Dancing; why isn't it mentioned here?

Janemba_Corvalis · 2017-02-18T06:06:35+00:00

The only "dancing" I do in a club is letting the girl grind on me while I sorta just move along with her/the music. You're practically just standing there.

flatoutfrazzled · 2017-02-18T06:11:50+00:00

I'd highly recommend saving yourself the headache. Like any skill, getting good at dancing takes months of dedication. If your goal is to "get good at dancing" so you can get chicks, skip right to the chicks and approach during the day.

Otherwise, if you just want to get good at dancing as a form of art or exercise then yeah, see the other comments.

Principatus · 2017-02-18T06:49:51+00:00

Take ceroc or salsa lessons. You'll be the man when you get good at it, and you'll get to meet (and dance with) a whole lot of girls while you're learning.

Girls are really impressed by a guy who can dance.

playingpants · 2017-02-18T07:16:45+00:00

Just two step and move ya ass. Don't be a white guy that dances with their top halves.

homoludens · 2017-02-18T10:33:01+00:00

Dance is total aphrodisiac for women, they can not resist man dancing as freely as possible. Just move, move as much as you can.

If you want to free yourself in dance, find some "free movement" practices, don't spend time with classic dances - you don't need them in clubs. In club - you just need to be as open as possible.

I would recommend 5Rythms, https://www.5rhythms.com/, but be respectful of the others in the tribe, don't mess around there, they will know what you are doing much before you. Use it as self improvement, and you will also learn to interpret body movements, which will help you a lot in choosing girl to approach.

There are usually other options, like (http://openfloor.org/)[http://openfloor.org/] and some are just giving movement workshops.

This is all part of movement based psychological therapy - and you don't mess with people you share therapy with.

TehGoobz · 2017-02-18T03:19:55+00:00

Take dancing lessons. Grinding isn't that hard. Let the woman do all the work.

jefffffffff · 2017-02-18T05:34:37+00:00

Spend 1 hour / week dancing Infront of a mirror using YouTube tutorials. Learn some moves bro.

WaningOceans · 2017-02-18T08:19:01+00:00

I fucking hate dancing. It just feels awkward even when I do it right. I rather just stand around and bob my head sippin on a gin n tonic vibing to the music.

craftofcharisma · 2017-02-18T16:19:39+00:00

Dancing (even in night clubs) isn’t a major factor in seduction unless you want it to be. In this post, I’m going to start by explaining: what are the major factors in seduction. Next, I’ll explain how these are connected to dance. Lastly, I’m going to answer your question, “How can I learn to dance.”

To seduce a girl, there are five questions that you need to solve:

Question 1: How do I meet her (or approach her)? You can meet a woman through cold approach, a dating app, friends, a mutual interest, social media, an event, she approaches you, or something else -- it doesn't matter how you meet a girl that you’re attracted to, as long as you do. It’s hard to seduce a woman that you don’t know.

Once you've met her you need to figure out:

Question 2: How do I get her alone? When you meet a woman for the first time, it’s likely that she’ll be with other people — friends, family, acquaintances, coworkers (if not, that’s one less thing to worry about). To seduce her, she'll need to feel either attracted or comfortable enough (likely both) with you to want be alone with you.

*Remember, when other people are around, most people will become more physically or emotionally constrained. Especially when it comes to choices around intimacy. As an example, most people have sex during their lives, but very few people have sex in groups. The same thing holds true (on a smaller scale) about holding hands, kissing, or opening up about a person’s emotions or deepest secrets. It’s just a fact — people are more intimately constrained while in public. Know that, and use it to your advantage.

Question 3. How do I move her into a private location? Generally, you’ll meet a woman for the first time in a public space. This could be school, work, a bar, in line at the bank, etc. To seduce a woman, she'll need to feel either attracted (or comfortable) enough (usually it’s a combination of the two) to move you, or go with you to, a private location. Again, most people aren’t going to have sex, or serious foreplay that might lead to sex, in public because they’re worried about the social consequences of doing so.

Question 4: How do I touch her, and escalate physically in a way that she'll accept? From the first hand handshake or tap on the shoulder, to the point when you’re naked bodies are slipping back and forth against each other, and every step in between, you’re going to have to figure out how to touch her in a way that makes her both want you to touch her intimately, and will allow her to feel comfortable when you do — as some point I’m going to explain exactly how to do this in another post.

Question 5: How do I nurture the right emotional connection (chemistry) to seduce a woman? Really, you can distill the emotions necessary to seduce a woman down to a mix of three: Attraction, Comfort, and Sexual Desire (or tension).

Attraction = she has to perceive you as being valuable to her (it doesn’t matter why).

Comfortable = she needs to feel comfortable when you make advances in the relationship (so be aware of how she’s reacting to your advances).

Sexual desire = she has to consider you as potential sexual partner (the standards for this are lower than you might think).

The ability to solve these questions are the major factors in a successful seduction. Now, let’s talk about how they’re connected to dance.

Dance is one way to navigate these questions.

I’m going to take a step back in history for the sake of historical context. Safe and accessible family planning are relatively new technological advancements. For large periods of history, the only way to make sure that your daughter didn’t get knocked up by the wrong guy was to make sure that she didn’t have sex. So, people in power (dad’s, religious and political leaders, etc.) segregated men and women, and controlled the circumstances around any potential seductions. Allowing men and women to meet at a dance (just like the chaperoned dances when you were in jr. high school) was one way to do that.

For example, a few hundred years ago, a single woman might go to a dance, or ball, to meet single men, or get closer to a man she already knew, with whom she might want to knock-boots.

