The biggest problem I've had with pickup has been one-itis. My personal problem was that I formed emotional attachments to women way too fast and was heartbroken when it didn't work out (as most relationships don't). Note I'm speaking in past-tense here: I feel I've conquered this. By that I mean that if I start a long-term relationship, it's an intellectual rather than an emotional one. Here's how:

  1. The rule of three. I made a rule for myself: at any one time, I should have three girls I am actively dating or trying to date. The glossary used to refer to this as "spinning plates". At one time I viewed this as something that "advanced" PUAs did, but now I realize that, at least for me, it's fundamental. The reason is this: you will fail, hard, many times. If you're only trying to date one girl, it's soul crushing if you fail. But if you're trying to date three girls and you fail with one, you've got two more, and she'll be replaced in your list of three soon enough.

  2. Open up to your friends. One of the reasons I became attached to women so quickly is that American culture teaches guys that the only socially acceptable way to express your emotions is through sex. I was desperate to form a strong relationship with one woman because I wasn't expressing myself in any other way. What I discovered was that if I opened up and talked about my life and frustrations with people I wasn't sleeping with and didn't intend to, it became much easier to have casual relationships with women, because I wasn't dependent on people I was sleeping with to express my feelings. It felt weird at first to open up to my friends in that way, but my friends exceeded my hopes and expectations. Not only do I have more friends now, I have stronger friendships with the friends I have.

  3. Choose date activities based on what you enjoy, not based on what you think girls enjoy. Originally, I chose places to go on dates based on what I thought girls would enjoy. Sometimes girls enjoyed it and sometimes it didn't, but the fundamental problem was that I didn't enjoy it. This meant that my presence there was predicated around her; my fun was based around her. Instead, now I choose activities that I like. It turns out some (a lot) of girls don't like rock climbing, but I do. Since my enjoyment on a date isn't based around them as much as what I'm doing, it's easier for me to avoid becoming to attached to one girl.