Anyone else feel empty after ons ?

Few_Competition_1989 · 2025-11-07T09:48:13+00:00

When you are new to this you tend to think hooking up a lot will make your life better but once you do hook up a lot you realize that there are other things that matter more. I feel old saying this lol.

Hooking up is still amazing, but you just realize after a while that it's not an end in itself.

karl_ae · 2025-11-07T11:03:07+00:00

You are asking the right questions. I wish I came to this realization when I was your age.

Women and men have different hormones, drives and feelings, so I can't speak for women. Howevery as a man who had his experiences, I can confidently say that there is no such thing as free sex. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you should marry your highschool sweetheart but when it comes to experience, the principle of "too much of a good thing" holds true.

When you are young and the whole world is in front of you, every encounter feels like a gift to you. Every new notch on your belt adds up to your confidence. If you are lucky, i.e. physically attractive and learn to push the right buttons at the right time, the game gets easier as you grow. You are in your mid 20s. Provided that you keep fit and advance in your career, wait till you hit your mid 30s. Your "success" rate will improve logarithmically.

At that point, you'll realize that both the "married happily ever after" and "forever bachelor" were fads. Married men after having their first kids will start to envy their single friends. Single guys who keep playing in the field will numb the emptiness with more alcohol and/or work.

But don't worry, it's not that bad. There is the middle ground. Pick your poison and own it. Know that whatever you do, it's a trade off and you have to work hard as years go by. When I was your age, my boss, who we became good friends after all these years gave me a great advice that I'll pass over to you. He said, don't get married unless you are planning to have kids. If you do, you either get married very early, right after uni, have kids early in life. This way they'll be old enough so you can focus on yourself and your marrage in your golden years. Since you married your wife when you are very young, you'll grow together, this increases chances of you staying together.

If you miss the boat, go out, travel, live the life, build all the experience in the world. Find a young woman and get married when you have matured enough. By that time, you lived the life, have no regrets and can focus on growing your kids and being a good husband.

I know I got a bit off topic but since you asked an honest question, I wanted to pass on the advice that I was given. Back to your original question, some hookups are very shallow and make you question things the next day. Sometimes you build amazing connection in a few hours and remember the experience years to come. Some evolve to long term relationships and you don't even remember some of their names.

As you grow up, you'll realize that those who have the capacity and the will to connect with their partner and form strong bonds, will vanish from the scene. Some will quit and chose to sit at home. The ones who keep playing are either the ones who tried and failed, or worse who don't even have the capacity or the will. Yes, technically and physically you might have better experiences but if you want to connect with them for longer and deeper connection, it doesn't get easier.

I've been all over the place, more can be said, but if you can take one thing, remember this: we are all alone in this universe and almost everything we do is a mere distraction

Hope this helps

norwegiandoggo · 2025-11-07T07:31:28+00:00

It happens because you either didn't emotionally connect with the girl. Or you over-invested emotionally and now feel bad you can't see her again.

Try to dial in the emotional invesgment.: Enough to where you do really feel connected with her. But not that much that you go into sadness because it's just a fling.

miyass_miyass · 2025-11-07T11:45:58+00:00

We get threads like this a lot and it largely attracts responses from people who feel the same as OP does, so I thought I could give an alternative view:

No, I hear this a lot but have never really experienced it. I am always glowing after new sex.

The only times I have felt bad after sex was when I was really drunk. But I wouldn’t describe it as a sense of emptiness.

dead-beat65 · 2025-11-07T07:06:08+00:00

Tried hook up once I couldn't get hard. So kinda avoid that. Even if it's casual I try to built intimacy. If there's no intimacy I'm out

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-11-07T08:32:52+00:00

Almost 35 and I haven't craved ONS since I was like 22.

MathematicianSea9149 · 2025-11-07T15:00:38+00:00

If you feel empty, why not do other things when you travel and occasionally date just enough to scratch that itch?

2xwhat · 2025-11-07T15:10:56+00:00

Yeah i feel empty everytime but i still chase the thrill as if anything will change

Silly_Randy · 2025-11-07T15:32:14+00:00

That comes with the ONS lifestyle.

FWB or situationships are more about connecting as people and emotionally. Like hanging out as friends but then coming home and fucking.

What comes with the FWB lifestyle is, one person will get attached and if it's not going to go further, then that person will get hurt.

I say, enjoy yourself. Realise this is temporary. And don't get attached. Don't have expectations.

You will be fine.

Remarkable_Outside67 · 2025-11-07T12:11:02+00:00

same here man, this year I’ve been out with like 30 girls or so, and it still feels the same. I’m still tryna figure out why that happens, but honestly, I can see myself dropping the whole “seduction” thing at some point.

its22K · 2025-11-07T22:35:39+00:00

its whatever you want it to be.

Dry-Set-6761 · 2025-11-07T12:29:03+00:00

Born_Muscle_8096 · 2025-11-07T07:06:09+00:00

its simple influence on whats right and wrong, there’s nothing wrong in casually hooking with girls, you’re just idealizing

Live-Ad-6309 · 2025-11-07T16:45:16+00:00

Yeah. I've come to the conclusion its just not for me. The emptiness doesnt go away. A monogamous relationship feels better.

throwaway-research1 · 2025-11-07T19:23:41+00:00

Over time you stop feeling anything, so no emptiness, nothing

nintendoborn1 · 2025-11-07T20:45:55+00:00

No lol

Disastrous_Affect742 · 2025-11-08T00:08:02+00:00

If I'm over pursuing it and having too much yeah I do ! So I try to limit it too only a couple times a year max! For me 1-3 ONS a year is enough to scratch that itch

Pocchari_Kevin · 2025-11-08T01:29:10+00:00

Yep. Meaningless sex long term isn’t fulfilling for me as a person.

Jooooodddd · 2025-11-08T05:55:15+00:00

Bro is drowning in success. I cant even get laid bruh

AcceptableWeird8246 · 2025-11-07T07:14:47+00:00

Its part of it, its actually psychologically and biologically normal if u do it with someone who u dont love

Kylearean · 2025-11-07T16:23:00+00:00

Of course. The whole point isn't about ONS, it's about improving yourself so that women want to be with you. I mean you can use it for ONS, but it doesn't need to be like that.

bmcapers · 2025-11-07T12:42:41+00:00

Maybe for two minutes after post nut clarity, but then afterwards the fun returns. It’s knowing the two minutes are going to happen and using that time to express appreciation towards one’s partner, which doesn’t necessarily have to be vocally - just being present with them rather than concerned about one’s own self is enough.

TripleDigitNomad · 2025-11-07T20:20:43+00:00

Not really, unless she was not as hot as I would have wanted. But if she met my attractiveness standards, then I feel great. There's nothing better than knowing a hot girl wanted you to fuck her and then you getting to do it.

Title	Anyone else feel empty after ons ?
Author	bbalboa99
Upvotes	24
Comments	33
Date	November 7, 2025 7:02 AM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1oqnoe9/anyone_else_feel_empty_after_ons/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/anyone-else-feel-empty-after-ons.1565882 https://theredarchive.com/post/1565882

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