As a man, you might do the same. Sometimes a girl that you were interested in was ready to go, because you were the right guy, and she was in the right state of mind — maybe she had looser morals or maybe you put in the work before to nurture the right emotions to overcome her inhibitions— either way, game on (other times you had to marry her first, or get permission from her father, which is still the case in some cultures). Sometimes, a man might need bring his “A game” to get a step closer towards seducing her.

Imagine you were the guy trying to bring his A Game to the party. To do so, you might create attraction (increase your perceived value) by dressing well, being in shape, presenting yourself well, grooming yourself, dancing well, being seen with other women or people of high status, nurturing a reputation before walking into the event, or getting other women to talk about how great you were before, during, and after (before the next) event.

If you did these things well, the woman you like most might dance with you. That would give you a few minutes to talk with the girl, and spit more game. If your game was tight, and working, you might shift to asking yourself how to solve the questions that I mentioned above: How do I nurture the right emotional connection (chemistry) with her? How do I touch her (physically escalate)? How do I touch her more? How do I get her alone? How do I kiss her? How do I get her to go with me to the closet? Or for a walk by the lake? (Move her to a private place). How do I escalate to sex? If you ended up hooked up once, you might ask how do I get her to do it again? Hopefully she would be thinking the same thing ; )

My point is this, dancing well can help you more easily navigate these questions. If you dance well, it conveys value, nurtures sexual desire, creates comfort, allows you to touch, and might cause her approach you. You’re probably getting the point.

From my roommates in college to my own personal experiences, I can tell you with certainty, that, learning to dance well will help you to seduce women.

With all of this said, you don’t need to be able to dance well to seduce a girl in a dance club. There are tons of other strategies that men use in clubs successfully: buying bottles & tables, dressing in ways that stand out, going to a club with a big group, including women attractive women), creating a recognizable reputation before walking into a venue, positing in areas with high traffic, hanging our in places where a person can talk, becoming popular in the venue by being social and getting to know the staff, nurturing personality by getting good at telling stories, jokes and asking questions, etc. This list could almost be infinite.

I once picked up a girl in a NYC night club (whom I dated for nearly two years) by talking about books with her for an hour. It was too loud, so we decided to leave. The place she tried to take me to was closed, so she invited me back to her place. Game on ; )

But let’s assume that you want to learn to dance because you want this to be part of your personality (or seduction tool belt — you can call it whatever your want to call it, if you’re using it to meet at attract women it’s the same thing).

Here are tips:

Watch other people who dance well, and copy them. That’s what my buddy Ricky did. Later it’s something that I did. Heck, it's what Michael Jackson and Usher did. You can do this alone in your room, while watching movies or youtube, or when you’re out in the club. When you’re out, look for the best dancer, watch what they’re doing, and try to mimic a move or two. If you do this every time that you’re out, you’re dance skills will build over time.
Take a class. One of my roommates in college took both ballroom and latin dance for a couple semesters. Over that year, he got good because he had a structured time and place each week where he practiced. Within a few months, women wanted to dance with him. This gave him confidence, and soon he was approaching women, which led to a lot of hook ups. A lot of the things that he learned about rhythm and body movement made grinding with a woman in a club easier.
Go out with female friends who like to dance. It’s even better if they know that you’re trying to learn, and that you want to get better. Good friends will be understanding. They’ll dance with you because they like you as a person, not because you can hit every beat. Think of this as dancing training wheels.
Hire a dance coach. I did this for a while in Monterey, California at dance studio, when I turned 21. It did help. I’ve use the things that I learned from that girl on every dance floor since.

Also, a few years ago, I did a podcast interview with a couple dance coaches. One was this guy Ben. I know a bunch of my former clients took classes with him and they said it was life changing. I’ve never attended his classes, but he was great in the interview. I’ll post a link because I think it will helpful.

http://www.craftofcharisma.com/blog/2014/12/05/learning-to-dance-with-ben-weston/

Finally, have fun. Women are more likely to dance with you if you’re confident and having fun than if you can dance well. Know that, how a woman feels when she's around you is the most important variable in a seduction. I know that when you walk into a dance club, it’s easy to think that the currency is dance moves, but it’s not. It’s energy. It's emotions. The music, the lights, the dancing, it’s all about energy and emotions. Bring the right energy, and you’ll do well either way.

This makes me think of an awesome story, but I'll save it for another post. I hope this is helpful. If you have any questions, please ask.

-Christopher Luna

GrillPenetrationUnit · 2017-02-18T21:12:43+00:00

in a club you aren't trying to win a competition i dont really think about it just move to the music. girls are attracted to you if you can let loose and just dance. instant display of confidence. the average girl isnt gonna look off to the side and see a guy awkwardly standing there and think "he looks fun, i should flirt with him"

richardson1989 · 2017-02-18T23:10:17+00:00

I actually just saved a bunch of youtube dance tutorials today. It has been something i want to get more comfortable with and i think it is a huge bonus when you goto the club and can dance. Can escalate to touching sexually so fast if you are good.

What i was wondering is how much talking you should do. I think its best to just get a name and say something at least, but not talk too much and just focus on rhythm and getting physical. Thoughts???

ozzagahwihung · 2017-02-18T06:09:52+00:00

I have been incredibly successful in pick up without ever relying on dance.

That's why it's not mentioned here. Because it's unnecessary.

If you want to use it to help you, go ahead.

Title	Dancing; why isn't it mentioned here?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	24
Comments	17
Date	February 18, 2017 2:56 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5uqfcy/dancing_why_isnt_it_mentioned_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/dancing-why-isnt-it-mentioned-here.1420421 https://theredarchive.com/post/1420421

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