Canned responses to predictable questions/situations

executex · 2012-12-25T23:31:59+00:00

When older girls say "Aww you're so young!"

Say "Alright grandma I'll be sure to take it easy on you"

neelshiv · 2012-12-26T00:02:35+00:00

Q: What do you do?

A: I hate when people ask me that...for two reasons. I hate it because its a boring question, and in this particular instance I feel like you can probably do better, and I hate it because people never believe me when I tell them what I do and it turns into a whole.....thing.

Q: Oh come on, now you have to tell me....

A: Ugh fine, Im a cetacean behavioral specialist.

Q: A what?

A: A dolphin trainer. Im a dolphin trainer.

etc etc etc. Rodeo clown or whatever other dumb unbelievable profession. The point isnt to lie, the point is to get them to believe your bullshit before you cop that its bullshit. Its a show of power, i.e. "you like me enough to buy into my horseshit and I just proved it". I have banged girls and they have told me this was why I got the kitten.

BONUS: If a girl asks you "what are you doing here?", you pick her up in your arms, make laser eye contact, and then whisper in her ear "Picking up girls", then you kiss her.

EXTRA BONUS: If some girl calls you young or old or fat or skinny or short or tall, say "What else do you like about me?"

Toby16custom · 2012-12-26T04:46:12+00:00

"I have a boyfriend"

"That's cool, I'm not interested in him"

This one flowed off my tongue once and the look of astonishment was better then a free Chipotle burrito with guac.

She admitted she had lied and bought be a redbull vodka to keep my smartass energy high.

JihadDerp · 2012-12-26T04:45:43+00:00

When people ask me what I do for a living, I say something ridiculous. "I'm an artisan pencil sharpener." Or, "I'm a used cigarette lighter repair man." Or, "I provide security for city trash collectors from bums and other light weight entrepreneurs."

executex · 2012-12-25T23:29:24+00:00

you: "Hey let's get some coffee."

hb: "Sorry I have a boyfriend."

you: "That's fine, he can come along."

jacyiscool · 2012-12-26T03:51:41+00:00

"What do you do for fun?"

"I scuba skydive."

"What?"

"I get into scuba gear, skydive out of a plane, then when I hit the water I go scuba diving."

"Sounds fun."

"Yeah it's easier than motocross parasailing."

spivey378 · 2012-12-26T15:53:33+00:00

'Are you trying to seduce me?"

n0c0ntr0l · 2012-12-26T02:28:07+00:00

Do you do this a lot? Once every hour, on the hour.

How old are you? 14.

What do you do? I make lists of lists of lists

Jake_STi-RA · 2012-12-26T04:06:31+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Canned responses to predictable questions/situations
Author	executex
Upvotes	38
Comments	37
Date	December 25, 2012 11:28 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/15fvdg/canned_responses_to_predictable/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/canned-responses-to-predictable.1344794 https://theredarchive.com/post/1344794

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