for yourself, shes trying to manipulate you" what is the right call? I dont know.

I feel like a lot of my life is defined by internal battles like this, not knowing which side of me to trust. its like life is a set of forked roads where you have to choose your path, but at the minute im lost in one of those really confusing highway interchanges with so many different directions to pick from that im not sure where to go, so i just circle around.