Authenticity vs "Game"

HonorEtVeritas · 2022-04-25T17:53:10+00:00

The problem with trying to change up your personality with meeting people, let alone girls, is that over time you're reinforcing these traits you feign, things you say, etc. that don't really reflect you. You start to lose some of your authentic traits, quirks, mannerisms, etc. that are pretty important in terms of attraction and staying true to yourself overall, which you should no matter if you're trying to meet women.

Rather than intently trying to change up your personality depending on meeting a girl, try to go in with the mindset of being yourself, and maybe taking a different approach with the interaction, rather than trying to adopt a different mindset/personality. Like think to yourself "I wanna talk to her but I'm not confident enough, chill, charming, etc. But I'm going to go ahead anyway and talk to her, and try to be more playful with my conversation."

In this case, instead of trying to act chill, cool, or any sort of persona you may have in mind, you decide to embrace yourself but also acknowledge that you may feel like you're lacking in some areas, but meeting that chick is a PERFECT opportunity to build in those areas you lack, and maximize your strengths.

Ultimately, I think fake it to make can help, especially when starting to build inner game. But the real confidence comes from being comfortable with who you are, which takes a lot of practice when it comes to meeting girls to be comfortable. That's the beauty of self-improvement though. Each day and each opportunity/interaction is a positive in itself, no matter how it turns out.

nevertextgoodnight · 2022-04-25T20:11:16+00:00

Seduction is always a mask

We wear masks all day, so to think all of a sudden that in dating you're just going to be yourself will leave you hanging

But that is not to say the mask doesn't get more refined and integrated with experience

norwegiandoggo · 2022-04-25T18:24:10+00:00

What is your excuse for not acting in a beneficial way, is it that you're insecure? Or is it that it doesn't feel aligned with your personality. And no, being insecure is not a personality. Once you can distinguish between these two things it should solve your problem

Fluffy_Risk9955 · 2022-04-25T21:35:51+00:00

Seduction skills are an extension of social skills. Men with great social skills are usually successful and those seduction skills at that point come naturally. You can fake those skills, but she won’t stay around and it erodes her trust in men over time. And this is why being genuine socially capable and having the evolved seduction skills from that trumps the fake it till you make it guys.

tuna_cowbell · 2022-04-25T23:26:44+00:00

It’s important to remember the full meaning of fake it until you make it. To me, the saying has always been about changing your behaviour for yourself, to help you achieve the mindset that goes with it. It’s about working to become more like an ideal version of yourself—someone who is different from who you are currently, but who is still aligned with your values, beliefs, desires, etc.—maybe even more aligned than the you who you are currently. It’s not about being fake or performing, so much as it is about changing habits and growing as a person. It may feel fake or uncomfortable to an extent, but those are just growing pains of changing your perspective and behaviour. It doesn’t feel like a full-on betrayal of yourself.

Conversely, when people talking about pretending and how it’s bad, they’re talking about putting on a persona that is actually fake, which does not feel true to yourself and which compromises some aspect of who you feel you truly are. The focus is not on you trying to grow as a person, but about placating the people around you (or who you want to be around you). It’s not a change that you actually internalize, either; rather, it remains a false facade laid overtop your authentic self, and there’s going to be chafing between that shell and your true interior. It ends up feeling emotionally draining and creates hollow relationships.

That’s how I see it, at least! Don’t be afraid to try to improve yourself, but remember to make changes based on who you are and what matters to you—not layering on some false persona to try to please others.

Contango6969 · 2022-04-26T03:10:01+00:00

Fake it till you make it. But within reason like if you are a shut in virgin its just going to be comical if you act like james bond.

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-04-26T04:13:22+00:00

Inner game, outer game. Here’s a bulletin: There is no game! If you’re playing games, you’re going to lose.

Title	Authenticity vs "Game"
Author	Codi_Banks
Upvotes	3
Comments	16
Date	April 25, 2022 5:32 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ubqlr8/authenticity_vs_game/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/authenticity-vs-game.1261204 https://theredarchive.com/post/1261204

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