First off I admit my problem may be unique. I don't know if anyone else can relate to it, but I don't know what to do so here I am.

Through the help of Seddit and others I found out my honest problem is that I just need to come out of my shell and be comfortable with myself. But I have these things I do that it seems like no matter how much I become aware of my problems they still remain. They feel instinctual. I have strong social anxiety,\ and despite being aware that it is irrational, whenever I start talking one-on-one to a girl of any attractiveness (or guy for that matter),\ I become very submissive and afraid. I basically telegraph to these people, "Please don't hurt me," and appear very weak and fragile. And the thing is I still act like I'm scared to talk to them because I am. But I feel like I just don't know how to "let go," if you will. I truly believe nothing is wrong with me now, but I just can't get the body language and mannerisms to follow suit. I feel like I need to get rid of my desire for them to want to like me, but I don't know how!

Another example is whenever someone touches me I usually jump a little. I don't mind physical contact, but I kind of have to prepare for it a bit or have it be me who initiates it. So when girls I genuinely like touch my arm or back, I jump out of my skin for a split second which is not what I want to do.

I don't know what to do. I feel like in my mind I'm really close to finally letting go and feeling comfortable being me around others, yet on the outside I'm acting the same exact way I always have. Does anyone have any advice?