Anyone else feel some shame in studying seduction?

InnerGamer · 2013-02-03T02:22:50+00:00

I was recently in a funk about this and talked to some of my friends about it. The fact is, this is self improvement. One of my affirmations is that I am honest and open in all of my relationships. Some people have misconceptions about PUA and its no use worrying about unless it comes up. And I feel like I can successfully explain myself to the people that matter in my life. Being upfront about what I'm interested in has worked for me. And making it clear I'm not in the business of making people do stuff they don't want to do. The important thing is to have fun and trust yourself. Good luck :)

ArmoredHobo · 2013-02-03T03:09:54+00:00

But besides that, do you guys have any thoughts on shame and the seduction community?

Shame is what created the need for the seduction community.

nycprowl · 2013-02-03T03:59:21+00:00

I treat it like fightclub. I don't talk about it with other people who aren't into it, as I know they won't "get" it and the few times I've tried it's backfired on me.

I'm not ashamed that I'm into it as in feel guilty, down on myself, etc. however I don't really let my friends know about it either. There is such a bad stigma with it and people get the wrong idea. I'm here for the inner game stuff mostly, but people hear the word "seduction" and immediately think "OH MY GOD MANIPULATIVE DOUCHE BAG!"

backintheussr2 · 2013-02-03T01:08:25+00:00

As long as you aren't using it to learn to be a douchebag, you're fine.

bayank · 2013-02-03T02:07:20+00:00

haha, try telling your non seduction friends about this. I once tried telling my friends about my first day day gaming and opening direct because I was so excited, they ALL called me weird.

So... don't worry about it as long as you're happy with it. We're in this for us, not to impress other people.

eablokker · 2013-02-03T03:22:33+00:00

Honestly yes I do feel some shame about it. It's based on a misconception that as a man I should already know how to do this, and asking for help is demasculating. But that's true for other things beyond seduction, for example men go to doctors less often than women because they feel some shame in having to ask for medical help. I think it's the same concept. But if you can accept that sometimes you feel shame about it and that's okay, realize that feeling shame tricks us into believing that it IS a shameful activity when it's actually not. Its called emotional reasoning. The feeling of shame is real, but then jumping to the conclusion that that means it IS shameful, that's the illusion.

Brannus · 2013-02-03T01:17:06+00:00

Shame? No. Am I conscious of what someone will think when I say "Yeah, I've studied seduction.", you bet your ass I do. However, I usually present it as social dynamics (it's easy for me to say this since I have a B.A. in psychology), because this is a facet of social dynamics.

I'm quite proud of the strides I've made since reading "The Game" and being introduced to the community. So while I don't advertise of what I've learned and taught myself, I try to not shy away from it as well.

2013-02-03T01:07:51+00:00

a little bit of the tips on here seem a little too arrogant but other then that this place gives out plenty of good advice when it comes to women. Im trying to be a whole lot better with women and I feel no shame in that.

Moe1108 · 2013-02-03T02:42:26+00:00

none whatsoever. I see it as trying to improve myself.

sedditq · 2013-02-03T03:13:39+00:00

Nah its awesome really, because all other guys (people) have no clue about most social dynamics while I can see through most of their actions!

quickie_ss · 2013-02-03T05:23:13+00:00

Look man, it's the way the world works. It's been this way for a very long time. All we are doing is passing on wisdom that has worked for years and years.

Do you maintain ongoing healthy relationships with the women that you seduce? Are you classy through the whole process? Are you staying real and keeping it legal? Then you have no need to worry.

2013-02-03T05:55:55+00:00

It does feel slightly less valuable to me than if I were a "natural." I have a few friends who just naturally did all the same shit that seduction literature presses for: push/pull, abundance mentality, dealing with shit-tests well, cocky funny, and above all else, kino. I never would've learned any of this stuff if it weren't for Seddit, so it amazes me that the guys I know with game came by this stuff so naturally.

