Being physically attractive but having no confidence/game is the absolute worst.

PICKUPACCOUNT2 · 2018-01-16T22:54:00+00:00

No it isn't. Being both unattractive and having no confidence/game is obviously worse.

It definitely comes across as a stupid humble brag. Go approach and execute.

ip_g_chodder · 2018-01-16T22:13:58+00:00

You can fix your personality. You can't fix your face. Don't know if you have it "the absolute worst" but you're def a good victim.

flashgordon_12 · 2018-01-17T01:27:16+00:00

I guarantee that you are wrong. This is coming from someone that used to be in your shoes. Like good looking enough to be stopped in the middle of the street by strangers. You just need some experience under your belt. You'll calm your nerves and gain some confidence after going on a few dates (for me it was closer to 10 or 15 dates).

t_3223322 · 2018-01-17T03:40:11+00:00

I didn't even know I was attractive til I was 28. Then I spent all of 29 improving game and fucking random women. We all learn at our own pace.

hazzinator · 2018-01-16T21:46:57+00:00

Are you me? I've been an awkward computer nerd my whole life and I'm only just getting out of my ugly duckling phase. My personality hasn't quite caught up yet though, and I don't ever feel like I'm going to be ready to do the whole "getting with women" thing. I get approached a lot on nights out, but conversations never last more than a minute or two before they realise I'm visibly nervous, distant and unable to think of anything to say.

I can't really help it, it's all I've ever known. My social anxiety makes me extremely nervous around new people, and that's even without the extra variable of sexual attraction being thrown in. I'm only comfortable when I'm around close friends who I know are ok with my awkward and goofy personality, and I don't feel like most of the girls who approach me would be. Cue me avoiding every chance to get with a cute girl because I feel like I'd just be wasting their time, my anxiety would get the better of me before too long and I'd just ruin all chance I had. I'm on the waiting list for CBT therapy, and while I don't expect it to cure me, I know it will definitely help me. If possible, try and do the same. The problems we have are deep-rooted from our upbringing, it's going to be extremely tricky to fix on our own without professional help guiding us.

SyrusDrake · 2018-01-17T02:46:52+00:00

I also have no confidence but am as attractive as roadkill. Wanna switch?

Kintsugi2 · 2018-01-17T00:36:44+00:00

Honestly it is tough being attractive and having no confidence. But it's still easier than not being attractive. You might face different internal battles than them however...

I know (only a year ago) I have had thoughts like "I'm fake because I am objectively a 9/10 but can't maintain the decent conversation level everyone that looks like me is able to easily do."

It is routed in comparing yourself to others and feeling like you don't match up. Like "why am I struggling when I hear so many people say looks are the most important but I already have that in check?"

Girls expect a guy who is extremely attractive to be at a certain level of social aptitude and you don't fit that expectation. The good news is that your improvements will see greater results than those that are less attractive. You can't make excuses like you are doing because it really just comes down to confronting your fears and going out. You WILL EMBARRASS YOURSELF. If you aren't willing to make a complete fool of yourself once in while, you don't sound committed to changing and are choosing to complain instead of acting.

Title	Being physically attractive but having no confidence/game is the absolute worst.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	13
Date	January 16, 2018 7:51 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7quzg7/being_physically_attractive_but_having_no/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/being-physically-attractive-but-having-no.1440186 https://theredarchive.com/post/1440186

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