Am i scaring them away?

cmiovino · 2015-04-20T17:37:34+00:00

I've been doing a lot of daygame and have been sticking to the easy stuff. No grand openers, etc... just "Hey, reach out hand who are you?"... they always answer, I repeat their name and introduce myself. Usually with a "I just saw you sitting here and though you might be an interesting person"... usually from there, it goes into the bland. 9/10 girls are not up to anything interesting when just sitting around or walking somewhere.

If I'm on a college campus, I banter back and forth about their major, if they're going to fail the test they're studying for, etc. Anytime I can't get something like that going, the girl turns cold, the conversion drops off, etc.

I think your approach turns into being 'that creepy guy' on the street asking where a girl is going... and she thinks you're going to follow her, murder her, and stick her body in the desert somewhere..... lol.

Tend to stay away from 'what are you doing?' and 'where are you going?' types of things as easy as they are to fall back on. It creeps at least half of them out.

recyclablebantha · 2015-04-20T17:48:24+00:00

I'm stuck at when i talk to girls i stop finding them attractive after like 10 sec after conversation, i approach both day and in clubs.

Look, you don't need to come up with a long list of things to talk about. In fact, if you start going on about your interests or what you want in a girl, then you're still going to shut down the conversation.

Why?

Because girls (and people in general, really) want connection out of a conversation. You don't connect by getting at talking points. You connect by listening to the person you're talking to. The beauty is, if you simply pay attention, the girl will give you all the material you need to have a conversation with her.

My daygame example would be 5 mins ago, i saw a cute girl, jumped of my bike next to her and asked for her name, she answered, then i asked where she was going and she said "this way" and started to nervously blipping around on her phone, it went silent and i took of. One thing might be that when she turned her face to me, she was not that pretty, maybe she felt that. But it is always like this, 20-30 sec of conversation as long as i am leading it then it's all quiet.

This comes off as if you surprised her in a bad way, by suddenly jumping off of your bike and asking for her name. Her short answers show that she was uncomfortable almost immediately. Which says to me that you might have been so focused on acting and not so focused on her state. You have to be aware of her emotional state and the overall situation, if you want to improve here.

In the clubs i usually just walk around giving my hand to good looking girls and give them a hug and ask them for their name(they usually say their name before i can ask lol), dance around with them for a sec, they touch me, i touch them but then it all cools of. it feels like i got the approach, the touching but not the long run. Sometimes i just make out with them because i have nothing to say lol. But after that it's just quiet and awkward.

Overall, you seem fine in the confidence department. Now you just have to tune into the girls a little more. Right now it comes off as if you're just plowing through, trying to get as far as you can before you're shut down. The problem is that seduction is a team sport. If you don't get her onboard immediately, she WILL shut you down. But if you get her on your side, she'll pull half of the weight, help make things happen, and fend off all other guys who want to get at her.

Iloveyou-Iknow · 2015-04-20T18:54:13+00:00

I used to have your problem in the beginning. Think of yourself as a ship. You have no destination, you don't know where you are going, so you end up sailing in circles.

What do you want out of this interaction? Do you want her phone number? Do you want to take her home? Do you want an instant date?

Set your goal before beginning.

Next, you are a man, your duty in an interaction with a female is TO LEAD.

You have to know the steps to reach your goal by heart. You follow them and guide her through those steps.

Do you want the phone number of every girl you approach? Then think of a way.

You: What's your name?
Her: Blah blah
You: I think you're cute, but I'm not sure about you yet. Let's meet up later and hang out. I MUST read your palm, I'm really good at it, promise not to break down in tears though.

Polarize her. Make your intention known from the beginning.

Indirect approaches, direct approaches, opinion openers..

When you approach a woman, she bloody well knows that you are trying to pick her up. At least make it a damn good pick up so she can't reject you for the reasons she rejects every other guy.

Another way is to create tension early on.

You: Hey you (smile). Did you break your bottle of perfume this morning? (women take GREAT CARE in how they smell) Her: No why?
You: Well.. I could smell you from a mile away, I actually followed the scent. Don't worry, you smell good. There is something sexy about it. But maybe too much.... (tension builds, she doesnt know if you're serious or joking) You're the prettiest girl I smelled today though, what's your name? (smile) Her: (laugh) Thank you, I'm blah blah
You: Then again you're the first today, so it can only go up from there..

Just an example but create tension, women are addicted to it. No interaction that starts nice and ends nice every goes anywhere unless you had some preselection switch (your name is Brad Pitt, you drive a ferrari etc..) Sexual communication, eye contact, be honest with your intention.

By showing that you can tease her like an old friend and that you don't really need her, you avoid giving off needy/stalker vibes from the beginning.

Remember: Boring small talk kills attraction.

ScepticalProphet · 2015-04-21T04:45:15+00:00

Your day game sounds creepy. A stranger jumping off a bike and asking where you're going? =/

ratisse · 2015-04-20T16:49:52+00:00

It could be a couple different things.

You could be a bit uncalibrated and not realize it.
You could be running out of things to say.
You could be creeping them out by the things you say.
She hasn't connected enough with you to feel comfortable investing in getting to know you/sharing about herself.

Come up with two lists.

One being ten things you enjoy doing or are passionate about. The second being ten things/qualities you like in women.

Talk about those things.

It does a couple things.

You'll have things to fall back on if you space on what to say.
Helps give you more time to break the ice and allows her to assess you as a person, relax and be comfortable with you.
Things you really like doing/passionate about. When people talk about these things usually that passion they feel for them comes out in words. People are attracted to and mesmerized by people who are passionate. People are like mirrors. So when you are happy their mirror receptors kick in, they feel those feelings and reflect them. Same goes for sad, passionate, aroused and anything else you feel.
If she does like you and you tell her what you are into with women, they will access parts of themselves and take on some of those traits you like.
Reciprocation. Allows her to feel comfortable and compelled to share with you what she likes/ is passionate about/ is into about guys. You might have to ask, but it'll be easier to get that info.

Title	Am i scaring them away?
Author	Haanes03
Upvotes	19
Comments	20
Date	April 20, 2015 4:35 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/338ziv/am_i_scaring_them_away/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/am-i-scaring-them-away.1386973 https://theredarchive.com/post/1386973

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