As far as guilt goes, I don't advertise that I study it, but I've admitted it when asked. I've gotten one fairly harsh reaction, but that was when I tried to defend it. A small handful of other times, I just casually admitted that I studied it without acting like it was a big deal, and those people seemed more accepting of it, which is ironic because not apologizing and being comfortable with your choices is one of the fundamental principles of seduction.

cantaloupe_clam_jam · 2013-02-03T17:46:37+00:00

Not shame. I feel like it's an awesome and secret insiders club that others don't understand. I feel like it's an awesome secret we're required to keep.

july25 · 2013-02-03T03:31:20+00:00

That shame you feel is called socil conditioning. You're a man, this is normal. Start hanging with people and surround yourself with influences that constantly remind yourself that this is normal. Brainwash yourself into believing this if you have to, it's a selective blind spot. Reality is subjective

BeatBoxing_Abe · 2013-02-03T02:35:41+00:00

I don't tell my friends I'm a PUA or even identify that with that term at all. To me, all I am is a guy who talks to an above average amount of girls and knows how to handle himself socially.

Would you feel shame about being a guy who talks to alot of girls? I sure as hell don't

rasputin724 · 2013-02-03T06:07:45+00:00

I'm proud about it, even got one of my friends to take a bootcamp with RSD. Why be ashamed of improving yourself? I even tell girls I date, and they seem to think it's pretty cool.

Ausen · 2013-02-03T06:49:03+00:00

I suck at guitar. Should I be ashamed for looking up a guide for how to play it and learning how?

It's generally assumed everyone learned game somehow. Some through experience, some from their parents, some from biology. Seduction is a science created from intelligent people who were having bad luck with girls. Don't feel ashamed because you want to find the right way to do things instead of wading through the wrong ways.

You don't have to rediscover the light bulb. Just use Edison's directions. And anyone who gives you shit for it is just mad that you have the balls to do make it easier on yourself instead of following the societal norms that made you seek seduction in the first place.

Muzungu · 2013-02-03T07:39:57+00:00

It will pass, trust me.

2013-02-03T15:42:36+00:00

I hope it's not too late to comment but here's my two cents.

I don't necessarily feel shame about the topic because I'm using r/seduction as a way to better myself as a communicator, and not to play every girl I see. After checking this subreddit, I've been able to improve greatly. I use to talk at an insanely fast pace, speak quietly, lose attention of others, and walk with my head towards the ground.

I saw it somewhere else before, but someone mentioned a similar quote "Be the person you want to be, and the women will come as an additional perk."

I'm now a lot more confident and it's amazing what all these little things add up too. I don't talk to my friends about seduction, but if I did, I think they would go ahead and follow along after seeing the difference I've made.

IANAPUA_Yet · 2013-02-03T17:40:25+00:00

I don't talk freely about studying seduction, but I've confided to a few close friends that I'm actively attempting to sharpen my social skills. I don't refer to any particular resources, though. I just talk about my goals and how I'm practicing it in a step-by-step sort of way.

The_DukeDevlin · 2013-02-03T20:42:34+00:00

Most of the "shame" I've seen is other onlien communities taking jabs at us. I sure don't feel shame when I'm with a gorgeous girl that I met through seduction principles, and I've never gotten "shamed" by any of my friends who see me doing pick up.

ccas25 · 2013-02-10T23:13:37+00:00

I don't think it's shame, I just think it's hilariously absurd that there is an entire online community dedicated to the study of how to pick up women, complete with code-words and field reports. Don't get me wrong I think it's great but I think it's equally important to realize that maybe sometime s we overdo it.

inoise91 · 2013-02-04T06:20:30+00:00

don't be dude, more people know about this shit then you'd think. A week or two ago I was at a party and I commented on one girl off in the distance and the guy next to me said "You have 3 seconds to approach." to which I responded "I'm glad your a Neil Strauss Fan." and we proceeded to have a discussion about The Game in front of a few other girls we were with, and it wasnt that weird. If you bring it up just own it and be outcome independent about it, people will respect you more if you just own it then be ashamed.

LeRedditFaceXD · 2013-02-03T18:17:57+00:00

Why should I be shameful?

How is using pick-up to fuck random girls any different than a woman using her looks to get free dinners from chumps?

Were you raised by a single mother?

Title	Anyone else feel some shame in studying seduction?
Author	sharpie22
Upvotes	36
Comments	40
Date	February 3, 2013 12:43 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/17s5gb/anyone_else_feel_some_shame_in_studying_seduction/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/anyone-else-feel-some-shame-in-studying-seduction.1346824 https://theredarchive.com/post/1346824

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