Anyone else feel like absolute crap when you improve something about yourself and don't see results?

IronManSeduction · 2016-09-01T14:52:49+00:00

I think a mistake men make is thinking that attraction means women start showing overt interest. Another mistake is putting too much focus on the wrong area.

Just because women aren't tripping over themselves to get to you, doesn't mean that your efforts of becoming more physically attractive are not noticed. Perhaps before, you'd have just blended in the crowd. But now, she'd notice you. That's a difference, even though it might not manifest into a real difference if no action is taken.

And that leads me to point 2: taking action. It's absolutely important to work on self-improvement, but ultimately I found the real attractive power in men is in their behaviour. Being a man of action means being the one to make the approach, being the one to push things forward, being the one who is unfazed by setbacks and rejections, being the one who lives a mentality of abundance.

MegaStoops · 2016-09-01T07:01:19+00:00

It's a weird feeling, yes.

It's also very, very common, and is a lot of the reason why people give up on things they think they care about.

You THINK it isn't doing anything, because you only are paying attention to that very specific end goal, waiting for yourself to wake up one morning and think "I am finally fixed and now I am FINALLY happy!", which is predicated on "attracting women" in the vague sense. But that's not how it works. Just keep picking away at wherever you think you need improvement until you find the root cause of what exactly your problem is (it could very well be an attitude problem).

MindsEvolve · 2016-09-01T13:39:03+00:00

Give yourself time to get comfortable in your new clothes. You're not just transforming your wardrobe, you're transforming yourself by starting to invest in making a change. It takes time. Read the material that's out there, swipe right on your dating apps, and start going to events that attract your dream women. You got this!

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more and have someone to brainstorm with.

pstedman · 2016-09-01T18:18:55+00:00

Progress is neither instantaneous nor is it linear.

But if you keep at your challenge (in this case, attracting women) progress IS inevitable.

Growth takes time. Learning things takes time. Changing your mindsets and rewiring your brain (and body, with lifting) takes time.

You need to have a longterm mindset, not a short term one if you have any hopes of succeeding... because if you give up, most of the effort you put in will be for naught.

Persistence conquers all.

The reality is the road will have bumps. You will have good days, bad days; hell good months and bad months. But if you keep pushing - going to the gym when you don't want to, talking to girls when you don't feel like it, taking action when it's tough... things will change. And in time you will look back and wonder how far you've come.

The craziest thing is that once you get to a certain point it's like an escape velocity. All of a sudden, you go from having almost no success with women to having multiple women in your life - and then to having the "haram" or the ability to choose a top-quality girl from the litter.

Enjoy the process and embrace the suck, because not only is IT inevitable... but reaching your goals will be too. It just takes time to build the life and man you want.

Street Cred: Dating Coach (who has been through all of this in dating, and has seen the same trends repeat themselves in working out / business) Other Resources: On Process: http://patstedman.com/2015/08/17/process-vs-outcome/ On Consistency: http://patstedman.com/2015/06/16/why-you-need-consistency/ On Rejection: http://patstedman.com/2015/06/10/the-truth-about-rejection/ On Growth & Pain: http://patstedman.com/2016/02/26/growth-is-painful/ On Awareness & Action: http://patstedman.com/2016/07/07/develop-awareness/

TheXXL · 2016-09-01T14:32:30+00:00

you started going to the gym, got yourself some new clothes, got a nice haircut, and still can't attract any women.

How do you stop things like that getting to you?

By realizing that those things are only a small part of being attractive. Women are way less visual than men. having those things is a bonus, but you can never rely solely on a bonus when the main part is missing: confidence, personality, humor, being sexual and fearless when it comes to showing all those traits.

Overnight_Delivery · 2016-09-01T16:24:37+00:00

no I just scratch it off the list of things that were needed so I can get closer to figuring out the things that are needed. also add it to the list of things I know aren't holding me back.

Unless you are at the point of what is psychologically called "supernormal releaser" ( read page 24 of http://stuckathomemom.com/downloads/NotSoSmart.pdf ) then small improvements will only help subtly. You should try making bolder moves to see what you are now more able to get away with.

AstralSurfer11 · 2016-09-02T18:20:04+00:00

Because you're trying to attain inner fulfillment by acquiring outer things. That which fulfills you is already inside you, not 'out there'.

Start meditating daily and it will help you feel more content :)

Title	Anyone else feel like absolute crap when you improve something about yourself and don't see results?
Author	BubbleShip
Upvotes	3
Comments	20
Date	September 1, 2016 5:49 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/50lr30/anyone_else_feel_like_absolute_crap_when_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/anyone-else-feel-like-absolute-crap-when-you.1411777 https://theredarchive.com/post/1411777

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